So you’re a senior citizen and the government says no health care for you,

what do you do?

Our plan gives anyone 65 years or older a gun and 4 bullets.

You are allowed to shoot 2 senators and 2 representatives.

Of Course, this means you will be sent to prison where you will

get 3 meals a day, a roof over your head, and all the health care you need!

New teeth, no problem.

Need glasses, great.

New hip, knees, kidney, lungs, heart?

All covered.

(And your kids can come and visit you as often as they do now).

And who will be paying for all of this?

The same government that just told you that you are too old for health care.

Plus, because you are a prisoner, you don’t have to pay any income taxes anymore.

WHAT IS THIS A GREAT COUNTRY?

Continue reading about Maxine’s Health Care Plan

1. HOW DO YOU DECIDE WHO TO MARRY?
“You got to find somebody who likes the same stuff. Like, if you like sports, she should like it that you like sports, and she should keep the chips and dip coming.”
—Alan, age 10

“No person really decides before they grow up who they’re going to marry. God decides it all way before, and you get to find out later who you’re stuck with.”
—Kristen, age 10

2. WHAT IS THE RIGHT AGE TO GET MARRIED?
“Twenty-three is the best age because you know the person FOREVER by then.”
—Camille, age 10

3. HOW CAN A STRANGER TELL IF TWO PEOPLE ARE MARRIED?
“You might have to guess, based on whether they seem to be yelling at the same kids.”
—Derrick, age 8

4. WHAT DO YOU THINK YOUR MOM AND DAD HAVE IN COMMON?
“Both don’t want any more kids.”
—Lori, age 8

5. WHAT DO MOST PEOPLE DO ON A DATE?
“Dates are for having fun, and people should use them to get to know each other. Even boys have something to say if you listen long enough.”
—Lynnette, age 8

“On the first date, they just tell each other lies and that usually gets them interested enough to go for a second date.”
—Martin, age 10

6. WHEN IS IT OKAY TO KISS SOMEONE?
“When they’re rich.”
—Pam, age 7

“The law says you have to be eighteen, so I wouldn’t want to mess with that.”
—Curt, age 7

“The rule goes like this: If you kiss someone, then you should marry them and have kids with them. It’s the right thing to do.”
—Howard, age 8

7. IS IT BETTER TO BE SINGLE OR MARRIED?
“It’s better for girls to be single but not for boys. Boys need someone to clean up after them.”
—Anita, age 9

8. HOW WOULD THE WORLD BE DIFFERENT IF PEOPLE DIDN’T GET MARRIED?
“There sure would be a lot of kids to explain, wouldn’t there?”
—Kelvin, age 8

And the #1 Favorite is ……

9. HOW WOULD YOU MAKE A MARRIAGE WORK?
“Tell your wife that she looks pretty, even if she looks like a dump truck .”
—Ricky, age 10

Continue reading about Kids advice about Relationships

2010 Census for the South

Last name: ________________
First name: (Check appropriate box)
(_) Billy-Bob
(_) Billy-Joe
(_) Billy-Ray
(_) Billy-Sue
(_) Billy-Mae
(_) Billy-Jack

What does everyone call you?
(_) Booger
(_) Bubba
(_) Junior
(_) Sissy
(_) Other___________________

Age: ____ (if unsure, guess)
Sex: ____ M _____ F _____ Not sure
Shoe Size: ____ Left ____ Right

Occupation: (Check appropriate box)
(_) Farmer
(_) Mechanic
(_) Hair Dresser
(_) Unemployed
(_) Dirty Politician
(_) Preacher

Spouse’s Name:_________________________
2nd Spouse’s Name:______________________
3rd Spouse’s Name:______________________
Lover’s Name:___________________________

Relationship with spouse: (Check appropriate box)
(_) Sister
(_) Brother
(_) Aunt
(_) Uncle
(_) Cousin
(_) Mother
(_) Father
(_) Son
(_) Daughter
(_) Pet

Number of children living in household: _____
Number of children living in shed: ______
Number that are yours: ______

Mother’s Name: _______________________(If not sure, leave blank)
Father’s Name: _______________________ (If not sure, leave blank)

Education: 1 2 3 4 (Circle highest grade completed)
Do you (_) own or (_) rent your mobile home? (Check appropriate box)

Total number of vehicles you own: ___
Number of vehicles that still crank: ___
Number of vehicles in front yard: ___
Number of vehicles in back yard: ___
Number of vehicles on cement blocks: ___

Firearms you own and where you keep them:
____ truck
____ bedroom
____ bathroom
____ kitchen
____ shed

Model and year of your pickup: 196_

Do you have a gun rack?
(_) Yes (_) No; If no, please explain:

Newspapers/magazines you subscribe to:
(_) The National Enquirer
(_) The Globe
(_) TV Guide
(_) Soap Opera Digest
(_) Rifle and Shotgun

Number of times you’ve seen a UFO:_____
Number of times in the last 5 years you’ve seen Elvis:_____
Number of times you’ve seen Elvis in a UFO:_____

How often do you bathe:
(_) Weekly
(_) Monthly
(_) Not Applicable

Color of eyes:
Left______ Right_____

Color of hair:
(_) Blond
(_) Black
(_) Red
(_) Brown
(_) White
(_) Clairol

Color of teeth:
(_) Yellow
(_) Brownish-Yellow
(_) Brown
(_) Black
(_) None

Brand of chewing tobacco you prefer:
(_)Red-Man

How far is your home from a paved road?
(_) 1 mile
(_) 2 miles
(_) just a whoop-and-a-holler
(_) What’s a road?

Continue reading about Funny 2010 Census for the Southern States

Continue reading about Funny World Cup Fan – Brazil – Man Trance- Staring

Continue reading about Wimpy Breakfast Ad 2010 World Cup South Africa – Weird but Funny!

Cristiano Ronaldo, Didier Drogba, Wayne Rooney, Fabio Cannavaro, Franck Ribery, Andres Iniesta, Cesc Fabregas and Theo Walcott feature along with cameo appearances from Kobe Bryant and Homer Simpson.

Roger Federer. A great commercial!!

Continue reading about NIKE WRITE THE FUTURE – Ad – World Cup 2010 – Rooney – Great!