RAMBLINGS OF A RETIRED MINDÂYou know you are old when…
I found this timely, because today I was in a store that sells sunglasses, and only sunglasses. A young sales lady walks over and asks, “What brings you in today?”  Â
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I looked at her, and said, “I’m interested in buying a refrigerator.â€Â She didn’t quite know how to respond.Â
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Am I getting to be that age?ÂYou know you are old when…
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I was thinking about how a status symbol of today is those cell phones that everyone has clipped onto their belt or purse. I can’t afford one. So I’m wearing my garage door opener instead.Â
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I was thinking about old age and decided old age is when you still have something on the ball, but you are just too damn tired to bounce it.Â
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I thought about making a fitness movie for folks my age and calling it “Pumping Rust.”
 You know you are old when…When people see a cat’s litter box they always say, “Oh, have you got a cat?†Just once I want to reply, “No, it’s just for company!â€Â
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Employment application blanks always ask who is to be called in case of an emergency.  I think you should write, “An ambulance.”Â
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Birds of a feather flock together and then potty on your car.Â
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The older you get the tougher it is to lose weight because by then your body and your fat have  gotten to be really close friends.Â
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The easiest way to find something lost around the house is to buy its replacement.Â
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Did you ever notice: The Roman Numerals for forty (40) are XL?Â
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The sole purpose of a child’s middle name is so he can tell when he’sreally in trouble..Â
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Did you ever notice: When you put the 2 words ‘ The’  and ‘ IRS ‘ together it spells  ‘Theirs…’?
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Aging: Eventually you will reach a point when you stop lying about your age and start bragging about it.Â
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Some people try to turn back their “odometers.” Not me. I want people to know ‘why’ I look this way. I’ve traveled a long way and some of the roads weren’t paved.Â
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You know you are getting old when everything either dries up or leaks.
I am not forgetful
Three ladies were discussing the travails of getting older. One said, “Sometimes I catch myself with a jar of mayonnaise in my hand, while standing in front of the refrigerator, and I can’t remember whether I need to put it away, or start making a sandwich.”
The second lady chimed in with, “Yes, sometimes I find myself on the landing of the stairs and can’t remember whether I was on my way up or on my way down.”
The third one responded, ” Well, ladies, I’m glad I don’t have that problem. Knock on wood,” as she rapped her knuckles on the table, and then said, “That must be the door, I’ll get it!”