John on February 14th, 2018

I certainly agree that this is the best explanation of BITCOIN








Not long ago in a merchant found that a lot of monkeys lived near a certain village.

One day he came to the village saying he wanted to buy these monkeys!

He announced that he will buy the monkeys at $100 each. 

The villagers thought that this man must be crazy- how can somebody buy stray monkeys at $100 each?

Still, some people caught some monkeys and gave it to this merchant and he gave $100 for each monkey. 

This news spread like wildfire and people caught monkeys and sold them to the merchant.

After a few days, the merchant announced that he will buy monkeys at $200 each. 

The lazy villagers also ran around to catch the remaining monkeys!

They sold the remaining monkeys at $200 each.

Then the merchant then announced that he will buy monkeys @ $500 each!

The villagers start to lose sleep! … They caught six or seven monkeys, which was all that was left and got $500 each.

The villagers were waiting anxiously for the next announcement.

Then the merchant announced that he is going on holiday for a week but when he returns, he will buy monkeys at $1000 each!

He said that his employee would to take care of the monkeys he bought pending his return. 

The merchant went on holiday!

The villagers were frantic and very sad as there were no more monkeys left for them to sell it at $1000 each.

Then the merchant’s employee contacted them and told them that he would secretly sell them some monkeys at $700 each. 

This news spread like fire. Since the merchant buys monkey at $1000 each, they would achieve a $300 profit for each monkey.

The next day, villagers queued up near the monkey cage.

The employee sold all the monkeys at $700 each. The rich bought monkeys in large lots. The poor borrowed money from money lenders and bought monkeys!

The villagers took care of their monkeys & waited for the merchant to return. 

But nobody came! … Then they ran to the employee…

But he too could not be found!

The villagers then realised that they have bought the useless stray monkeys at $700 each and were now unable to sell them!


This monkey business is now known as Bitcoin! 

It will make a lot of people bankrupt and a very few people filthy rich in this monkey business.

This really is the best explanation of BITCOIN

Continue reading about Best Explanation of BITCOIN

John on January 24th, 2018

British pet ads,,,,,,and a little something extra for you teachers 

These are classified ads, which were actually placed in U.K. Newspapers:
8 years old,
Hateful little bastard.

1/2 Cocker Spaniel, 1/2 sneaky neighbor’s dog.

Mother is a Kennel Club registered German Shepherd.
Father is a Super Dog, able to leap tall fences in a single bound.


Also 1 gay bull for sale.

Must sell washer and dryer £100.

Worn once by mistake.
Call Stephanie.

**** And the WINNER is… ****


Complete set of Encyclopedia Britannica, 45 volumes.
Excellent condition, £200 or best offer. No longer needed, got married, wife knows everything.

Statement of the Century
Thought from the Greatest Living Scottish Thinker–Billy Connolly.
  “If women are so bloody perfect at multitasking, How come they can’t have a headache and sex at the same time?”  

Continue reading about British Humour

John on January 1st, 2018

Continue reading about HAPPY NEW YEAR

John on December 12th, 2017
A little humorous smile for you,if you can remember that far back. Merry Christmas


Grandma’s Christmas Invitation (Priceless)

Those of us who are of an older generation will appreciate this


Dear Family,

I’m not dead yet.Christmas is still important to me.

If being in my Last Will and Testament is important to you, then you might consider being with me for my favorite holiday.

Dinner is at 2:00 p.m.

Not 2:15.

Not 2:05.

Two. 2:00.

Arrive late and you get what’s left over.

Last year, that moron Marshall fried a turkey in one of those contraptions and practically burned the deck off the house.

This year, the only peanut oil used to make the meal will be from the secret scoop of peanut butter I add to the carrot soup.
Jonathan, your last new wife was an idiot.
You don’t arrive at someone’s house on Christmas needing to use the oven and the stove to prepare your contribution to the meal.
Honest to God, I thought you might have learned after two wives – date them longer and save us all the agony of another divorce.
Now, the house rules are now slightly different this year.
New House Rules:
1. I have decided that 47% of you don’t know how to take care of nice things.
Therefore Paper plates and red Solo cups might be bad for the environment, but I’ll be gone soon and that will be your problem to deal with.
Besides, I don’t have to worry that you might break my good china when you offer to ‘do dishes’ and don’t understand that means ‘wash them in the sink, dry them and put them away, ’ not ‘stick them in the dishwasher and leave them for a week.
2. I don’t care if your favourite team is playing a critical game. The television stays off during the meal.
3. The “no cans for kids” rule still exists. We are using 2 liter bottles because your children still like to open a third can before finishing the first two. Parents can fill a child’s cup when it is empty.
There is one cup per kid and all of the cups have names on them and I’ll be paying close attention to refills.

4. Chloe, last year we were at Trudy’s house and I looked the other way when your Jell-O salad showed up. This year, if Jell-O salad comes in my front door it will go right back out the back door with the garbage. Save yourself some time, honey. You’ve never been a good cook.

You shouldn’t bring something that wiggles more than you. Buy something from the bakery.

5. Grandmothers give grandchildren cookies and candy. That is a fact of life. Your children can eat healthy at your home. At my home, they can eat whatever they like as long as they finish it.

6. I cook with bacon and bacon grease. That’s nothing new. Your being a vegetarian doesn’t change the fact that stuffing without bacon is like egg salad without eggs. Even the green bean casserole has a little bacon grease in it. That’s why it tastes so good.

Not eating bacon is just not natural. And as far as being healthy… look at me. I’ve outlived almost everyone I know.

7. Salad at Christmas is a waste of space.

8. I do not like cell phones. Leave them in the car. If I find one in my house I have a hammer to deal with it.

9. I do not like video cameras. There will be 32 people here. I am sure you can capture lots of memories without the camera pointed at me.
10. Being a mother means you have to actually pay attention to the kids. I have nice things and I don’t put them away just because company is coming over.
Mary, watch your kids and I’ll watch my things. If you don’t watch your kids, remember that I have a hammer.
11. Rhonda, a cat that requires a shot twice a day is a cat that has lived too many lives.
I think staying home to care for the cat instead of coming to dinner is your way of letting me know that I have lived too many lives too. I can live with that. Can you?
12. Words mean things. I say what I mean. Let me repeat: You don’t need to bring anything means you don’t need to bring anything. And if I did tell you to bring something, bring it in the quantity I said.
Really, this doesn’t have to be difficult.

13. Dominos and cards are better than anything that requires a battery or an on/off switch.

That was true when you were kids and it’s true now that you have kids.

14. Showing up for Christmas guarantees presents at Birthdays.

Not showing up may or may not guarantee a card that may or may not be signed.

In memory of your Grandfather, the back fridge will be filled with beer.

Drink until it is gone. I prefer wine anyway. But one from each family needs to be the designated driver.
(I realize that might be a difficult choice, so think about a cab because I don’t want any arguments on my front door step. Remember, I have a hammer.)

I really mean all of the above.

Love You,


Continue reading about Grandma’s Christmas Invitation

John on November 1st, 2017

Sarah Huckabee Sanders is pretty funny. I wonder what history will say about herZ?


Continue reading about Sarah Huckabee Sanders Funny

John on October 24th, 2017

Donald Trump Is A ‘Dangerous Clown’ On The New Yorker’

This week’s cover, “October Surprise,” by Carter Goodrich

Continue reading about Trump October clown

John on October 19th, 2017


and the Biggest MORON of all time

Can’t wait to see the Movie about the idiot Trump!



How many lies has Trump told?


Toronto Star: How many lies?



Continue reading about TRUMP: THE KING OF FAKE NEWS

John on September 28th, 2017

Couple in their nineties are both having problems remembering things. During a check-up, the doctor tells them that they’re physically okay, but they might want to start writing things down to help them remember ..

Later that night, while watching TV, the old man gets up from his chair ‘Want anything while I’m in the kitchen?’ he asks.

‘Will you get me a bowl of ice cream?’


‘Don’t you think you should write it down so you can remember it?’ she asks.

‘No, I can remember it.’

‘Well, I’d like some strawberries on top, too. Maybe you should write it down, so as not to forget it?’

He says, ‘I can remember that. You want a bowl of ice cream with strawberries.’

‘I’d also like whipped cream. I’m certain y

ou’ll forget that, write it down?’ she asks.

Irritated, he says, ‘I don’t need to write it down, I can remember it! Ice cream with strawberries and whipped cream – I got it, for goodness sake!’

Then he toddles into the kitchen. After about 20 minutes, the old man returns from the kitchen and hands his wife a plate of bacon and eggs. She stares at the plate for a moment.


‘Where’s my toast?’







An elderly couple had dinner at another couple’s house, and after eating, the wives left the table and went into the kitchen. 
The two gentlemen were talking, and one said, ‘Last night we went out to a new restaurant and it was really great I would recommend it very highly.’ 
The other man said, ‘What is the name of the restaurant?’ 
The first man thought and thought and finally said, ‘What’s the name of that flower you give to someone you love? You know, the one that’s red and has thorns.’ 
‘Do you mean a rose?’
‘Yes, that’s the one,’ replied the man. He then turned towards the kitchen and yelled, ‘Rose, what’s the name of that restaurant we went to last night?’

Hospital regulations require a wheel chair for patients being discharged. However, while working as a student nurse, I found one elderly gentleman already dressed and sitting on the bed with a suitcase at his feet, who insisted he didn’t need my help to leave the hospital.
After a chat about rules being rules, he reluctantly let me wheel him to the elevator. 
On the way down I asked him if his wife was meeting him.
‘I don’t know,’ he said. ‘She’s still upstairs in the bathroom changing out of her hospital gown.’




A senior citizen said to his eighty-year old buddy: 
‘So I hear you’re getting married?’ 
‘Do I know her?’ 
‘This woman, is she good looking?’ 
‘Not really.’ 
‘Is she a good cook?’ 
‘Nah, she can’t cook too well.’ 
‘Does she have lots of money?’ 
‘Nope! Poor as a church mouse.’ 
‘Well, then, is she good in bed?’ 
‘I don’t know.’

’Why in the world do you want to marry her then?’

‘Because she can still drive!’ 

A man was telling his neighbour, ‘I just bought a new hearing aid. It cost me four thousand dollars, but it’s state of the art. It’s perfect.’ 

‘Really,’ answered the neighbour. ‘What kind is it?’ 
‘Twelve thirty.’ 

Morris, an 82 year-old man, went to the doctor to get a physical. 

A few days later, the doctor saw Morris walking down the street with a gorgeous young woman on his arm. 
A couple of days later, the doctor spoke to Morris and said, ‘You’re really doing great, aren’t you?’ 
Morris replied, ‘Just doing what you said, Doc: ‘Get a hot mamma and be cheerful.”
The doctor said, ‘I didn’t say that.. I said, ‘You’ve got a heart murmur; be careful.’






One more……..

A little old man shuffled slowly into an ice cream parlour and pulled himself slowly, painfully, up onto a stool… After catching his breath, he ordered a banana split.
The waitress asked kindly, ‘Crushed nuts?’
‘No,’ he replied, ‘Arthritis.’


Now, before you ‘forget’, send them on to some other folks you know who could use a good laugh!

Continue reading about Old Age Jokes

John on August 16th, 2017

Thought you knew everything?

Stewardesses is the longest word
typed with only the left hand. 


And ‘lollipop’ is the longest word typed
with your right hand. 
(Bet you just tried these out mentally, didn’t you?)




No word in the English language rhymes with 
month , orange,silver, or purple. 


‘ Dreamt’ is the only English word that ends in the letters ‘mt’.  
(Are you doubting this?)


Our eyes are always the same size from birth,
but our nose and ears never stop growing.





The sentence:

‘The quick brown fox jumps over the lazy dog’


uses every letter of the alphabet. 
(Now, you KNOW you’re going to try this out for accuracy, right?)








The words ‘racecar,’  


and ‘level’

are the same whether they are read left to right   or right to left (palindromes).  
(Yep, I knew you were going to ‘do’ this one.)


There are only four words in the English language which end in ‘dous’: tremendous, horrendous, stupendous, and hazardous.   
(You’re not possibly still doubting any of this, are you ?)


There are two words in the English language that have all five vowels in order: ‘abstemious’ and ‘facetious.’ 
(Okay, admit it, you just went through  a-e-i-o-u  in your head)  


TYPEWRITER  is the longest word that can be made using the letters only on one row of the keyboard. 
(All you typists are going to test this out)


A cat has 32 muscles in each ear 





A goldfish has a memory span of three seconds 
(And, some days I think I  m right there with them.)

A ‘jiffy’    is an actual unit of time, 1/100th of a second.


A shark is the only fish that can blink with both eyes.  

A snail can sleep for three years. 
(I know some people that could do this too!)  






Almonds are a member of the peach family. 

An ostrich’s eye is bigger than its brain. 
(I know some people like that also . Actually I know A LOT of people like this!)



Babies are born without kneecaps









They don’t appear until the child reaches 2 to 6 years of age.



February 1865 is the only month in recorded history not to have a full moon. 


In the last 4,000 years, no new animals have been domesticated.  


If the population of China  walked past you, 8 abreast,
the line would never end because of the rate of reproduction. 


Leonardo Da Vinci invented the scissors


Peanuts are one of the ingredients of dynamite!


Rubber bands last longer when refrigerated.


The average person’s left hand does 56% of the typing.







The cruise liner, QE 2,

moves only six inches for each gallon of diesel that it burns.


The microwave was invented after a researcher walked by a radar tube and a chocolate bar melted in his pocket.
(Good thing he didn  t have dynamite.)



The winter of 1932 was so cold that Niagara Falls 
froze completely solid




There are more chickens than people in the world. 




Winston Churchill

was born in a ladies’ room during a dance.


Women blink nearly twice as much as men.



Now you know a lot more than you did before!!



The Rain-   Thomas Kinkade  

This is a Thomas Kinkade painting It’s rumoured to carry a miracle!
They say if you pass this on, you will receive a miracle.

I am passing this on because I thought it was neat

and besides, who couldn’t use a miracle?!



  Now you know everything ……………………….. ……………………..

Continue reading about Thought You Knew Everything

John on August 2nd, 2017

Continue reading about OLD AGE HUMOR ~ CALORIES