Category Archives: 1. Funny Email Forwards
Funny Mother’s Dictionary of Meanings for Mother’s Day
Mother’s Dictionary of Meanings
Dumbwaiter: One who asks if the kids would care to order dessert.
Feedback: The inevitable result when the baby doesn’t appreciate the strained carrots.
Full Name: What you call your child when you’re mad at him.
Grandparents: The people who think your children are wonderful even though they’re sure you’re not raising them right.
Hearsay: What toddlers do when anyone mutters a dirty word.
Independent: How we want our children to be for as long as they do everything we say.
Puddle: A small body of water that draws other small bodies wearing dry shoes into it.
Show Off: A child who is more talented than yours.
Sterilize: What you do to your first baby’s pacifier by boiling it, and to your last baby’s pacifier by blowing on it and wiping it with saliva.
Top Bunk: Where you should never put a child wearing Superman jammies.
Two-Minute Warning: When the baby’s face turns red and she begins to make those familiar-grunting noises.
Whodunit: None of the kids that live in your house.
Maxine Mother’s Day Wisdom Cartoon
It’s Mother’s Day! 24 hours where you get to see what a perfect family would be like.
Voted Best Icelandic Volcano Ash Joke on the Internet – Mine!!!!
I nearly blew my top when I heard about the Icelandic Volcano. The newsexploded around the world and across the  internet! I thought it was a huge Volcano and the news left me trembling and quaking in my shoes. There were a lot of people spewing false information, and many were just full of hot air.  That funny dude on YouTube, who shouted, “I hate Iceland!â€, was just blowing off steam. Most of the ash cloud talk was going over my head. I especially had trouble trying to pronounce  EyJ -Eyjaf -Eyjafjall – oh forget it!  Eyjafjallajökull
You’re really a Mom when…
Mother’s Wisdom or Truisms
To Value A Job Well Done
“If you’re going to kill each other, do it outside. I just finished cleaning.”
Time Travel
“If you don’t straighten up, I’m going to knock you into the middle of next week!”
Logic
“Because I said so, that’s why.”
Foresight
“Make sure you wear clean underwear, in case you’re in an accident.”
Irony
“Keep crying and I’ll give you something to cry about.”
Osmosis
“Shut your mouth and eat your supper.”
Stamina
“You’ll sit there until all that spinach is gone.”
Weather
“This room of yours looks as if a tornado went through it.”
Hypocrisy
“If I told you once, I’ve told you a million times. Don’t exaggerate!”
Circle Of Life
“I brought you into this world, and I can take you out.”
Behavior Modification
“Stop acting like your father!”
Envy
“There are millions of less fortunate children in this world who don’t have wonderful parents like you do.”
Anticipation
“Just wait until we get home.”
Receiving
“You are going to get it when you get home!”
Medical Science
“If you don’t stop crossing your eyes, they are going to freeze that way.”
How To Become An Adult
“If you don’t eat your vegetables, you’ll never grow up.”
Genetics
“You’re just like your father.”
Wisdom
“When you get to be my age, you’ll understand.”
Justice
“One day you’ll have kids, and I hope they turn out just like you”