An Australian swimwear company has developed the world’s first men’s briefs made from banana plants.

AussieBum spokesman, Lloyd Jones, said the underwear’s fabric is spun from the bark of the banana plant into soft, smooth material that is environmentally sustainable, Cairns.com reports. The fiber, sourced from Asia and knitted together in Brisbane, also is lightweight and offers strong moisture absorption.

Aussiebum previously had success in producing a range of men’s jocks that released residue into the skin to make the wearer feel revitalized, and undies designed to make mens’ packages appear larger through a specially designed pouch used to “separate and stop squashing.”

Jones assured buyers that the new banana briefs are not mushy or squishy and do not smell like bananas. He said some people have been concerned that if they wear them, monkeys might follow them around.

A few dingoes maybe, but no monkeys.

You Gotta Love the Irish‏

Paddy was driving down the street in a sweat because he had an important meeting and couldn’t find a parking place.

Looking up to heaven he said, “Lord take pity on me.   If you find me a parking place I will go to Mass every Sunday for the rest of me life and give up me Irish Whiskey!”

Miraculously, a parking place appeared.

Paddy looked up again and said, “Never mind, I found one.”

MAKE YOUR KITTY A HELMET LIKE THIS GUY DID WITH A LIME!

Check out this site for more When Life Hands You Lemons:

http://whenlifehandsulemons.blogspot.com/

************

Little Johnny’s kindergarten teacher was trying to teach the children to “people talk”.

She asked Joey, What did you do on the weekend?”

Joey replied, ” I went to see Nana”.

“No.” the teacher said,”You went to see your Grandma. That’s people talk. Bobby, What did you do on the weekend?”

Bobby replied, ” I went for a ride on the choochoo.” No, you went for a ride on the train.”

“Little Johnny, what did you do on the weekend?”

He replied, “I stayed home and read a book.”

“That’s nice, what was the name of the book?”

Little Johnny thought for a while and then said,

“Winnie the Shit!”

*

Click on the following for many more

Little Johnny Jokes

http://littlejohnnyjokesinc.blogspot.com/

THE NEXT SURVIVOR SERIES
Six married men will be dropped on an island with one car and 3 kids each for six weeks.

Each kid will play two sports and take either music or dance classes.

There is no fast food.

Each man musttake care of his 3 kids;
keep his assigned house clean,
correct all homework,
complete science projects,
cook,
do laundry,
and pay a list of ‘pretend’ bills
with not enough money.

In addition,each man
will have to budget enough money
for groceries each week.

Each man
must remember the birthdays
of all their friends and relatives,
and send cards out on time–no emailing.

Each man must also take each child
to a doctor’s appointment,
a dentist appointment
and a haircut appointment.

He must make one unscheduled and
inconvenient visit per child to the Emergency Room.

He must also make cookies or cupcakes
for a school function.

Each man will be responsible for
decorating his own assigned house,
planting flowers outside, and keeping it
presentable at all times.

The men will only have access to television when the kids are asleep and all chores are done.

The men must shave their legs,

wear makeup daily,

adorn themselves with jewelry,

wear uncomfortable yet stylish shoes,

keep fingernails polished,

and eyebrows groomed

During one of the six weeks,

the men will have to endure severe
abdominal cramps, backaches, headaches,
have extreme, unexplained mood swings
but never once complain or slow down
from other duties.

They must attend weekly school meetingsand church,
and find time at least once to spend
the afternoon at the park or a similar
setting.

They will need to read a book to the kids each nightand in the morning,feed them,dress them,
brush their teeth and
comb their hair
by 7:30 am.

A test will be givenat the end of the six weeks,and each father will be required to knowall of the following information:
each child’s
birthday,
height, weight,
shoe size, clothes size,
doctor’s name,
the child’s weight at birth,
length, time of birth,
and length of labor,
each child’s favorite color,
middle name,
favorite snack,
favorite song,
favorite drink,
favorite toy,
biggest fear,
and what they want to be when they grow up.

The kids vote them off the island based on performance.

The last man wins only if…
he still
has enough energy
to be intimate with his spouse
at a moment’s notice.

If the last man does win,
he can play the game over and over and over
again for the next 18-25 years,
eventually earning the right
to be called Mother!

After you get done laughing,
send this to as many females as
you think will get a kick out of it and
as many men as you think can handle it.
Just don’t send it back to me….
I’m going to bed.