You heard about the England bra?
All support, no cup.
What’s the differnce between a cup of coffee and England? Coffee stays in the cup longer.
Argentina are playing England in the world cup, and Messi says to the team, “listen you all seem tired, why don’t you have a night off, have a drink and I’ll play by myself.” So they agree and Messi goes to play England by himself.
At half time the Argentinian team check the score and they see ARG 1-0 ENG (Messi 37th min). They’re all impressed and get back to what theyre doing.
After the match finishes they check the score and see ARG 1-1 ENG (Lampard 85th min). They go to their dressing room and see Messi with his head in his hands. They tell him, “Come on, cheer up you got a draw all by yourself, that’s great.”Messi replies, “No you don’t understand, I got sent off in the 60th minute.”
John Terry reckons the players missed their friends and family… remind me again what he does with his friend’s family?
John Terry is so traumatized he won’t be able to sleep with a teammate’s wife for WEEKS.
In a class, the teacher is asking everyone what jobs their parents have…
Teacher to kid: and what does your dad do?
Jimmy: he’s a stripper in a gay bar and often lets other men touch his privates
After class, teacher takes Jimmy to one side…
Teacher: is that true about your dad?
Jimmy: no, he plays football for england but I was too embarassed to say.
I can’t believe we only managed a draw against a poor team we should easily have beaten.
I’m ashamed to call myself Algerian.
Oxo are bringing ot a new cube to celebrate the World Cup. It’s a white backgroung with a red cross on it. They’re going to call it ……”The laughing stock”
That bird is fairly safe sitting on the goal post. Heskey’s playing.
Fifa have released a statement saying the fan didnt break in to the dressing room after all but was let in by Rob Green.
BBC Sports News:
“Watch: Highlights – England v Algeria. View Time 0:09”