May
13
John on May 13th, 2010
Soccer fans can toast their favourite teams as early as 10 a.m. during the World Cup, under relaxed bar hours approved Wednesday by Toronto City Council.
“People were allowed to drink from 11 in the morning until 2 the following morning, and now they’ll be allowed to drink from 10 in the morning until 2 the following morning,†said Deputy Mayor Joe Pantalone.
Council voted overwhelmingly for the extra hour of drinking time, from June 11 to July 11.
“It’s appreciated by people who enjoy a good game with a glass of beer in the hot days of July and August,†Pantalone said. “It’s extremely significant to enjoying the beautiful game and giving an economic shot in the arm to small entrepreneurs, which is what restaurant and bar owners are.â€
Maxine is ready!
Is this just for fans??
*A man and his wife were awakened at 3:00 am by a loud pounding on the door. The man gets up and goes to the door where a drunken stranger, standing in the pouring rain, is asking for a push.
‘Not a chance,’ says the husband, ‘it is 3:00 in the morning!’
He slams the door and returns to bed.
‘Who was that?’ asked his wife.
‘Just some drunk guy asking for a push,’ he answers.
‘Did you help him?’ she asks.
‘No, I did not, it is 3:00 in the morning and it is pouring rain out there!’
‘Well, you have a short memory,’ says his wife. ‘Can’t you remember about three months ago when we broke down, and those two guys helped us? I think you should help him, and you should be ashamed of yourself!’
The man does as he is told, gets dressed, and goes out into the pounding rain.
He calls out into the dark, ‘Hello, are you still there?’
‘Yes,’ comes back the answer.
‘Do you still need a push?’ calls out the husband..
‘Yes, please!’ comes the reply from the dark.
‘Where are you?’ asks the husband.
‘Over here on the swing,’ replied the drunk.*
and that’s when the fight started…
Red Skelton’s recipe for the perfect marriage
1.  Two times a week we go to a nice restaurant, have a little beverage, good food and companionship.  She goes on Tuesdays; I go on Fridays.
2.  We also sleep in separate beds.  Hers is  in California ,  and mine is in Texas .
3. Â I take my wife everywhere, but she keeps finding her way back.
4.  I asked my wife where she wanted to go for our anniversary.  ’Somewhere I haven’t been in a long time!’ she said.  So I suggested the kitchen.
5. Â We always hold hands. If I let go, she shops.
6. Â She has an electric blender, electric toaster and electric bread maker.
She said ‘There are too many gadgets, and no place to sit down!’ So, I bought her an electric chair.
7.  My wife told me the car wasn’t running well because there was water in the carburetor.   I asked where the car was. She told me,  ’In the lake.’
8. Â She got a mud pack, and looked great for two days. Â Then the mud fell off.
9.  She ran after the garbage truck, yelling, ‘Am I too late for the garbage?’ The driver said, ‘No, jump in!’
10. Â Remember: Marriage is the number one cause of divorce.
11.  I married Miss Right. I just didn’t know her first name was Always.
12.  I haven’t spoken to my wife in 18 months.   I don’t like to interrupt her.
13.  The last fight was my fault though.  My wife asked, ‘What’s on the TV?’
I said, ‘Dust!’
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