John on August 16th, 2017

Thought you knew everything?

Stewardesses is the longest word
typed with only the left hand. 

 


And ‘lollipop’ is the longest word typed
with your right hand. 
(Bet you just tried these out mentally, didn’t you?)

 

 

 

No word in the English language rhymes with 
month , orange,silver, or purple. 

 

‘ Dreamt’ is the only English word that ends in the letters ‘mt’.  
(Are you doubting this?)

 

Our eyes are always the same size from birth,
but our nose and ears never stop growing.

 

 

 

 

The sentence:

‘The quick brown fox jumps over the lazy dog’

 

uses every letter of the alphabet. 
(Now, you KNOW you’re going to try this out for accuracy, right?)

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

The words ‘racecar,’  

‘kayak’

and ‘level’

are the same whether they are read left to right   or right to left (palindromes).  
(Yep, I knew you were going to ‘do’ this one.)

 

There are only four words in the English language which end in ‘dous’: tremendous, horrendous, stupendous, and hazardous.   
(You’re not possibly still doubting any of this, are you ?)

 

There are two words in the English language that have all five vowels in order: ‘abstemious’ and ‘facetious.’ 
(Okay, admit it, you just went through  a-e-i-o-u  in your head)  

 


TYPEWRITER  is the longest word that can be made using the letters only on one row of the keyboard. 
(All you typists are going to test this out)

 

A cat has 32 muscles in each ear 

 

 

 

 

A goldfish has a memory span of three seconds 
(And, some days I think I  m right there with them.)


A ‘jiffy’    is an actual unit of time, 1/100th of a second.

 


A shark is the only fish that can blink with both eyes.  


A snail can sleep for three years. 
(I know some people that could do this too!)  

 

 

 

 

 


Almonds are a member of the peach family. 


An ostrich’s eye is bigger than its brain. 
(I know some people like that also . Actually I know A LOT of people like this!)

 

 

Babies are born without kneecaps

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

They don’t appear until the child reaches 2 to 6 years of age.

 

 


February 1865 is the only month in recorded history not to have a full moon. 

 

In the last 4,000 years, no new animals have been domesticated.  

 

If the population of China  walked past you, 8 abreast,
the line would never end because of the rate of reproduction. 

 


Leonardo Da Vinci invented the scissors

 


Peanuts are one of the ingredients of dynamite!

 

Rubber bands last longer when refrigerated.

 


The average person’s left hand does 56% of the typing.

 

 

 

 

 

 

The cruise liner, QE 2,

moves only six inches for each gallon of diesel that it burns.

 

The microwave was invented after a researcher walked by a radar tube and a chocolate bar melted in his pocket.
(Good thing he didn  t have dynamite.)

 

 

The winter of 1932 was so cold that Niagara Falls 
froze completely solid

 

 

 

There are more chickens than people in the world. 

 

 

 


Winston Churchill

was born in a ladies’ room during a dance.

 

Women blink nearly twice as much as men.

 

 

Now you know a lot more than you did before!!

 

 

The Rain-   Thomas Kinkade  

This is a Thomas Kinkade painting It’s rumoured to carry a miracle!
They say if you pass this on, you will receive a miracle.


I am passing this on because I thought it was neat

and besides, who couldn’t use a miracle?!

 

 

  Now you know everything ……………………….. ……………………..

Continue reading about Thought You Knew Everything

John on May 16th, 2016
Dr. Seuss Trump Book by Jimmy Kimmel …
This may have more impact than all the
MSM negative propaganda!
Dr. Seuss Trump Book
 
Priceless!
 
This is hilarious no matter where you stand in our presidential political maze of crazy.
 
Trump’s children’s book (two minutes)
 

Continue reading about Dr. Seuss Trump Book Winner’s Aren’t Loser

funny email forward, funny dog video

Continue reading about Breakfast at Ginger’s- golden retriever dog eats with hands – Great Video

John on May 30th, 2010

funny email forward

Continue reading about Funny Taxi Commercial

John on May 29th, 2010

The Male Stages Of Life

AGE       DRINK

17          beer
25          vodka
35          scotch
48          double scotch
66          Maalox

SEDUCTION LINE

17          My parents are away for the weekend.
25          My girlfriend is away for the weekend.
35          My fianc�e is away for the weekend.
48          My wife is away for the weekend.
66          My second wife is dead.

FAVORITE SPORT

17          sex
25          sex
35          sex
48          sex
66          napping

DEFINITION OF A SUCCESSFUL DATE

17          “tongue”
25          “breakfast”
35          “She didn’t set back my therapy.”
48          “I didn’t have to meet her kids.”
66          “Got home alive.”

FAVORITE FANTASY

17          getting to third
25          airplane sex
35          menage a trois
48          taking the company public
66          Swiss maid/Nazi love slave

HOUSE PET

17          roaches
25          stoned-out college roommate
35          German Shepherd
48          children from his first marriage
66          Barbi

WHAT’S THE IDEAL AGE TO GET MARRIED?

17          25
25          35
35          48
48          66
66          17

The Female Stages Of Life

AGE         DRINK

17          Wine Coolers
25          White wine
35          Red wine
48          Dom Perignon
66          Shot of Jack with an Ensure chaser

EXCUSES FOR REFUSING DATES

17          Need to wash my hair
25          Need to wash and condition my hair
35          Need to colour my hair
48          Need to have Francois colour my hair
66          Need to have Francois colour my wig

FAVORITE SPORT

17          shopping
25          shopping
35          shopping
48          shopping
66          shopping

DEFINITION OF A SUCCESSFUL DATE
17          “Burger King”
25          “Free meal”
35          “A diamond”
48          “A bigger diamond”
66          “Home Alone”

FAVORITE FANTASY
17          tall, dark and handsome
25          tall, dark and handsome with money
35          tall, dark and handsome with money and a brain
48          a man with hair
66          a man

HOUSE PET
17          Muffy the cat
25          Unemployed boyfriend and Muffy the Cat
35          German Shepherd and Muffy the Cat
48          Children from his first marriage and Muffy the Cat
66          Retired husband dabbles in taxidermy, stuffs Muff the Cat

WHAT’S THE IDEAL AGE TO GET MARRIED?
17          17
25          25
35          35
48          48
66          66

IDEAL DATE
17          He offers to pay
25          He pays
35          He cooks breakfast the next morning
48          He cooks breakfast the next morning for the kids
66          He can chew breakfast

funny email forward

Continue reading about Male and Female Stages of Life

John on April 23rd, 2010

Sulumits Retsambew Cat Boxer Four men were bragging about how smart their cats were.

The first man was an Engineer,
The second man was an Accountant,
The third man was a Chemist, and
The fourth man was a Government Employee.
To show off, the Engineer called his cat, ‘T-square, do your stuff.’

T-square pranced over to the desk, took out some paper and pen and
promptly drew a circle, a square, and a triangle.

Everyone agreed that was pretty smart.

But the Accountant said his cat could do better He called his cat and
said,
‘Spreadsheet, do your stuff.’

Spreadsheet went out to the kitchen and returned with a dozen cookies.
He divided them into 4 equal piles of 3 cookies.

Everyone agreed that was good.
But the Chemist said his cat could do better. He called his cat and
said, ‘Measure, do your stuff.’
Measure got up, walked to the fridge, took out a quart of milk, got a 10
ounce glass from the cupboard and poured exactly 8 ounces into the glass
without spilling a drop.
Everyone agreed that was pretty good.
Then the three men turned to the Government Employee and said, ‘What can
your cat do?’

The Government Employee called his cat and said, ‘CoffeeBreak, do your
stuff.’

CoffeeBreak jumped to his feet…….
Ate the cookies……….

Drank the milk…….

Shit on the paper…….

Screwed the other three cats…….

Claimed he injured his back while doing so……..

Filed a grievance report for unsafe working conditions……..

Put in for Workers Compensation…………….

and

Went home for the rest of the day on sick leave…………

AND THAT, MY FRIEND IS WHY EVERYONE  WANT’S TO WORK FOR THE GOVERNMENT!!

funny email forward

Continue reading about The Four Cats

John on December 21st, 2009

Automotive horror

As a senior citizen was driving down the freeway, his car phone rang. Answering, he heard his wife’s voice urgently warning him, “Herman, I just heard on the news that there’s a car going the wrong way on 280. Please be careful!”

“Heck,” said Herman, “It’s not just one car. It’s hundreds of them!”

old man driving

Continue reading about Hope he has a Hands Free phone!

John on December 21st, 2009

https://i0.wp.com/www.mudtrap.com/images/funny-santa-cartoon-graphic2.jpg?resize=357%2C530

Continue reading about All I want for Christmas