Category Archives: 1. Funny Email Forwards
Sex Therapist
A couple, both 67, went to a sex therapist’s office. The doctor asked, “What can I do for you?” The man said, “Will you watch us have sexual intercourse?” The doctor looked puzzled, but agreed. The doctor examined them and then directed them to disrobe and go at it. When the couple finished, the doctor reexamined them and, upon completion, advised the couple, “There’s nothing wrong with the way you have intercourse.” He then charged them $32. This happened several weeks in a row. The couple would make an appointment, have intercourse with no apparent problems other than the lack of vigor which is to be expected in 67 year-olds, get dressed, pay the doctor, and then leave. Finally after almost two months of this routine, the doctor asked, “Just exactly what are you trying to find out?” The old man said, “Oh, we’re not trying to find out anything. She’s married and we can’t go to her house. I’m married, so we can’t go to my house. The Holiday Inn charges $60. The Hilton charges $78. We do it here for $32 and I get $28 back from Medicaid.
A 92 year old man went to the doctor to get a physical.
A few days later, the doctor saw the man walking down the street with a gorgeous young lady on his arm.
At his follow up visit, the doctor talked to the man and said, “You’re really doing great, aren’t you?”
The man replied, “Just doing what you said Doctor:’Get a hot mamma and be cheerful.'”
The Doctor said, “I didn’t say that. I said you’ve got a heart murmur. Be careful!
Older Avid Golfer
An Octogenarian, who was an avid golfer, moved to a new town and joined the local Country Club.
Five Surgeons…Leave it to the Newfie -Canadian Political Joke
Five Surgeons…Leave it to the Newfie
Five surgeons are talking:
The first, an Ontario surgeon, says:Â “I like to see accountants on my operating table, because when you open them up, everything inside is numbered.”
The second, a Quebec surgeon, responds: “Yeah, but you should try electricians! Everything inside them is colour coded.”
The third, a B.C. surgeon, says: “No, I really think librarians are the best; everything inside them is in alphabetical order.”
The fourth, an Alberta surgeon, chimes in: “You know, I like construction workers… those guys always understand when you have a few parts left over.
But the fifth, a Newfie surgeon, shut them all up when he observed: “You’re all wrong. Politicians are the easiest to operate on. There’s no guts, no heart, no balls, no brains and no spine, and the head and rear end are interchangeable.”
Father’s Day Joke
A young boy had just gotten his driving permit. He asked his father, who was a minister, if they could discuss his use of the car. His father said to him, “I’ll make a deal with you. You bring your grades up, study the bible a little, and get your hair cut; then we’ll talk about it.”
A month later the boy came back and again asked his father if he could use the car. His father said, “Son, I’m really proud of you. You brought your grade up, studied the bible well, but you didn’t get your hair cut!”
The young man waited a moment an then replied, “You know dad, I’ve been thinking about that. Samson had long hair, Moses had long hair, Noah had long hair, and even Jesus had long hair.”
His father replied gently, “Yes son, and they walked everywhere they went.”
Eager to Impress the Boss Office Humour
A young executive was leaving the office late one evening when he found the CEO standing in front of a shredder with a piece of paper in his hand.
“Listen,” said the CEO, “this is a very sensitive and important document here, and my secretary has gone for the night. Can you make this thing work?”
“Certainly,” said the young executive. He turned the machine on, inserted the paper, and pressed the start button.
“Excellent, excellent!” said the CEO as his paper disappeared inside the machine. “I just need one copy.”
