England Out of Africa
Q:How is the American soccer team like a referee’s wife?
A:They both got screwed! (USA vs. Slovenia game)
Q:Why did the soccer game get hot?
A:Because the referees turned off the fans!
Soccer is like politics. There’s a left wing, a right wing, a center, and they are all beating the hell out of each other!
Steven Gerard said that “The whole team is behind Robert Green.(the English goalkeeper who scored a goal in his own net)” His problem was that too many balls were getting behind him as well!
Robert Green is a man who makes his goals. Unfortunately for him, some are for the other team!
The English needed an experienced goalkeeper. Instead, they got one who was Green.
Robert Green was told to keep his eyes on the ball. Too bad he couldn’t keep his hands on it as well!
Q: How does Pele screw in a light bulb?
A:He sticks the bulb in the socket and the whole world turns around him.
David Beckham goes into a fast food place and says, “Give me three whoppers.”
The cashier replies, “You’re worth every penny you’re paid, you can score like nobody else, and you’re the greatest player ever.”
Why are some players called “strikers?” Well, if you’ve ever been kicked in the shins by one, you’d know why!
Although the game is called soccer, there are so many fights in the stands that maybe it should be called Sockem!
Don’t blame Maradona for his problems. He thought the drug policy for soccer was “Just Say Yes!”
A legally blind guy wanted to join a soccer team. After much discussion about the matter, they told him, “OK, you can be the ref!”
One player was a really good dribbler, but only when he drank!
At the World Cup, they use a four letter F word a lot and it’s not FIFA!
Source:
http://davidnsowards.blogspot.com/2010_06_01_archive.html