Sony is an official sponsor of FIFA’s 2010 World Cup and they came up with a cute premise for thier new ad ‘Superstar’. It features children playing football in a sold out World Cup stadium. This is the UK version that is currently airing all over Europe.
Category Archives: 1. Funny Email Forwards
Funny “Disorder in the American Courts”
IF YOU’VE EVER BEEN CALLED FOR JURY DUTY…..THEN YOU HAVE TO KNOW THIS IS PRICELESS!Enjoy a good laugh!
These are from a book called Disorder in the American Courts, and are things people actually said in court, word for word, taken down and now published by court reporters that had the torment of staying calm while these exchanges were actually taking place..
______________________________
ATTORNEY: Are you sexually active?
WITNESS: No, I just lie there.
______________________________ ______________
ATTORNEY: This myasthenia gravis, does it affect your memory at all?
WITNESS: Yes.
ATTORNEY: And in what ways does it affect your memory?
WITNESS: I forget.
ATTORNEY: You forget? Can you give us an example of something you forgot?
______________________________ _____________
ATTORNEY: Do you know if your daughter has ever been involved in voodoo?
WITNESS: We both do.
ATTORNEY: Voodoo?
WITNESS: We do.
ATTORNEY: You do?
WITNESS: Yes, voodoo.
______________________________ ______________
ATTORNEY: Now doctor, “isn’t it true that when a person dies in his sleep, he doesn’t know about it until the next morning?”
WITNESS: Did you actually pass the bar exam?
______________________________ ______
ATTORNEY: The youngest son, the twenty-year-old, how old is he?
WITNESS: He’s twenty, much like your IQ.
______________________________ _____________
ATTORNEY: Were you present when your picture was taken?
WITNESS: Are you shitting me?
______________________________ ___________
ATTORNEY: So the date of conception (of the baby) was August 8th?
WITNESS: Yes.
ATTORNEY: And what were you doing at that time?
WITNESS: Getting laid
______________________________ ______________
ATTORNEY: She had three children, right?
WITNESS: Yes.
ATTORNEY: How many were boys?
WITNESS: None.
ATTORNEY: Were there any girls?
WITNESS: Your Honor, I think I need a different attorney.
Can I get a new attorney?
______________________________ ______________
ATTORNEY: How was your first marriage terminated?
WITNESS: By death.
ATTORNEY: And by whose death was it terminated?
WITNESS: Take a guess.
____________ __________________ ______________
ATTORNEY: Can you describe the individual?
WITNESS: He was about 20, medium height, and had a beard.
ATTORNEY: Was this a male or a female?
WITNESS: Unless the Circus was in town I’m going with male.
______________________________ _______
ATTORNEY: Doctor, how many of your autopsies have you performed on dead people?
WITNESS: All of them. The live ones put up too much of a fight.
______________________________ ___________
ATTORNEY: ALL your responses MUST be oral, OK?
What school did you go to?
WITNESS: Oral.
______________________________ ___________
ATTORNEY: Do you recall the time that you examined the body?
WITNESS: The autopsy started around 8:30 p.m.
ATTORNEY: And, Mr. Denton was dead at the time?
WITNESS: If not, he was by the time I finished.
______________________________ ______________
ATTORNEY: Are you qualified to give a urine sample?
WITNESS: Are you qualified to ask that question?
______________________________ ________
And the best for last:
ATTORNEY: Doctor, before you performed the autopsy, did you check for a pulse?
WITNESS: No.
ATTORNEY: Did you check for blood pressure?
WITNESS: No.
ATTORNEY: Did you check for breathing?
WITNESS: No.
ATTORNEY: So, then it is possible that the patient was alive when you began the autopsy?
WITNESS: No .
ATTORNEY: How can you be so sure, Doctor?
WITNESS: Because his brain was sitting on my desk in a jar.
ATTORNEY: I see, but could the patient have still been alive, nevertheless?
WITNESS: Yes, it is possible that he could have been alive and practicing law.
Noah’s Ark Found?
Ministries International ~ not 100 per cent but, we think it is 99.9 per cent
If Noah Built his Ark Today!
A group of Christian researchers claimed on Tuesday they have found the remains of Noah’s Ark, located four kilometres up the side of Turkey’s Mt. Ararat.
The famed mount is the biblical docking point of the vessel, which carried Noah, his family and representatives of all the world’s animals safely while God flooded the Earth. In the Book of Genesis, the ark is said to have come to rest in the “mountains of Ararat.â€
Explorers, adventurers and mystics have sought the ark for centuries, poring over the mountain range which straddles the Turkish border with Armenia.
Now a group called Noah’s Ark Ministries International says they’ve found the ship’s wreckage.
“It’s not 100 per cent that it is Noah’s Ark, but we think it is 99.9 per cent that this is it,†researcher Yeung Wing-Cheung told Agence-France Presse.
The researchers and a film crew have apparently uncovered wooden beams and compartments they say housed the animals. Carbon dating has proven the structure to be 4,800 years old, Yeung said, which gibes with the literal biblical timeline of the flood. He also says the group has ruled out a human settlement at the dig site.
The group is said to have asked Turkish officials to apply to UNESCO so that the excavation can be granted world heritage status while it is explored.
Many explorers have sought the ark. Several have claimed to discover it. None of these claims has been proved out.
DA VINCI CODE EXPLAINED
DA VINCI CODE EXPLAINED
Written across the wall of the cave were the following symbols:
It was considered a unique find and the writings were said to be at least 3000 years old!
The piece of stone was removed, brought to the museum, and archaeologists from around the world came to study the ancient symbols.
They held a huge meeting after months of conferences to discuss the meaning of the markings.
The President of the society pointed to first drawing and said:
“This is a woman. We can see these people held women in high esteem.
You can also tell they were intelligent, as the next symbol is a donkey, so they were smart enough to have animals help them till the soil.
The next drawing is a shovel, which means they had tools to help them..”
Even further proof of their high intelligence is the fish which means that if a famine hit the earth and food didn’t grow, they seek food from the sea.
The last symbol appears to be the Star of David which means they were evidently Hebrews.
The audience applauded enthusiastically.
Then a little old Jewish man stood up in the back of the room and said,
“Idiots…Hebrew is read from right to left… It says: ‘Holy Mackerel, Dig The Ass On That Chick!”
Written across the wall of the cave were the following symbols:
It was considered a unique find and the writings were said to be at least 3000 years old!
The piece of stone was removed, brought to the museum, and archaeologists from around the world came to study the ancient symbols.
They held a huge meeting after months of conferences to discuss the meaning of the markings.
The President of the society pointed to first drawing and said:
“This is a woman. We can see these people held women in high esteem.
You can also tell they were intelligent, as the next symbol is a donkey, so they were smart enough to have animals help them till the soil.
The next drawing is a shovel, which means they had tools to help them..”
Even further proof of their high intelligence is the fish which means that if a famine hit the earth and food didn’t grow, they seek food from the sea.
The last symbol appears to be the Star of David which means they were evidently Hebrews.
The audience applauded enthusiastically.
Then a little old Jewish man stood up in the back of the room and said,
“Idiots…Hebrew is read from right to left… It says: ‘Holy Mackerel, Dig The Ass On That Chick!”
Prince Harry locks himself in loo to escape girls!
No privicy! Should be some crazy pictures of Harry!
| Prince Harry, the third-in-line to the British throne, reportedly locked himself in a toilet after he was chased by a group of frantic girl fans at a club during a night out with his friends. But, the squealing fans followed him into the gents’ toilet, and then climbed up the side of the cubicle he was hiding in to take snaps of him on their mobile phones, the ‘News of the World’ reported.
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