Category Archives: 1. Funny Email Forwards

How to cook an Egg!

4:01pm 4:01 pm / Leave a Comment /

A wife was making fried eggs for her husband for breakfast. Suddenly her husband burst into the kitchen.


“Careful… Careful!!! Put in some more butter! Oh my God! You’re cooking too many at once. Too many! Turn them! Turn them now! We need more butter. Oh my God! Where are we going to get more butter? They’re going to stick! Careful… Careful!!! I said be careful! You never listen to me when you’re cooking! Never! Turn them! Hurry up! Are you crazy? Have you lost your mind? Don’t forget to salt them. You know you always forget to salt them. Use the salt. Use the salt! The salt!”

The wife stared at him and asked, “What the heck is wrong with you? You think I don’t know how to fry a couple of eggs?”

The husband calmly replied, “I wanted to show you what it feels like when I’m driving with you in the car.”

Girl And Boy Driving Car Cartoon Clip Art

and that’s when the fight started…

Posted in: 1. Funny Email Forwards, and that's when the fight started...

Iceland Volcano Natural Disaster -Marriage Joke

3:57pm 3:57 pm / Leave a Comment /

3D Volcano ScreenSaver

Nobody teaches Icelandic volcanoes to erupt,
Floods to arise,
Hurricanes to form,

Nobody teaches how to choose a wife
Natural disasters just happen !!!!!!!!!!


Posted in: 1. Funny Email Forwards, 5. Email Delanteros Humor Interesante

Dubai -World’s largest airport to open on June 27

11:58am 11:58 am / Leave a Comment /

WHY??
Paul Griffiths, CEO of Dubai Airports Co has said that Al Maktoum International will open on June 27, Emirates Business has reported. The company is in advanced talks with airlines, both passenger and cargo, across the globe to start operations from the new airport, he said. The new airport, which will be the largest in the world, is part of the $33bn Dubai World Central (DWC) development in Jebel Ali.



Posted in: 1. Funny Email Forwards

China blasts dumps with deodorant cannon

11:22am 11:22 am / Leave a Comment /

Chinese officials are yet to announce whether they will opt for “original scent” or “alpine rush” ammunition.

Deodorant Cannons Wage War Against Landfill Stench

The deodorant cannon were invented by employees at the Gao’antun Garbage Landfill Plant, in Beijing’s suburbs, after local officials were forced to apologise for the foul smells coming from the dump.

Other devices, such as odour-eating sheets were also brought in, along with a machine that extracts the foul-smelling gases and uses them to generate electricity.

Posted in: 1. Funny Email Forwards

A few funny Pictures

10:56am 10:56 am / Leave a Comment /

Convertable Double Decker busBug backpackBad judgmentChildren in the treeCAUTION Donot drink this water

What's the Score 33all-you-can-eat-rest-stop-highway-tunnel-billboard-funny -1

Important Call

Tough young guy -1

Posted in: 1. Funny Email Forwards, 5. Email Delanteros Humor Interesante

Speeding little old lady!

2:39pm 2:39 pm / Leave a Comment /

Old Lady jokeSitting on the side of the highway waiting to catch speeding drivers, a Police Officer sees a car puttering along at 22 KPH..  Says he to himself: “This driver is just as dangerous as a speeder!” So he turns on his lights and pulls the driver over.  Approaching the car, he notices that there are five old ladies – two in the front seat and three in the back – wide eyed and white as ghosts.

The driver, obviously confused, says to him “Officer, I don’t understand, I was doing exactly the speed limit!  What seems to be the problem?”
“Ma’am,” the officer replies, “you weren’t speeding, but you should know that driving slower than the speed limit can also be a danger to other drivers.”
“Slower than the speed limit?  No sir, I was doing the speed limit exactly…..Twenty-two kilometres an hour!” the old woman says a bit proudly.
The Police officer, trying to contain a chuckle explains to her that 22 is the highway number, not the speed limit.
A bit embarrassed, the woman grins and thanks the officer for pointing out her error.
“But before I let you go, Ma’am, I have to ask…
Is everyone in this car OK?  These women seem awfully shaken, and they haven’t made a peep this whole time,” the officer asks..
“Oh, they’ll be all right in a minute officer.  We just got off Highway 189.”

Posted in: 1. Funny Email Forwards, 4. Old Age or Golden Years Jokes, 5. Email Delanteros Humor Interesante

Funny Iceland Volcano Ash Jokes -New?

10:24am 10:24 am / 1 Comment /

My mother in-law recently returned from Europe. Seems that volcanic ash has little effect on the air travel of a broom.

Witch flies by Animation

What’s the difference between the volcano and Katie Price? Not much, they both just need to keep their tops on….

Well, its either a bird or Superman because its definitely not a plane.

Pilot small Animation

i’m noticing that a lot of people haven’t tried to come up with their own jokes lol. i guess thinking of your own after so many have been done already is like being between a molten rock and a hard place.

Posted in: 1. Funny Email Forwards

Warning to all nations: Don’t mess with Iceland – Joke

10:00am 10:00 am / Leave a Comment /
Don’t mess with Iceland!
“You mess with Iceland?”  “We shut down all your airports.”
Don’t mess with Iceland!
“You mess with Iceland?”  “We shut down all your airports.”
Pilot Animation
Joke On ne plaisante pas avec l’Islande! – “Vous mess avec l’Islande? “Nous avons fermé toutes vos aéroports.”
笑话不要与冰岛搞得一团糟！ – “你陷入困境的冰岛？” “我们关闭所有的机场。”
Vtip Nehrajte si s Islandem! – “Vy jste si s Islandem?” “My vypnout vÅ¡echny vaÅ¡e letiÅ¡tÄ›.”
Joke Don’t mess with Island! – “Du Schlamassel mit Island?”“Wir schließen alle Flughäfen.”
冗談はアイスランドで混乱をしないでください！アイスランド – “あなたは混乱？” “我々がダウンして、すべての空港シャットダウンします。”
मजाक आइसलैंड साथ गंदगी मत करो! – “तुम आइसलैंड के साथ गड़बड़?” “हम अपने सभी हवाई अड्डों को बंद.”
Шутка Не связывайтесь с Исландией! – Ð’Ñ‹ беспорядок с Исландией? ” “Мы закрыли все аэропорты”.
Joke Não mexa com a Islândia! – “Você mexe com a Islândia?“Fechamos todos os seus aeroportos.”
Vitsi Don’t mess with Islanti! – “Te sotku Islannin?” “Me sammuttaa kaikki lentoasemat.”
Joke On ne plaisante pas avec l’Islande! – “Vous mess avec l’Islande? “Nous avons fermé toutes vos aéroports.”
Joke inte röra med Island! – “Du brÃ¥ka med Island?” “Vi stänger alla flygplatser.”
Posted in: 1. Funny Email Forwards

Ready for the Day!

7:03am 7:03 am / Leave a Comment /

Funny emails 2

Posted in: 1. Funny Email Forwards, 4. Old Age or Golden Years Jokes

HOW TO SURVIVE AN ANACONDA ATTACK

6:59am 6:59 am / Leave a Comment /

From a 1970s Peace Corps manual, “How to survive an anaconda attack.”

1. Do not run. The snake is faster than you are.

2. Lie flat on the ground, put your arms tight against your sides and your legs tight against each other.

3. Tuck your chin in.

4. The snake will being to nudge and climb over your body.

5. Do not panic.

6. The snake will begin to swallow your feet first.

7. You must lie perfectly still. This will take a long time.

8. When the snake has reached your knees, reach down, take your knife, slide it into the side of the snake’s mouth between the edge of its mouth and your leg. Quickly rip upward, severing the snake’s head.

9. Be sure you have your knife.

10. Be sure your knife is sharp.anaconda

Posted in: 1. Funny Email Forwards, Uncategorized