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Category Archives: 4. Old Age Or Golden Years Jokes
Being OLD! Inspirational Poem and Story
When  an old man died in the geriatric ward of a  nursing home in North Platte , Nebraska , it was  believed that he had nothing left of any  value.
Later, when the nurses were going  through his meager possessions, they found this  poem. Its quality and content so impressed the  staff that copies were made and distributed to  every nurse in the hospital. One nurse took her  copy to Missouri .
The  old man’s sole bequest to posterity has since  appeared in the Christmas edition of the News  Magazine of the St. Louis Association for Mental  Health. A slide presentation has also been made  based on his simple, but eloquent,  poem.
And this little old man, with  nothing left to give to the world, is now the  author of this ‘anonymous’ poem winging across  the Internet.
Crabby  Old Man
What  do you see nurses? . . . .. . What do you  see?
What are you thinking . . . . . when  you’re looking at me?
A crabby old man . . . Â . . not very wise,
Uncertain of habit . . . . Â . with faraway eyes?
Who dribbles his  food . . . . . and makes no reply.
When you  say in a loud voice . . . . . ‘I do wish you’d  try!’
Who seems not to notice . . . . . the  things that you do.
And forever is losing . . Â . . . A sock or shoe?
Who, resisting or  not . . . . . lets you do as you will,
With  bathing and feeding . . . . . The long day to  fill?
Is that what you’re thinking? . . . . . Â Is that what you see?
Then open your eyes,  nurse . . . . . you’re not looking at  me.
I’ll tell you who I am. . . . . . As  I sit here so still,
As I do at your bidding, Â . . . . . as I eat at your will.
I’m a small  child of Ten . . . . . with a father and  mother,
Brothers and sisters . . . . . who  love one another.
A young boy of Sixteen  . . . . with wings on his feet.
Dreaming that  soon now . . . . . a lover he’ll meet.
A  groom soon at Twenty . . . . . my heart gives a  leap.
Remembering, the vows . . . . . that I Â promised to keep.
At Twenty-Five, now . . Â . . . I have young of my own.
Who need me to  guide . . . . . And a secure happy home.
A  man of Thirty . . . . . My young now grown  fast,
Bound to each other . . . . . With ties  that should last.
At Forty, my young sons  . . . . . have grown and are gone,
But my  woman’s beside me . . . . . to see I don’t  mourn.
At Fifty, once more, babies play  ’round my knee,
Again, we know children . . . Â . . My loved one and me.
Dark days are  upon me . . . . . my wife is now dead.
I look  at the future . . . . . shudder with  dread.
For my young are all rearing . . . . . Â young of their own.
And I think of the years  . . . . . and the love that I’ve  known.
I’m now an old man . . . . . and  nature is cruel.
Tis jest to make old age . . Â . . . look like a fool.
The body, it crumbles  . . . . . grace and vigor, depart.
There is  now a stone . . . . where I once had a  heart.
But inside this old carcass . . . Â . . a young guy still dwells,
And now and  again . . . . . my battered heart swells.
I  remember the joys . . . . . I remember the  pain.
And I’m loving and living . . . . . Â life over again.
I think of the years, Â all too few . . . . . gone too fast.
And  accept the stark fact . . . . that nothing can  last.
So open your eyes, people . . . . . Â open and see.
Not a crabby old man . . . Look  closer . . . see ME!!
Remember  this poem when you next meet  an  older person who you might brush  aside  without  looking at the young soul within.
We  will all, one day, be there, too!
PLEASE Â SHARE THIS POEM
The best and  most beautiful things of  this  world can’t be seen or touched.
They  must be felt by the heart.
A prayer for the Golden Years
A Prayer for the Golden Years
God, grant me the senility to forget the people I never liked anyway,
The good fortune to run into the ones that I do,
And the eyesight to tell the difference.
Getting old
Getting old when
You know you’re getting older when…
Everything that works hurts, and what doesn’t hurt doesn’t work.
You feel like the morning after, and you haven’t been anywhere.
Your little black book only contains names ending in M.D.
Your children are beginning to look middle-aged.
Your mind makes contracts your body can’t keep.
You look forward to a dull evening.
Your knees buckle and your belt won’t.
Your back goes out more than you do.
You sink your teeth into a steak, and they stay there.
You know all the answers, but nobody asks the questions.
Hope he has a Hands Free phone!
Automotive horror
As a senior citizen was driving down the freeway, his car phone rang. Answering, he heard his wife’s voice urgently warning him, “Herman, I just heard on the news that there’s a car going the wrong way on 280. Please be careful!”
“Heck,” said Herman, “It’s not just one car. It’s hundreds of them!”
Forgetful Getting Older Joke
I am not forgetful
Three ladies were discussing the travails of getting older. One said, “Sometimes I catch myself with a jar of mayonnaise in my hand, while standing in front of the refrigerator, and I can’t remember whether I need to put it away, or start making a sandwich.”
The second lady chimed in with, “Yes, sometimes I find myself on the landing of the stairs and can’t remember whether I was on my way up or on my way down.”
The third one responded, ” Well, ladies, I’m glad I don’t have that problem. Knock on wood,” as she rapped her knuckles on the table, and then said, “That must be the door, I’ll get it!”
Modern Granny Poem
Grandma changed
In the dim and distant past
When life’s tempo wasn’t so fast,
Grandma used to rock and knit,
Crochet, tat and baby sit.
When the kids were in a jam,
They could always call on Gram.
But today she’s in the gym
Exercising to keep slim.
She’s checking the web or surfing the net,
Sending some e-mail or placing a bet.
Nothing seems to stop or block her,
Now that Grandma’s off her rocker.
Brazilian Grannies Beauty Contest