John on April 15th, 2010

John on April 15th, 2010

John on April 15th, 2010

Past Volcanic Eruptions

Main Image

volcano

John on April 15th, 2010

Does an excellent student of vulcanology graduate magma cum laude?

What did the mama volcano say to the baby volcano? “don’t erupt while I’m talking.”

What did one volcano say to the other? “I lava you”

John on April 15th, 2010


In My Hand I Hold A Ball,

White And Dimpled, And Rather Small.

Oh How Bland It Does Appear,

This Harmless Looking Little Sphere.

By Its Size I Could Not Guess,

Of The Awesome Strength It Does Possess.

But Since I Fell Beneath Its Spell,

I’ve Wandered Through The Fires Of Hell.

My Life Has Not Been Quite The Same,

Since I Chose To Play This Stupid Game.

It Rules My Mind For Hours On End,

A Fortune It Has Made Me Spend.

It Has Made Me Curse And Made Me Cry,

And Hate Myself And Want To Die.

It Promises Me A Thing Called Par,

If I Hit It Straight And Far.

To Master Such A Tiny Ball,

Should Not Be Very Hard At All.

But My Desires The Ball Refuses,

And Does Exactly As It Chooses.

It Hooks And Slices, Dribbles And Dies,

And Disappears Before My Eyes.

Often It Will Have A Whim,

To Hit A Tree Or Take A Swim.

With Miles Of Grass On Which To Land,

It Finds A Tiny Patch Of Sand.

Then Has Me Offering Up My Soul,

If Only It Would Find The Hole.

It’s Made Me Whimper Like A Pup,

And Swear That I Will Give It Up.

And Take To Drink To Ease My Sorrow,

But The Ball Knows … I’ll Be Back Tomorrow.


Stand proud you noble swingers of club and losers of balls

A recent study found the average golfer walks about 900 miles a year.

Another study found golfers drink, on average, 22 gallons of alcohol a year.

That means, on average, golfers get about 41 miles to the gallon.

Kind of makes you proud.  Almost feels like a hybrid.

Iceland’s volcano ash is so dangerous that flying through the dust particles has been described by a pilot as being ‘a bit like negotiating one’s way up a badger’s arse”.

Airline traffic in Britain and other parts of northern Europe is at a standstill because of ash and smoke spewing into the air from a volcano in Iceland.

The ash, which can damage a plane’s engine, has blown as far south as London, officials said, forcing airlines to cancel hundreds of flights in the United Kingdom and Scandinavia.

icelandmap

Smoke billows from a volcano in Iceland in Wednesday. Volcanic ash is disrupting flights in parts of northern Europe

A passenger waiting at Edinburgh Airport, where flights have been cancelled

John on April 14th, 2010

funny fitness ad

John on April 14th, 2010

520-bad-parachute

John on April 13th, 2010

I didn’t know they held a Miss Earth Pageant!!!

The New Miss Earth CrownThe Miss Earth crown has become a symbol of unparalleled pulchritude and enduring advocacy through the years. To underscore and remind the Miss Earth titleholders the responsibilities that come with this crown, Carousel Productions commissioned the Official Jeweller of Miss Earth, Ms. Ramona Haar, an ecologically-minded artist, to design and craft a new Miss Earth crown. This radiant masterpiece that embodies a broader meaning of “beauties for a cause” was unveiled last November 16, 2009.

The new design features various gemstones endemic to the countries participating in Miss Earth Pageant, which they donated as a symbol of cooperation and unity towards a universal goal of saving Mother Earth. To lessen the environmental impact of mining, the new crown is made of 100% recycled 14K Gold and Argentums Sterling Silver. The central design is a flower to symbolize a happy and thriving earth. As Ralph Waldo Emerson puts it, “the earth laughs in flowers.” The recurring spiral motif, on the other hand, has always been associated with maternal power and feminine prestige.

For More information on Earth Day, check out the following site:

http://celebrateearthday.blogspot.com/

John on April 12th, 2010

fun for older people

GREAT TRUTHS THAT ADULTS HAVE LEARNED:

1) Raising teenagers is like nailing jelly to a tree.

2) Wrinkles don’t hurt.

3) Families are like fudge — mostly sweet, with a few nuts.

4) Today’s mighty oak is just yesterday’s nut that held its ground.

5) Laughing is good exercise. It’s like jogging on the inside.

6) Middle age is when you choose your cereal for the fiber, not the toy.

GREAT TRUTHS ABOUT GROWING OLD

1) Growing old is mandatory; growing up is optional.

2) Forget the health food. We need all the preservatives we can get.

3) When you fall down, you wonder what else you can do while you’re down there.

4) You’re getting old when you get the same sensation from a rocking chair that you once got from a roller coaster.

5) It’s frustrating when you know all the answers but nobody bothers to ask you the questions.

6) Time may be a great healer, but it’s a lousy beautician.

7) Wisdom comes with age, but sometimes age comes alone.