There is a poster circulated around the Soccer City Stadium in Johannesburg.
‘Man offers marriage to woman supplying World Cup Final ticket for July 11, 2010. Replies must enclose photograph of ticket.’
Category Archives: 1. Funny Email Forwards
Funny Old Man Joke -A break from the Boring World Cup Matches -Brazil vs Portugal
An old man was in his golden years, but that didn’t stop him from
trying to pick up the younger ladies. He went to the local bar,
approached a very young and pretty woman and said, “Where have you
been all my life?â€
The young lady takes one glance at him and says, “For the first half
of it, I wasn’t even born yet.â€
An old man was in his golden years, but that didn’t stop him from
trying to pick up the younger ladies. He went to the local bar,
approached a very young and pretty woman and said, “Where have you
been all my life?â€
The young lady takes one glance at him and says, “For the first half
of it, I wasn’t even born yet.â€
Recent History of Italian Football -2 Points and they’re out- Poor Italy and France
Slovakia survived a late onslaught to beat Italy 3-2, reach the Round of 16 and eliminate their illustrious opponents.
We are SAFE Italy is OUT!
Group F
Team MP W D L GF GA Pts
Paraguay 3 1 2 0 3 1 5
Slovakia 3 1 1 1 4 5 4
New Zealand 3 0 3 0 2 2 3
Italy 3 0 2 1 4 5 2
| Team | MP | W | D | L | GF | GA | Pts |
 Paraguay |
3 | 1 | 2 | 0 | 3 | 1 | 5 |
 Slovakia |
3 | 1 | 1 | 1 | 4 | 5 | 4 |
 New Zealand |
3 | 0 | 3 | 0 | 2 | 2 | 3 |
 Italy |
3 | 0 | 2 | 1 | 4 | 5 | 2 |
Best World Cup 2010 Signs and Posters
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Reporters Koster and Jojanneke of the Dutch daily newspaper Dagblad De Pers demonstrate while holding a sign during the match between Netherlands and Japan in Durban. The pair were demonstrating for the release of “Bavaria-girl” Barbara, who was arrested on suspicion of an “ambush marketing” stunt by brewer Bavaria, at a match between the Netherlands and Denmark at Soccer City stadium on June 14
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Why Teachers Drink – Because of Little Johnny’s answers
Teacher: I told you to stand at the end of the line?
Pupil: I tried, but there was someone already there!
Teacher: I told you to stand at the end of the line?
Little Johnny: I tried, but there was someone already there!
Teacher: How can you make so many mistakes in just one day?
Little Johnny: I get up early!
Teacher: You aren’t paying attention to me. Are you having trouble hearing?
Little Johnny: No, teacher I’m having trouble listening!
Teacher: Why can’t you ever answer any of my questions?
Little Johnny: Well if I could there wouldn’t be much point in me being here!
Why Teacher’s Drink
you have no time for a life from August to June.
you want to slap the next person who says, “Must be nice to work from 8 to 3 and have your summers free!”
when out in public you feel the urge to talk to strange children and correct their behavior.
you refer to adults as “boys and girls.”
you encourage your spouse by telling them they are a “good helper.”
you’ve ever had your profession slammed by someone who would never dream of doing your job.
meeting a child’s parents instantly answers the question, “Why is this kid like this?”
you believe “extremely annoying” should have its own box on the report card.
you know hundred good reasons for being late.
you don’t want children of your own because there isn’t a name you can hear that wouldn’t elevate your blood pressure.
you have no time for a life from August to June.
you want to slap the next person who says, “Must be nice to work from 8 to 3 and have your summers free!”
when out in public you feel the urge to talk to strange children and correct their behavior.
you refer to adults as “boys and girls.”
you encourage your spouse by telling them they are a “good helper.”
you’ve ever had your profession slammed by someone who would never dream of doing your job.
meeting a child’s parents instantly answers the question, “Why is this kid like this?”
you believe “extremely annoying” should have its own box on the report card.
you know hundred good reasons for being late.
you don’t want children of your own because there isn’t a name you can hear that wouldn’t elevate your blood pressure.
Why Teachers Drink – Because Grading is so difficult!!!
Dept of Statistics:
All grades are plotted along the normal bell curve.
Dept of Psychology:
Students are asked to blot ink in their exam books, close them and turn them in. The professor opens the books and assigns the first grade that comes to mind.
Dept of History:
All students get the same grade they got last year.
Dept of Religion:
Grade is determined by God.
Dept of Philosophy:
What is a grade?
Law School:
Students are asked to defend their position of why they should receive an A.
Dept of Logic:
If and only if the student is present for the final and the student has accumulated a passing grade then the student will receive an A else the student will not receive an A.
Dept of Computer Science:
Random number generator determines grade.
Music Department:
Each student must figure out his grade by listening to the instructor play the corresponding note (+ and – would be sharp and flat respectively).
Dept of Physical Education:
Everybody gets an A.
Little Johnny Joke about Church Services
A Sunday school teacher asked her little children, as they were on the way to church service, “And why is it necessary to be quiet in church?” Little Johnny replied, “Because people are sleeping.”
Jokes about France’s Terrible 2010 World Cup Performance and Actions
What do you call a Frenchman in the knockout stages of the World Cup?
The REFEREE! 🙂
* Today: France meet South Africa in Bloemfontein. Wednesday: England meet Slovenia in Port Elizabeth. Thursday: England meet France in the departure lounge.
* The French have a lot of tall players who all play in a similar style. It was like there were 11 big Cisses out there.
* Raymond Domenech knew there was revolt in the ranks when the team barbecue turned out to be a burning live sheep.
* If the French get their packing done quickly, they might just run into Nicolas Anelka in duty-free.
* France and England have never been so united. Now we both hate the French national team.
* There were tears on the streets of Paris as France’s players prepared to fly home. One teenage prostitute said: “I can’t stop crying with joy, it’s been ages since we saw Franck Ribery.”
* France have renamed one of Paris’ most famous landmarks. It’s now called the I-Can’t-Believe-They-Were-Ever-Champs Elysees.
* France are going home early from the World Cup again. If only there was a French term for ‘deja vu’.
* The French are remaking a popular American sitcom. It’s now called ‘Nobody Loves Raymond’.
What’s the difference between a Toothpick and the French national team? A toothpick has two point’s
The toothfairy Santa Claus A good french football player and a homless dude player were walking down the street when they come across $50 note who gets it first? The homless dude because none of the other’s exist.
What do you call a good football player in France? A Tourist