Category Archives: 4. Old Age Or Golden Years Jokes

Here’s something to think about.

I recently picked a new primary care doctor. After two visits and exhaustive Lab tests, he said I was doing “fairly well” for my age.

A little concerned about that comment, I couldn’t resist asking him, “Do you think I’ll live to be 80?”

He asked, “Do you smoke tobacco, or drink beer or wine?”

“Oh no,” I replied. “I’m not doing drugs, either!”

Then he asked, “Do you eat rib-eye steaks and barbecued ribs?”

I said, “No, my former doctor said that all red meat is very unhealthy!”

“Do you spend a lot of time in the sun, like playing golf, sailing, hiking, or bicycling?”

“No, I don’t,” I said.

He asked, “Do you gamble, drive fast cars, or have a lot of sex?”

“No,” I said

He looked at me and said,….

‘Then, why do you even give a crap?

A man came to visit his grandparents, and he noticed his grandfather sitting on the porch, in the rocking chair, wearing only a shirt, with nothing on from the waist down.

“Grandpa, what are you doing? Your weenie is out in the wind for everyone to see!” he exclaimed. The old man looked off in the distance without answering.

“Grandpa, what are you doing sitting out here with nothing on below the waist?” he asked again.

The old man slowly looked at him and said “Well…last week I sat out here with no shirt on, and I got a stiff neck. This is your grandma’s idea.

A Polish great-grandmother is facing three years in jail for riding her bicycle drunk.

Keystyna Patycka of Kopacz was stopped by police for weaving from one side of the road to the other on her way to local shops, theRomanian Times reports.

The 75-year-old was immediately banned from riding her bike by officers after ignoring a series of private cautions. She now faces drinking and driving charges which could land her in jail for three years if found guilty.

Patycka said all she had to drink was “one bottle of beer …”

Several times a day.

Interesting From Nielson Ratings

SUMMARY: Understanding shopping and media habits at different ages can help marketers optimize critical assortment, pricing, promotion and advertising decisions by crafting targeted strategies and niche offers that reflect deal propensity, trip frequency, channel predilection, average spend and media usage.

• Greatest Generation: born prior to 1946 (64 + years of age in 2009)

• Boomers: 1946 – 1964 (45 to 63)

• Gen X: 1965 – 1976 (33 to 44)

• Millennials: 1977 – 1994 (15 to 32)

Click on the following for many more Jokes for

The Golden Years

http://goldenyearshumor.blogspot.com/

There is more money being spent on breast implants and Viagra today than on Alzheimer’s research.
This means that by 2040 there should be a large elderly population with perky b**bs and huge erections and absolutely no recollection of what to do with them!