Jun
25
John on June 25th, 2010
An old man was in his golden years, but that didn’t stop him from
trying to pick up the younger ladies. He went to the local bar,
approached a very young and pretty woman and said, “Where have you
been all my life?â€
The young lady takes one glance at him and says, “For the first half
of it, I wasn’t even born yet.â€
An old man was in his golden years, but that didn’t stop him from
trying to pick up the younger ladies. He went to the local bar,
approached a very young and pretty woman and said, “Where have you
been all my life?â€
The young lady takes one glance at him and says, “For the first half
of it, I wasn’t even born yet.â€
Jun
25
John on June 25th, 2010
WIMBLEDON, England — Isner did not have a single ace. Quite incredible after having 112 during his marathon Match against Nicolas Mahut.
The Wimbledon marathon man looked weary from the outset Friday, required treatment for a neck injury and was beaten by unseeded Thiemo de Bakker 6-0, 6-3, 6-2.
Isner received a standing ovation when he walked onto court. He immediately lost his serve — something that didn’t happen once in his 70-68 fifth set against Mahut.
Isner also pulled out of the doubles match after his loss.
Most Impressive was Mahut’s class act after losing the longest match in Tennis History. What stood out, was that he served from behind 69 times!!!
Officials asked him to stay on the court for special awards and publicity for Wimbledon. Mahut was obviously very upset but he acted with grace and dignity. His actions and performance will be remembered for many years to come.
Jun
24
World Cup 2010 How things have changed. Italy (former Champs) and France (finalists) in 2006, out!!!
John on June 24th, 2010
2006 World Cup:
The tournament was won by Italy, who claimed their fourth World Cup title. They defeated France 5–3 in a penalty shootout in the final, after extra time had finished in a 1–1 draw. Germany defeated Portugal 3–1 to finish third.
Jun
24
John on June 24th, 2010
Slovakia survived a late onslaught to beat Italy 3-2, reach the Round of 16 and eliminate their illustrious opponents.
We are SAFE Italy is OUT!
Group F
Team MP W D L GF GA Pts
Paraguay 3 1 2 0 3 1 5
Slovakia 3 1 1 1 4 5 4
New Zealand 3 0 3 0 2 2 3
Italy 3 0 2 1 4 5 2
| Team | MP | W | D | L | GF | GA | Pts |
 Paraguay |
3 | 1 | 2 | 0 | 3 | 1 | 5 |
 Slovakia |
3 | 1 | 1 | 1 | 4 | 5 | 4 |
 New Zealand |
3 | 0 | 3 | 0 | 2 | 2 | 3 |
 Italy |
3 | 0 | 2 | 1 | 4 | 5 | 2 |
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Reporters Koster and Jojanneke of the Dutch daily newspaper Dagblad De Pers demonstrate while holding a sign during the match between Netherlands and Japan in Durban. The pair were demonstrating for the release of “Bavaria-girl” Barbara, who was arrested on suspicion of an “ambush marketing” stunt by brewer Bavaria, at a match between the Netherlands and Denmark at Soccer City stadium on June 14
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Teacher: I told you to stand at the end of the line?
Pupil: I tried, but there was someone already there!
Teacher: I told you to stand at the end of the line?
Little Johnny: I tried, but there was someone already there!
Teacher: How can you make so many mistakes in just one day?
Little Johnny: I get up early!
Teacher: You aren’t paying attention to me. Are you having trouble hearing?
Little Johnny: No, teacher I’m having trouble listening!
Teacher: Why can’t you ever answer any of my questions?
Little Johnny: Well if I could there wouldn’t be much point in me being here!
you have no time for a life from August to June.
you want to slap the next person who says, “Must be nice to work from 8 to 3 and have your summers free!”
when out in public you feel the urge to talk to strange children and correct their behavior.
you refer to adults as “boys and girls.”
you encourage your spouse by telling them they are a “good helper.”
you’ve ever had your profession slammed by someone who would never dream of doing your job.
meeting a child’s parents instantly answers the question, “Why is this kid like this?”
you believe “extremely annoying” should have its own box on the report card.
you know hundred good reasons for being late.
you don’t want children of your own because there isn’t a name you can hear that wouldn’t elevate your blood pressure.
you have no time for a life from August to June.
you want to slap the next person who says, “Must be nice to work from 8 to 3 and have your summers free!”
when out in public you feel the urge to talk to strange children and correct their behavior.
you refer to adults as “boys and girls.”
you encourage your spouse by telling them they are a “good helper.”
you’ve ever had your profession slammed by someone who would never dream of doing your job.
meeting a child’s parents instantly answers the question, “Why is this kid like this?”
you believe “extremely annoying” should have its own box on the report card.
you know hundred good reasons for being late.
you don’t want children of your own because there isn’t a name you can hear that wouldn’t elevate your blood pressure.
Dept of Statistics:
All grades are plotted along the normal bell curve.
Dept of Psychology:
Students are asked to blot ink in their exam books, close them and turn them in. The professor opens the books and assigns the first grade that comes to mind.
Dept of History:
All students get the same grade they got last year.
Dept of Religion:
Grade is determined by God.
Dept of Philosophy:
What is a grade?
Law School:
Students are asked to defend their position of why they should receive an A.
Dept of Logic:
If and only if the student is present for the final and the student has accumulated a passing grade then the student will receive an A else the student will not receive an A.
Dept of Computer Science:
Random number generator determines grade.
Music Department:
Each student must figure out his grade by listening to the instructor play the corresponding note (+ and – would be sharp and flat respectively).
Dept of Physical Education:
Everybody gets an A.