In parts of the world, husbands regard their sacrificial virgins as property that apparently can be offered into a volcano at will.
Category Archives: 1. Funny Email Forwards
Volcano Jokes
What did one Volcano say to the other Volcano?
I lava you!
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Not just blowing smoke!
Icelandic Volcano -cute jokes!
Latest joke about the Icelandic banking crisis:
“You’ve heard about Gordon Brown? When he heard about Iceland he wanted cash, but there’s no ‘c’ in the Icelandic language, so we gave him ash.”
*![[smiley=argue.gif]](http://www.tt-forum.co.uk/forum/images/smilies/argue.gif "argue")
The last wish of the Icelandic Economy was to have its ashes spread over Europe.
A man is shopping in a Tesco store in Iceland. When he gets to the till and pays for his shopping the girl behind the till says, “Do you want any ash back?”
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“All this ash cloud talk is going over my head”
What did the Icelandic Volcano say to the earthquake? “It’s not my fault.”
Fly with “Eyjafjallajökull†airlines! Why there’s still no song, cartoon, no souvenir? Such a great name – Mr. Eyjafjallajökull. And his wife Mirdal’sjekjudl’, who is still asleep.
What do you call a cute volcano?
Lavable! (lovable!)
“It’s too early to make jokes about the Icelandic ash cloud… we need to let the dust settle first”
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I see that America has declared war on Iceland. Apparently they are accusing them of harboring a “weapon of mass disruptionâ€â€¦  (contributed by a reader- Thanks)
Iceland only joke!
Q: What do you do if you get lost in an Icelandic forest?
[Pause for dramatic effect]
A: Stand up!
[Ed: Icelandic forests have extremely low trees.]
Europe to Iceland:
Why did you send us volcanic ash ? Our airspace has shut down.
Iceland: What ? That’s what you asked for isn’t it ?
Europe: NO! We said cash! CASH!
Iceland: Woooops…
There is no C in the Icelandic alphabet, so when you ask for Cash, all you get is …
Glasgow airport has been closed after a massive cloud of dust drifted into UK airspace? The cleaner of the Celtic trophy cabinet has now been arrested!
Please add any jokes in the comment box. Thank you
A yellow-bellied marmot pokes its head through a hole in the asphalt in Montana
Just an incredible picture!
Evokes a number of responses: cute, scary, how it got there, etc.
Icelandic Ash- the cause of iPad import delays!!
BREAKING: Volcanic ash cloud halts UK iPad imports
by Ben Smith on 15th April 2010
NATS -the body that manages the UK’s airspace – closed the skies over Britain today in response to ash produced by an erupting volcano in Iceland; the huge cloud, drifting south from the top of the Eyjafjallajoekull glacier, can cause catastrophic failure of jet engines. Meanwhile, hundreds of geeks have been left wondering how long the iPads they had bullied or begged US-based colleagues and friends to send them would be delayed.
Several Twitter commenters suggested this wasn’t the natural phenomenon it appeared to be and was actually part of Apple’s campaign to limit supply to ‘international’ customers until US demand had been satisfied. Others simply recalled the iPhone shortage at launch – also widely considered an attempt to sustain public hunger for Apple’s lusted-after gadget.
Microsoft fans rejected this claim pointing out that Steve Balmer was a far more likely to be behind the emission of huge amounts of hot air and gas, in an attempt to prevent the iPad talk continuing to overshadow the announcement of the 2 ‘Kin’ devices earlier this week.
This afternoon the Metropolitan Police was establishing a care centre at London’s Heathrow airport to offer councelling to distressed would-be iPad owners who have been gathering there throughout the morning to await news of the arrival of their gadgets.
Iceland Volcano Ash Jokes and One liners
Summary of the Icelandic Volcano Eruption:
I nearly blew my top when I heard about the Icelandic Volcano. The news exploded around the world and across the  internet! I thought it was a huge Volcano and the news left me trembling and quaking in my shoes. There were a lot of people spewing false information, and many were just full of hot air.  That funny dude on YouTube, who shouted, “I hate Iceland!â€, was just blowing off steam. Most of the ash cloud talk was going over my head. I especially had trouble trying to pronounce  EyJ -Eyjaf -Eyjafjall – oh forget it!  Eyjafjallajökull
Not only is the volcanic dust cloud disrupting air traffic, it is causing many ashen faces around Europe. I’m so tired of the old Geysir jokes about Ashland! The whole situation is so lavable but most of the jokes have not made me erupt with laughter!
Iceland has taken a lot of criticism. However, let’s clear the air. When the dust settles, we will understand that it wasn’t Iceland’s fault.
Now that Iceland is in the news so much, I wonder if it will become a tourist hotspot!
I just feel plume lucky that I live in Canada!
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FA cup final prediction
Ash-ley Coal scores the winner against Pompeii.
“Experts have warned that it could take years of work by experienced professionals to clean up after the volcano. That’s why Mum’s gone to Iceland.”
Sky News: Emergency services were afraid they could be swamped by a torrent of melted ice.” I believe the technical term is “water”.
| BBC News “Europe faces prolonged air chaos”… Ermmm, how can there be air chaos when we are all stuck on the ground. |
Funny how some on here Blow their top over nothing.
| I woke up this morning to find every surface in the house covered in a layer of dust and a foul stench of sulphur in the air.
No change there then, I’ve been married to the bone idle slob for 20 years.
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UK flights grounded for second day.
Must’ve had strict parents!
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“The last wish of the Icelandic economy was to have its ashes scattered over Europe.”
The ash cloud from a volcano in Iceland that has caused travel chaos across Europe has spawned numerous jokes on various Internet blog sites, Facebook and Twitter.
Iceland is only just emerging from the financial crisis and the North Atlantic island nation of just 320,000 has spent months wrangling with Britain and the Netherlands over debts incurred after its tops banks went under in 2008.
It owes the two countries some $5 billion as a result of its failed “Icesave” accounts, but many Icelanders fiercely oppose a repayment and say taxpayers should not have to pay for a mess left by private banks under the watch of other regulators.
“Icelandic taxpayer to Britons and Dutch: forget Icesave, kiss my ash!” one Twitter feed read.
Is Iceland getting the last word?
Jeremy Warner, assistant editor of The Daily Telegraph, wrote in a blog: “Call it Iceland’s revenge, but it appears there is no more effective a way for a small country to get its own back on a larger one than to have an erupting volcano in its midst.”
No trade embargo, however effective, could compete, he said.
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