Dear Wife:
Iâ€
These last two weeks have been hell. Your boss called to tell me that you quit your job today and that was the last straw.
Last week, you came home and didnâ€
Either youâ€
Your EX-Husband
P.S. Donâ€
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Dear Ex-Husband,
Nothing has made my day more than receiving your letter. Itâ€
I watch my soaps so much because they drown out your constant whining and griping. Too bad that doesnâ€
I did notice when you got a hair cut last week, but the first thing that came to mind was “You look just like a girl!” Since my mother raised me not to say anything if you canâ€
And when you cooked my favorite meal, you must have gotten me confused with MY SISTER, because I stopped eating pork seven years ago.
About those new silk boxers: I turned away from you because the $49.99 price tag was still on them, and I prayed that it was a coincidence that my sister had just borrowed fifty dollars from me that morning.
After all of this, I still loved you and felt that we could work it out. So when I hit the lotto for ten million dollars, I quit my job and bought us two tickets to Jamaica. But when I got home you were gone. Everything happens for a reason, I guess.
I hope you have the fulfilling life you always wanted. My lawyer said that the letter you wrote ensures you wonâ€
Signed,
Your Ex-Wife, Rich As Heck and Free!
P.S. I donâ€