Category Archives: 4. Old Age Or Golden Years Jokes

An old man was in his golden years, but that didn’t stop him from

trying to pick up the younger ladies. He went to the local bar,

approached a very young and pretty woman and said, “Where have you

been all my life?”

The young lady takes one glance at him and says, “For the first half

of it, I wasn’t even born yet.”

DINNER WITH THE SOCCER MOMS

A group of 40 year old soccer moms discussed where they should meet
for dinner. Finally it was agreed upon that they should meet at the
Ocean View restaurant because the waiters there had tight pants and
nice buns.

10 years later at 50 years of age, the group once again discussed
where they should meet for dinner. Finally it was agreed that they
should meet at the Ocean View restaurant because the food there was
very good and the wine selection was good also.

10 years later at 60 years of age, the group once again discussed
where
they should meet for dinner. Finally it was agreed that they should
meet at the Ocean View restaurant because they could eat there in
peace and quiet and the restaurant had a beautiful view of the
ocean.

10 years later, at 70 years of age, the group once again discussed
where they should meet for dinner. Finally it was agreed that they
should meet at the Ocean View restaurant because the restaurant was
wheelchair Accessible and they even had an elevator.

10 years later, at 80 years of age, the group once again discussed
where they should meet for dinner. Finally it was agreed that they
should meet at the Ocean View restaurant because they had never been
there before.

OLD SOCCER PLAYERS never die, they just achieve their final goal.

OLD SOCCER PLAYERS never die, they just lose their kick.

A man went off to a football match one Saturday afternoon, and while he was away his wife was ‘visited by a ‘friend’ who just happened to be jogging past her house and was dressed in shorts and singlet.

The wife was happily entertaining him on the sofa when suddenly they heard her husband coming through the front door.

Quick as a flash, the visitor hid behind the large television set in the corner.

The husband came in and said…

‘It’s started to pour with rain so I thought I’d come home and watch the second half on telly.’

He switched on the television and settled down to watch the game. After about twenty minutes the wife’s visitor started to get severe cramp so, casting caution to the winds, he calmly got up from behind the set and walked out of the room.

The husband turned to his wife and said…

‘That’s funny – I didn’t see the ref send him off.’

The French manager at the 2010 World Cup in South Africa won’t stand for any nonsense. Last Saturday he caught a couple of fans climbing over the stadium wall.

He was furious. He grabbed them by the collars and said,

“Now you just get back in there and watch the game till it finishes.”

New Wine for Seniors

I  kid you not….
New Wine  for Seniors

California vintners in the Napa Valley area, which primarily produce Pinot  Blanc, Pinot Noir and Pinot Grigio wines, have developed a new  hybrid grape that acts as an anti-diuretic.
It is expected  to reduce the number of trips older people have to make to the  bathroom during the night.

The new wine will be marketed as

PINO MORE

I  HEARD IT THROUGH THE GRAPEVINE
I  just could not help it.

PASSAGE OF TIME LEAVES OUT NO ONE !!!

Seeing these pictures made me feel better!

Ian Torpe

Val Kilmer

Mickey Rourke

Brendan Fraser

More after the break

Russel Crowe

Alec Baldwin

Richard Gere

Roger Moore

Arnold Schwarzenegger

Pierce Brosnan

Clint Eastwood

Rod Stewart

ARE YOU FEELING BETTER TOO???

Take care.

Memory’s Going
An eighty year old couple were having problems remembering things, so they decided to go to their doctor to make sure nothing was wrong with them. When they arrived at the doctor’s office, they explained to the doctor about the problems they were having with their memory.
After checking the couple out, the doctor told them that they were physically okay but might want to start writing things down, making notes to help them remember things. The couple thanked the doctor and left.
Later that night while watching TV, the old man got up from his chair and his wife asked, “Where are you going?”
He replied, “To the kitchen.”
She asked, “Will you get me a bowl of ice cream?”
“Sure.”
Then his wife asked him, “Don’t you think you should write it down so you can remember it?”
“No, I can remember that.”
“Well, I also would like some strawberries on top. You had better write that down cause I know you’ll forget that,” his wife said.
“I can remember that, you want a bowl of ice cream with strawberries.”
She replied, “Well, I also would like whipped cream on top. I know you will forget that. You had better write it down.”
With irritation in his voice, he said, “I don’t need to write that down, I can remember that.” He went into the kitchen.
After about 20 minutes, he returned from the kitchen and handed her a plate of bacon and eggs.
She stared at the plate for a moment and said, “You forgot my toast.”

Now, finally a computer error message I can understand.