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Nov
22

Beware the sound of silence !!!! (Beware of TRUMP!!!)

John on November 22nd, 2018

Beware the sound of silence !!!! and (Beware of TRUMP!!!)

 

Sarah was in the fertilized egg business.     She had several hundred young pullets and ten roosters to fertilize the eggs. She kept records and any rooster not performing went into the soup pot and was replaced. This took a lot of time, so she bought some tiny bells and attached them to her roosters.

 

Each bell had a different tone, so she could tell from a distance which rooster was performing. Now, she could sit on the porch and fill out an efficiency report by just listening to the bells.

Sarah’s favorite rooster, old Butch, was a very fine specimen but, this morning she noticed old Butch’s bell hadn’t rung at all!  When she went to investigate, she saw the other roosters were busy chasing pullets, bells-a-ringing, but the pullets hearing the roosters coming, would run for cover.

To Sarah’s amazement, old Butch had his bell in his beak, so it couldn’t ring.     He’d sneak up on a pullet, do his job, and walk on to the next one.


Sarah was so proud of old Butch, she entered him in a Show and he became an overnight sensation among the judges.


The result was the judges not only awarded old Butch the “No Bell Peace Prize” they also awarded him the “Pulletsurprise” as well.


Clearly old Butch was a politician in the making.  Who else but a politician could figure out how to win two of the most coveted awards on our planet by being the best at sneaking up on the unsuspecting populace and screwing them when they weren’t paying attention?

 

Vote carefully in the next election. You can’t always hear the bells.

Chicken Trump

 

(If you don’t send this on, you’re chicken     ……     no yolk! )

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Nov
20

The Irish See Things As They Are⁩ or The Irish See Trump As He Is

John on November 20th, 2018
The Irish See Things As They Are⁩ or The Irish See Trump As He Is
Father O’Malley rose from his bed one morning. It was a fine spring day in
his new Washington D.C. Parish. He walked to the window of his bedroom to get a deep breath of the beautiful day outside.
He then noticed there was . . .  A donkey lying dead in the middle of his front lawn.
He promptly called the White House.  The conversation went like this:
“Good morning. This is Donald Trump, How might I help you?”
“And the best of the day te yerself.  This is Father O’Malley at St. Ann’s
Catholic Church. There’s a donkey lying dead in me front lawn and would ye be so kind as to send a couple o’yer lads to take care of the matter?”
Trump, considering himself to be quite a wit and recognizing the Irish
accent, thought he would have a little fun with the good father, and
replied, “Well now Father, it was always my impression that you people
took care of the last rites!”
There was dead silence on the line for a moment . . . Father O’Malley then
replied:  “Aye,’ tis certainly true; but we are also obliged to call the
next of kin first – which is the reason for me call.”

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Oct
27

Snowbirds and US Immigration

John on October 27th, 2018

Letter to the Editor in Kelowna’s paper this morning.

As many of us contemplate some time in warmer climes – this comes in – hot off the press.   Something to think about.   Them is sending the military to another border – hope you get across before they decide to militarize the border you hope to cross….travel well – wherever you may go.
 
 

Subject: FW: Letter to the Editor in Kelowna’s paper this morning.

Snowbirds amassing at U.S. border

Dear Editor:

A White House senior aide has disclosed that the sheer number of retired Canadians amassing along the northern border is creating consternation amongst top State Department and the Department of Homeland Security. Experts anticipate that half a million of these snowbirds will migrate to the U.S. over the next month, dwarfing the immigrant caravan crossing Mexico, and placing undue stress on the quality of life for many Americans, while posing a growing security threat.

“It’s too much,” lamented the anonymous aide. “It’s a struggle for citizens in Florida, Arizona and California to find a tee time, the pickleball courts are full and God help you if you want to find a parking spot at an outlet shopping mall. My parents tried to register for a ukulele festival in Sedona and couldn’t get in because of all the Canadians.”

Evidence collected last winter raised concerns that the normally reserved Canadians are exhibiting more uncivilized behaviour these days.

“We have reports that Canadians were telling jokes about our president. And across the southern US, pot-bellied over-the-hill Canadians in pastel golf shirts would walk into bars in the late afternoon, demanding $2.50 for highballs and a buck and a half for a beer, proclaiming that happy hour, happy hour was here. Like they were tragically hip or something.”

The aide was asked if anxiety surrounding the Canadian caravan permeated the White House.

“Look, I can’t speak for everyone here, but we love Canadians – Conrad Black, the Reichmann family, Pamela Anderson. We love poutine. We are generous patrons of Canadian culture, especially the Montreal cabaret scene. But we cannot ignore the burden this influx of Canadians places on us.”

The security concerns are heightened by Canada’s recent decision to legalize recreational marijuana. U.S. officials are wary of baby boomer potheads bringing their debauched drug habits over the border.

“It seems they’ve all been told to say the same thing to our immigration officers,” said the aide. “When they ask Canadians if they have ever consumed marijuana, they get this apathetic stare and the standard response, ‘Who me? Uh, no officer. It’s a travesty, this legalization thing.’

“We’ve searched luggage and repeatedly found boxes of instant brownie mix hidden under lumberjack coats, but there’s nothing we can do.”

The Canadian snowbirds want to ensure that empathetic Americans understand their plight. One traveller going through US immigration at the Calgary airport with a detection dog sniffing at his privates put it this way: “We sacrifice a lot leaving our homeland each winter —Caesars, people saying ‘your welcome’ instead of ‘uh-huh,’ 24/7 coverage of the Leafs on TSN. But you must realize that we suffer from a brutally oppressive environmental regime. We have to seek seasonal asylum in your country.”

This is expected to become a pivotal issue in the run-up to the U.S. mid-term elections. Canadians are advised to slip over the border while they still can.

Tim Simard, West Kelowna

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Oct
18

Santa Claus, Canada and Marijuana

John on October 18th, 2018

Continue reading about Santa Claus, Canada and Marijuana

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Oct
18

Toronto Maple Leafs and Marijuana Logo

John on October 18th, 2018

Toronto Maple Leafs and Marijuana Logo

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Sep
5

Even Dr. Seuss Hates Trump

John on September 5th, 2018

Continue reading about Even Dr. Seuss Hates Trump

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Sep
5

Trump is a Joke

John on September 5th, 2018

Trump is a joke. Shame on the Republicans.

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Jul
24

How Crazy is TRUMP

John on July 24th, 2018

Trump: Crazy as…

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Jul
24

TRUMP LYING

John on July 24th, 2018

Best lier ever

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Feb
14

Best Explanation of BITCOIN

John on February 14th, 2018

I certainly agree that this is the best explanation of BITCOIN

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Not long ago in a merchant found that a lot of monkeys lived near a certain village.

One day he came to the village saying he wanted to buy these monkeys!

He announced that he will buy the monkeys at $100 each. 

The villagers thought that this man must be crazy- how can somebody buy stray monkeys at $100 each?

Still, some people caught some monkeys and gave it to this merchant and he gave $100 for each monkey. 

This news spread like wildfire and people caught monkeys and sold them to the merchant.

After a few days, the merchant announced that he will buy monkeys at $200 each. 

The lazy villagers also ran around to catch the remaining monkeys!

They sold the remaining monkeys at $200 each.

Then the merchant then announced that he will buy monkeys @ $500 each!

The villagers start to lose sleep! … They caught six or seven monkeys, which was all that was left and got $500 each.

The villagers were waiting anxiously for the next announcement.

Then the merchant announced that he is going on holiday for a week but when he returns, he will buy monkeys at $1000 each!

He said that his employee would to take care of the monkeys he bought pending his return. 

The merchant went on holiday!

The villagers were frantic and very sad as there were no more monkeys left for them to sell it at $1000 each.

Then the merchant’s employee contacted them and told them that he would secretly sell them some monkeys at $700 each. 

This news spread like fire. Since the merchant buys monkey at $1000 each, they would achieve a $300 profit for each monkey.

The next day, villagers queued up near the monkey cage.

The employee sold all the monkeys at $700 each. The rich bought monkeys in large lots. The poor borrowed money from money lenders and bought monkeys!

The villagers took care of their monkeys & waited for the merchant to return. 

But nobody came! … Then they ran to the employee…

But he too could not be found!

The villagers then realised that they have bought the useless stray monkeys at $700 each and were now unable to sell them!

 

This monkey business is now known as Bitcoin! 

It will make a lot of people bankrupt and a very few people filthy rich in this monkey business.

This really is the best explanation of BITCOIN

Continue reading about Best Explanation of BITCOIN

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