John on July 31st, 2017

Old Age Humor

The Association of Retired People

Questions and Answers from a recent Forum

Q: Where can single men over the age of 70 find younger women who are interested in them? A: Try a bookstore, under Fiction.
Q: What can a man do while his wife is going through menopause? A: Keep busy. If you’re handy with tools, you can finish the basement. When you’re done, you will have a place to live.
Q: Someone has told me that menopause is mentioned in the bible… Is that true? 
Where can it be found?
A: Yes. Matthew 14:92: 
“And Mary rode Joseph’s ass all the way to Egypt…”
Q: How can you increase the heart rate of your over-70 year-old husband? A: Tell him you’re pregnant.
Q: How can you avoid that terrible curse of the elderly wrinkles? A: Take off your glasses.
Q: Seriously! What can I do for these crow’s feet and all those wrinkles on my face? A: Go braless. It will usually pull them out..
Q: Why should 70 plus year old people use valet parking? A: Valets don’t forget where they park your car.
Q: Is it common for 70-plus year olds to have problems with short term memory storage? A: Storing memory is not a problem; retrieving it is the problem.
Q: As people age, do they sleep more soundly? A: Yes, but usually in the afternoon.
Q: Where should 70-plus year olds look for eye glasses? A: On their foreheads.
Q: What is the most common remark made by 70-plus year olds when they enter antique stores? A: “Gosh, I remember these!”
SMILE, You’ve still got your sense of humor!


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