1.  Two times a week we go to a nice restaurant, have a little beverage, good food and companionship.  She goes on Tuesdays; I go on Fridays.
2.  We also sleep in separate beds.  Hers is  in California ,  and mine is in Texas .
3. Â I take my wife everywhere, but she keeps finding her way back.
4.  I asked my wife where she wanted to go for our anniversary.  â€Somewhere I havenâ€t been in a long time!†she said.  So I suggested the kitchen.
5. Â We always hold hands. If I let go, she shops.
6. Â She has an electric blender, electric toaster and electric bread maker.
She said ‘There are too many gadgets, and no place to sit down!†So, I bought her an electric chair.
7.  My wife told me the car wasnâ€t running well because there was water in the carburetor.   I asked where the car was. She told me,  â€In the lake.â€
8. Â She got a mud pack, and looked great for two days. Â Then the mud fell off.
9.  She ran after the garbage truck, yelling, ‘Am I too late for the garbage?†The driver said, ‘No, jump in!â€
10. Â Remember: Marriage is the number one cause of divorce.
11.  I married Miss Right. I just didnâ€t know her first name was Always.
12.  I havenâ€t spoken to my wife in 18 months.   I donâ€t like to interrupt her.
13.  The last fight was my fault though.  My wife asked, ‘Whatâ€s on the TV?â€
