Jul
28

The First Senior Moment

John on July 28th, 2010


“Oh, Crap was that today?”

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Jul
28

Interesting Facts about kissing, snogging, and osculating

John on July 28th, 2010

The scientific name for kissing, snogging, osculating and bussing is philematology.
Just kissing can burn off 26 calories in one minute.
The average person spends two weeks of their life kissing.
Eskimos, Polynesians and Malaysians and indeed, Ancient Egyptians, rub noses instead of kissing.
Ancient Romans kissed each other on the eyes or the mouth as a greeting.
Victorian etiquette, in the UK, required a man to kiss the back of a ladies hand.
A standard greeting in Europe is a kiss on both cheeks or it could be two. . .or three or maybe four.
African tribes pay homage to their Chief by kissing the ground on which he has walked.
In Ireland, you will have good luck if you kiss the Blarney Stone.
Allegedly the Chinese didn’t kiss until the practice was introduced by Westerners, and they’re still not very keen on it.



  1. Just kissing can burn off 26 calories in one minute.
  2. The average person spends two weeks of their life kissing.
  3. Eskimos, Polynesians and Malaysians and indeed, Ancient Egyptians, rub noses instead of kissing.
  4. Ancient Romans kissed each other on the eyes or the mouth as a greeting.
  5. Victorian etiquette, in the UK, required a man to kiss the back of a ladies hand.
  6. A standard greeting in Europe is a kiss on both cheeks or it could be two. . .or three or maybe four.
  7. African tribes pay homage to their Chief by kissing the ground on which he has walked.
  8. In Ireland, you will have good luck if you kiss the Blarney Stone.
  9. Allegedly the Chinese didn’t kiss until the practice was introduced by Westerners, and they’re still not very keen on it.
  10. The scientific name for kissing, snogging, osculating and bussing is philematology.

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Jul
27

Lucky Day for Grandma

John on July 27th, 2010
Lucky Day
A woman and a baby come into the doctor’s office. She was to go into a room and wait for the doctor. After arriving there, the doctor examined the baby and asked the woman, “Is he breast fed or on the bottle?”
“Breast fed”, she replied.
“Well, strip down to your waist,” the doctor ordered. she did.
He pressed, kneaded and pinched both breasts for awhile in a detailed examination. Motioning to her to get dressed he said, “No wonder this baby is hungry, You don’t have any milk.”
“Naturally”, she said, “I’m his Grandma. But I’m glad I came today”

A woman and a baby come into the doctor’s office. She was to go into a room and wait for the doctor. After arriving there, the doctor examined the baby and asked the woman, “Is he breast fed or on the bottle?”

“Breast fed”, she replied.

“Well, strip down to your waist,” the doctor ordered. she did.

He pressed, kneaded and pinched both breasts for awhile in a detailed examination. Motioning to her to get dressed he said, “No wonder this baby is hungry, You don’t have any milk.”

“Naturally”, she said, “I’m his Grandma. But I’m glad I came today“fun for older people

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Jul
27

Origin of S.H.I.T

John on July 27th, 2010

School would have been much more interesting if my teachers had taught “stuff” like this!

Subject: Manure

Manure:  In the 16th and 17th centuries, everything had to be

transported by ship and it was also before commercial fertilizer ’s

invention, so large shipments of manure were common.

It was shipped dry, because in dry form it weighed a lot less than

when wet, but once water (at sea) hit it, it not only became heavier,

but the process of fermentation began again, of which a by product is

methane gas.

As the stuff was stored below decks in bundles you can see what could

(and did) happen.

Methane began to build up below decks and the first time someone came

below at night with a lantern, BOOOOM!

Several ships were destroyed in this manner before it was determined

just what was happening.

After that, the bundles of manure were always stamped with the term

‘ Ship High In Transit ‘ on them, which meant for the sailors to stow

it high enough off the lower decks so that any water that came into

the hold would not touch this volatile cargo and start the production

of methane.

Thus evolved the term ‘ S.H.I.T ‘, (Ship High In Transit) which has

come down through the centuries and is in use to this very day.

You probably did not know the true history of this word.

Neither did I.


I had always thought it was a golf term!

meaning of S.H.I.T.

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Jul
27

Golf Balls

John on July 27th, 2010
Golf Balls
A man entered the bus with both of his front pockets full of golf balls and sat down next to a beautiful (you guessed it) blonde.
The puzzled blonde kept looking at him and his bulging pockets. Finally, after many such glances from her, he said: ‘Its golf balls’.
Nevertheless, the blond continued to look at him for a very long time, deeply thinking about what he had said.
After several minutes, not being able to contain her curiosity any longer, she asked: ‘Does it hurt as much as tennis elbow?’



A man entered the bus with both of his front pockets full of golf balls and sat down next to a beautiful (you guessed it) blonde.

The puzzled blonde kept looking at him and his bulging pockets. Finally, after many such glances from her, he said: ‘It’s golf balls’.

Nevertheless, the blond continued to look at him for a very long time, deeply thinking about what he had said.

After several minutes, not being able to contain her curiosity any longer, she asked: ‘Does it hurt as much as tennis elbow?’

golf balls

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Jul
27

How on Earth did you do that?

John on July 27th, 2010

A foursome approached the sixteenth tee. The straight fairway ran along a road and bike path fenced off on the left. The first golfer teed of and hooked the ball into that direction. But the ball went over the fence and bounced off the bike path onto the road, where it hit the tire of a moving bus and was knocked back on to the fairway. As they all stood in silent amazement, one man finally asked him, “How on earth did you do that?” He shrugged his shoulders and said, “You have to know the bus schedule.”

golf33

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Jul
27

Golfing with an Older Gentleman

John on July 27th, 2010


A young man who was also an avid golfer found himself with a few hours to spare one afternoon. He figured if played fast, he could squeeze in nine holes before he had to head home for dinner.

Just as he was about to tee off an old gentleman shuffled onto the tee and asked if he could accompany the young man as he was golfing alone. Not being able to say no, he allowed the fellow golfer to join him.

To his surprise the old man played fairly quickly. He didn’t hit the ball far, but plodded along consistently and didn’t waste any time.

Finally, they reached the ninth fairway and the young man found himself with a tough shot. There was a large pine tree right in front of his ball – and directly between his ball and the green.

After several minutes of debating how to hit the shot the old man finally said, “You know, when I was your age I’d hit the ball right over that tree.”

With the challenge placed before him, the younger golfer swung hard, hit the ball up, right smack into the top of the tree trunk and it thudded back on the ground not a foot from where it had originally lay.

The old man offered one more comment, “Of course, when I was your age that pine tree was only three feet tall.”

[Old_Golfer- joke

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Jul
27

MAXINE ON CLIMATE CHANGE FAIL

John on July 27th, 2010

MAXINE-THEREIS NO VACCINE AGAINST STUPIDITY-CLIMATE CHANGE FAIL

To the point and right on!!!

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Jul
27

Climate Change Cowards – Selfish and Greedy

John on July 27th, 2010

“So it is with some regret I come to the floor to discuss this important issue with a total lack of bipartisanship on the part of the administration and, again, express my willingness – in fact, my deep desire – to sit down and try to address, in a bipartisan fashion, this compelling issue, which is endangering the future of this planet and certainly our children’s and grandchildren’s future, and that is the issue of climate change.”

Senator John McCain

What he really said is:

Money is more important than our future.

It’s not our plan, it’s the Democrats, so we wont vote for it.

I want to get elected again so I’d rather be in office than save the planet.

Environmentalists said the decision to delay action on the broad climate legislation marked a serious setback.

“It would seem like the longest of long shots to me because the window for opportunity in the fall before the election season goes into high gear is very small,” said Frank O’Donnell, president of Clean Air Watch, an activist group.

So let’s start over or let’s debate some more, or let’s do nothing. Good work, John.

image Earth-climate change

sad -earth-climate change

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Jul
27

How to carry Plywood

John on July 27th, 2010

A little old, but a great commercial.

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