Thought you knew everything?
Stewardesses is the longest word
typed with only the left hand.Â
And ‘lollipop’Â is the longest word typed
with your right hand.Â
(Bet you just tried these out mentally, didn’t you?)
No word in the English language rhymes withÂ
month , orange,silver, or purple.Â
‘ Dreamt’ is the only English word that ends in the letters ‘mt’. Â
(Are you doubting this?)
Our eyes are always the same size from birth,
but our nose and ears never stop growing.
The sentence:
‘The quick brown fox jumps over the lazy dog’
uses every letter of the alphabet.Â
(Now, you KNOW you’re going to try this out for accuracy, right?)
The words ‘racecar,’Â Â
‘kayak’
and ‘level’
are the same whether they are read left to right   or right to left (palindromes). Â
(Yep, I knew you were going to ‘do’ this one.)
There are only four words in the English language which end in ‘dous’: tremendous, horrendous, stupendous, and hazardous.  Â
(You’re not possibly still doubting any of this, are you ?)
There are two words in the English language that have all five vowels in order: ‘abstemious’ and ‘facetious.’Â
(Okay, admit it, you just went through ⤘ a-e-i-o-u ⤙ in your head) Â
TYPEWRITERÂ Â is the longest word that can be made using the letters only on one row of the keyboard.Â
(All you typists are going to test this out)
A cat has 32 muscles in each earÂ
A goldfish has a memory span of three secondsÂ
(And, some days I think I ⤙ m right there with them.)
A ‘jiffy’Â Â Â is an actual unit of time, 1/100th of a second.
A shark is the only fish that can blink with both eyes. Â
A snail can sleep for three years.Â
(I know some people that could do this too!)Â Â
Almonds are a member of the peach family.Â
An ostrich’s eye is bigger than its brain.Â
(I know some people like that also . Actually I know A LOT of people like this!)
Babies are born without kneecaps
They don’t appear until the child reaches 2 to 6 years of age.
February 1865 is the only month in recorded history not to have a full moon.Â
In the last 4,000 years, no new animals have been domesticated. Â
If the population of China  walked past you, 8 abreast,
the line would never end because of the rate of reproduction.Â
Leonardo Da Vinci invented the scissors
Peanuts are one of the ingredients of dynamite!
Rubber bands last longer when refrigerated.
The average person’s left hand does 56% of the typing.
The cruise liner, QE 2,
moves only six inches for each gallon of diesel that it burns.
The microwave was invented after a researcher walked by a radar tube and a chocolate bar melted in his pocket.
(Good thing he didn ⤙ t have dynamite.)
The winter of 1932 was so cold that Niagara FallsÂ
froze completely solid
There are more chickens than people in the world.Â
Winston Churchill
was born in a ladies’ room during a dance.
Women blink nearly twice as much as men.
Now you know a lot more than you did before!!
The Rain-   Thomas Kinkade Â
This is a Thomas Kinkade painting It’s rumoured to carry a miracle!
They say if you pass this on, you will receive a miracle.
I am passing this on because I thought it was neat
and besides, who couldn’t use a miracle?!
  Now you know everything ……………………….. ……………………..
Dr. Seuss Trump Book by Jimmy Kimmel …This may have more impact than all theMSM negative propaganda!Â
Continue reading about Dr. Seuss Trump Book Winner’s Aren’t Loser
funny email forward, funny dog video
Continue reading about Breakfast at Ginger’s- golden retriever dog eats with hands – Great Video
funny email forward
The Male Stages Of Life
AGEÂ Â Â Â Â Â DRINK
17Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â beer
25Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â vodka
35Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â scotch
48Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â double scotch
66Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Maalox
SEDUCTION LINE
17Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â My parents are away for the weekend.
25Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â My girlfriend is away for the weekend.
35         My fianc�e is away for the weekend.
48Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â My wife is away for the weekend.
66Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â My second wife is dead.
FAVORITE SPORT
17Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â sex
25Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â sex
35Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â sex
48Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â sex
66Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â napping
DEFINITION OF A SUCCESSFUL DATE
17Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â “tongue”
25Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â “breakfast”
35Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â “She didn’t set back my therapy.”
48Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â “I didn’t have to meet her kids.”
66Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â “Got home alive.”
FAVORITE FANTASY
17Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â getting to third
25Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â airplane sex
35Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â menage a trois
48Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â taking the company public
66Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Swiss maid/Nazi love slave
HOUSE PET
17Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â roaches
25Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â stoned-out college roommate
35Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â German Shepherd
48Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â children from his first marriage
66Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Barbi
WHAT’S THE IDEAL AGE TO GET MARRIED?
17Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â 25
25Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â 35
35Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â 48
48Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â 66
66Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â 17
The Female Stages Of Life
AGEÂ Â Â Â Â Â Â Â DRINK
17Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Wine Coolers
25Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â White wine
35Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Red wine
48Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Dom Perignon
66Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Shot of Jack with an Ensure chaser
EXCUSES FOR REFUSING DATES
17Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Need to wash my hair
25Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Need to wash and condition my hair
35Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Need to colour my hair
48Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Need to have Francois colour my hair
66Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Need to have Francois colour my wig
FAVORITE SPORT
17Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â shopping
25Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â shopping
35Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â shopping
48Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â shopping
66Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â shopping
DEFINITION OF A SUCCESSFUL DATE
17Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â “Burger King”
25Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â “Free meal”
35Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â “A diamond”
48Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â “A bigger diamond”
66Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â “Home Alone”
FAVORITE FANTASY
17Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â tall, dark and handsome
25Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â tall, dark and handsome with money
35Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â tall, dark and handsome with money and a brain
48Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â a man with hair
66Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â a man
HOUSE PET
17Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Muffy the cat
25Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Unemployed boyfriend and Muffy the Cat
35Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â German Shepherd and Muffy the Cat
48Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Children from his first marriage and Muffy the Cat
66Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Retired husband dabbles in taxidermy, stuffs Muff the Cat
WHAT’S THE IDEAL AGE TO GET MARRIED?
17Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â 17
25Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â 25
35Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â 35
48Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â 48
66Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â 66
IDEAL DATE
17Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â He offers to pay
25Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â He pays
35Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â He cooks breakfast the next morning
48Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â He cooks breakfast the next morning for the kids
66Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â He can chew breakfast
funny email forward
Four men were bragging about how smart their cats were.
The first man was an Engineer,
The second man was an Accountant,
The third man was a Chemist, and
The fourth man was a Government Employee.
To show off, the Engineer called his cat, ‘T-square, do your stuff.’
T-square pranced over to the desk, took out some paper and pen and
promptly drew a circle, a square, and a triangle.
Everyone agreed that was pretty smart.
But the Accountant said his cat could do better He called his cat and
said,
‘Spreadsheet, do your stuff.’
Spreadsheet went out to the kitchen and returned with a dozen cookies.
He divided them into 4 equal piles of 3 cookies.
Everyone agreed that was good.
But the Chemist said his cat could do better. He called his cat and
said, ‘Measure, do your stuff.’
Measure got up, walked to the fridge, took out a quart of milk, got a 10
ounce glass from the cupboard and poured exactly 8 ounces into the glass
without spilling a drop.
Everyone agreed that was pretty good.
Then the three men turned to the Government Employee and said, ‘What can
your cat do?’
The Government Employee called his cat and said, ‘CoffeeBreak, do your
stuff.’
CoffeeBreak jumped to his feet…….
Ate the cookies……….
Drank the milk…….
Shit on the paper…….
Screwed the other three cats…….
Claimed he injured his back while doing so……..
Filed a grievance report for unsafe working conditions……..
Put in for Workers Compensation…………….
and
Went home for the rest of the day on sick leave…………
AND THAT, MY FRIEND IS WHY EVERYONE Â WANT’S TO WORK FOR THE GOVERNMENT!!
The second man was an Accountant,
The third man was a Chemist, and
The fourth man was a Government Employee.
To show off, the Engineer called his cat, ‘T-square, do your stuff.’
promptly drew a circle, a square, and a triangle.
said,
‘Spreadsheet, do your stuff.’
He divided them into 4 equal piles of 3 cookies.
But the Chemist said his cat could do better. He called his cat and
said, ‘Measure, do your stuff.’
Measure got up, walked to the fridge, took out a quart of milk, got a 10
ounce glass from the cupboard and poured exactly 8 ounces into the glass
without spilling a drop.
Everyone agreed that was pretty good.
Then the three men turned to the Government Employee and said, ‘What can
your cat do?’
stuff.’
Ate the cookies……….
funny email forward
Automotive horror
As a senior citizen was driving down the freeway, his car phone rang. Answering, he heard his wife’s voice urgently warning him, “Herman, I just heard on the news that there’s a car going the wrong way on 280. Please be careful!”
“Heck,” said Herman, “It’s not just one car. It’s hundreds of them!”
