Recently, I was diagnosed with A.A.A.D.D. –
Age Activated Attention Deficit Disorder.
This is how it manifests:

I decide to water my garden. As I turn on the hose in the driveway,
I look over at my car and decide it needs washing.

As I start toward the garage,
I notice mail on the porch table that
I brought up from the mail box earlier.

I decide to go through the mail before I wash the car.
I lay my car keys on the table,
put the junk mail in the garbage can under the table,
and notice that the can is full.

So, I decide to put the bills back
on the table and take out the garbage first.

But then I think,
since I’m going to be near the mailbox
when I take out the garbage anyway,
I may as well pay the bills first.
I take my check book off the table,
and see that there is only one check left.

My extra checks are in my desk in the study,
so I go inside the house to my desk where
I find the cup of coffee I’d been drinking.

I’m going to look for my checks,
but first I need to push the coffee aside
so that I don’t accidentally knock it over.

The coffee is getting cold,
and I decide to put it in the microwave to reheat it.

As I head toward the kitchen with the coffee,
a vase of flowers on the counter
catches my eye–they need water.

I put the coffee on the counter and
discover my reading glasses that
I’ve been searching for all morning.

I decide I better put them back on my desk,
but first I’m going to water the flowers.

I set the glasses back down on the counter,
fill a container with water and suddenly spot the TV remote.
Someone left it on the kitchen table.

I realize that tonight when we go to watch TV,
I’ll be looking for the remote,
but I won’t remember that it’s on the kitchen table,
so I decide to put it back in the den where it belongs,
but first I’ll water the flowers.

I pour some water in the flowers,
but quite a bit of it spills on the floor.

So, I set the remote back on the table,
get some towels and wipe up the spill.

Then, I head down the hall trying to
remember what I was planning to do.

At the end of the day:

the car isn’t washed

the bills aren’t paid

there is a cold cup of coffee sitting on the counter

the flowers don’t have enough water,

there is still only 1 check in my check book,

I can’t find the remote,

I can’t find my glasses,

and, I don’t remember what I did with the car keys.

Then, when I try to figure out why nothing got done today,
I’m really baffled because I know I was busy all day,
and I’m really tired.

I realize this is a serious problem,
and I’ll try to get some help for it,
but first I’ll check my e-mail….
(How long until I remember I left the hose running all this time?.)

Do me a favor.
Forward this message to everyone you know,
because I don’t remember who the heck I’ve sent it to.

Don’t laugh — if this isn’t you yet, your day is coming!!

funny email forward, memory loss joke, old age and memory loss

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