My wife and I had two beautiful daughters but always talked about having a son. We decided to try one last time for the son we always wanted.
My wife got pregnant and delivered a healthy baby boy. I rushed to the nursery to see my new son. I was horrified at the ugliest child I had ever seen.
“There’s no way I can be the father of this baby. Look at the two beautiful daughters I fathered! Have you been fooling around behind my back?”
My wife smiled sweetly and replied, “Not this time!”
and that’s when the fight started…
check out:
http://whenthefightstarted.blogspot.com/
for more “and that’s when the fight started jokes.”
Two guys are lost in the desert. They are about to just lie down and wait for death, when all of a sudden one of them (Mark) says, “Hey Dave, do you smell what I smell. It’s bacon, I think.”
“Yeah Mark, it sure smells like bacon.”
With renewed hope they struggle up the next sand dune, and there, in the distance, is a tree loaded with bacon. There is fried bacon, double smoked bacon, Canadian bacon; every imaginable kind of cured pork.
“Dave, Dave, we are saved. It’s a bacon tree.”
“Mark, maybe it’s a mirage? We are in the desert don’t forget.”
“Dave, since when did you ever hear of a mirage that smells like bacon? It’s no mirage, it’s a bacon tree.”
And with that, Mark staggers towards the tree. He gets to within five feet, with Dave crawling close behind, when suddenly a machine gun opens up, and Mark drops like a wet sock. Mortally wounded, he warns Dave with his dying breath, “Dave, go back man, you were right, it’s not a bacon tree!”
“Mark, Mark my friend, what is it?”
“Dave it’s not a bacon tree; it’s, it’s, it’s, a ham bush!”
One of the best moments in Canadian Sport!!!
Continue reading about Team Canada’s Winning Gold Medal Goal and Reaction 2010 Winter Olympics
Oh, The Places You’ll Go
My wife and I give this book to our friends’ children for their graduation and many speakers quote from this book during Graduations ceremonies.
Basically, it tells us that success is imminent, if you try. Page after colorful, carefully illustrated page is filled with rhymed wisdom to inspire readers to venture out into the world in search of dreams without fear or inhibition. Mindful of roadblocks and stumbles, the book reminds readers to dust themselves off and keep trying whenever setbacks occur.
This was Dr. Seuss’ last book before he died.
Theodor Seuss Geisel (pronounced /ˈɡaɪzÉ™l/; March 2, 1904 – September 24, 1991) was an American writer and cartoonist most widely known for his children’s books written under the pen nameDr. Seuss.[1] He published over 60 children’s books, which were often characterized by imaginative characters, rhyme, and frequent use of trisyllabic meter. His most celebrated books include the bestselling Green Eggs and Ham, The Cat in the Hat, and One Fish Two Fish Red Fish Blue Fish. Numerous adaptations of his work have been created, including eleven television specials, threefeature films, and a Broadway musical.
Geisel also worked as an illustrator for advertising campaigns, most notably for Flit and Standard Oil, and as a political cartoonist for PM, a New York City newspaper. During World War II, he worked in an animation department of the U.S Army, where he wrote Design for Death, a film that later won the 1947 Academy Award for Documentary Feature.
Read Across America is an initiative on reading created by the National Education Association. One part of the project is National Read Across America Day, an observance in the United States held on March 2, the birthday of Dr. Seuss.
Dr. Seuss would have been 105 today. Many of us grew up reading his fanciful tales.
He was born on March 2, 1904 in Massachusetts, although his amazing ‘Cat in the Hat’ wasn’t published until Dr Seuss was 55 years old.
In his lifetime he won two Emmy awards and a Pulitzer Prize for his work.
Do you have a favourite Dr. Zeus Quote?
Mine is:
“You have brains in your head. You have feet in your shoes. You can steer yourself, any direction you choose.”
Do you recognize some of these famous quotes???
“I meant what I said, and I said what I meant. An elephant’s faithful, one hundred percent.”
“So the writer who breeds more words than he needs, is making a chore for the reader who reads.”
“Sometimes the questions are complicated and the answers are simple.”
“And will you succeed? Yes indeed, yes indeed! Ninety-eight and three-quarters percent guaranteed.”
“Be who you are and say what you feel because those that mind don’t matter and those who matter don’t mind.”
“You know when you’re in love and you can’t fall asleep because reality is finally better than your dreams.”
“Today you are you, that is truer than true. There is no one alive who is Youer than you.”
“Today is your day! Your mountain is waiting. So… get on your way.”
Continue reading about Dr. Seuss Birthday — Would have been 105 today!
“We do a pretty good job of stealing players from other countries and I think their fans deserve a chance to see a tournament like this,” said Team USA head coach Ron Wilson.
“I think the best players in the world should have an opportunity to compete in the Olympics,” said Babcock. “This is a great showcase event and players are thrilled to be here. I’m a big fan of the ice surface being the same as well because think the game is so much better.”
Continue reading about Of course, NHL players should play in Sochi in 2014!!!
‘It’s really a weird experience because you think there could be something sexual behind it, but there’s not.’
‘It was difficult to get the straight participants to embrace the gay participants and vice versa,’ Tunick said. ‘So I was very happy that that last set up finally got done and everyone came together (in a) united, friendly kiss, a loving kiss in front of this great structure.’
Tunick has produced almost 100 nude installations around the world, and says his work is not about exhibitionism or eroticism but instead reveals the vulnerability of life in a rough city landscape.
An elephant hired for a Hindu wedding in India caused more than £200,000 ($300 000) damage after trying to reach an in-heat female.
The turned-on tusker trampled 20 limos trying to reach the female in a nearby sugar cane field in the Indian capital New Delhi.
He also then mounted and attempted to mate with a truck, and smashed through a shopping mall in the 15-hour New Delhi rampage.
His adventure was finally brought to an end when wildlife experts managed to bring him down with a tranquilliser gun.
‘It is a very powerful urge,’ said one expert.
And no video…so far!
Continue reading about Wedding elephant destroys 20 limos in 15-hour rampage
