John on November 1st, 2017

Sarah Huckabee Sanders is pretty funny. I wonder what history will say about herZ?

 

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John on October 24th, 2017

Donald Trump Is A ‘Dangerous Clown’ On The New Yorker’

This week’s cover, “October Surprise,” by Carter Goodrich

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John on October 19th, 2017

TRUMP: THE KING OF FAKE NEWS

and the Biggest MORON of all time

Can’t wait to see the Movie about the idiot Trump!

 

 

How many lies has Trump told?

 

Toronto Star: How many lies?

 

 

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John on October 11th, 2017

Who are the people who support Trump?

Must be the Dumbest people on earth!

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John on September 28th, 2017

Couple in their nineties are both having problems remembering things. During a check-up, the doctor tells them that they’re physically okay, but they might want to start writing things down to help them remember ..

Later that night, while watching TV, the old man gets up from his chair ‘Want anything while I’m in the kitchen?’ he asks.

‘Will you get me a bowl of ice cream?’


‘Sure.’


‘Don’t you think you should write it down so you can remember it?’ she asks.


‘No, I can remember it.’


‘Well, I’d like some strawberries on top, too. Maybe you should write it down, so as not to forget it?’


He says, ‘I can remember that. You want a bowl of ice cream with strawberries.’


‘I’d also like whipped cream. I’m certain y

ou’ll forget that, write it down?’ she asks.

Irritated, he says, ‘I don’t need to write it down, I can remember it! Ice cream with strawberries and whipped cream – I got it, for goodness sake!’


Then he toddles into the kitchen. After about 20 minutes, the old man returns from the kitchen and hands his wife a plate of bacon and eggs. She stares at the plate for a moment.

 

‘Where’s my toast?’



 

 

 

 

 

 

An elderly couple had dinner at another couple’s house, and after eating, the wives left the table and went into the kitchen. 
The two gentlemen were talking, and one said, ‘Last night we went out to a new restaurant and it was really great I would recommend it very highly.’ 
The other man said, ‘What is the name of the restaurant?’ 
The first man thought and thought and finally said, ‘What’s the name of that flower you give to someone you love? You know, the one that’s red and has thorns.’ 
‘Do you mean a rose?’
‘Yes, that’s the one,’ replied the man. He then turned towards the kitchen and yelled, ‘Rose, what’s the name of that restaurant we went to last night?’
 


Hospital regulations require a wheel chair for patients being discharged. However, while working as a student nurse, I found one elderly gentleman already dressed and sitting on the bed with a suitcase at his feet, who insisted he didn’t need my help to leave the hospital.
After a chat about rules being rules, he reluctantly let me wheel him to the elevator. 
On the way down I asked him if his wife was meeting him.
‘I don’t know,’ he said. ‘She’s still upstairs in the bathroom changing out of her hospital gown.’

 

 

 

A senior citizen said to his eighty-year old buddy: 
‘So I hear you’re getting married?’ 
‘Yep!’ 
‘Do I know her?’ 
‘Nope!’ 
‘This woman, is she good looking?’ 
‘Not really.’ 
‘Is she a good cook?’ 
‘Nah, she can’t cook too well.’ 
‘Does she have lots of money?’ 
‘Nope! Poor as a church mouse.’ 
‘Well, then, is she good in bed?’ 
‘I don’t know.’

’Why in the world do you want to marry her then?’

‘Because she can still drive!’ 


A man was telling his neighbour, ‘I just bought a new hearing aid. It cost me four thousand dollars, but it’s state of the art. It’s perfect.’ 

‘Really,’ answered the neighbour. ‘What kind is it?’ 
‘Twelve thirty.’ 


Morris, an 82 year-old man, went to the doctor to get a physical. 

A few days later, the doctor saw Morris walking down the street with a gorgeous young woman on his arm. 
A couple of days later, the doctor spoke to Morris and said, ‘You’re really doing great, aren’t you?’ 
Morris replied, ‘Just doing what you said, Doc: ‘Get a hot mamma and be cheerful.”
The doctor said, ‘I didn’t say that.. I said, ‘You’ve got a heart murmur; be careful.’
 

 

 

 

 

 

One more……..

A little old man shuffled slowly into an ice cream parlour and pulled himself slowly, painfully, up onto a stool… After catching his breath, he ordered a banana split.
The waitress asked kindly, ‘Crushed nuts?’
‘No,’ he replied, ‘Arthritis.’

 

Now, before you ‘forget’, send them on to some other folks you know who could use a good laugh!

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John on September 23rd, 2017

Trump Called White Supremacists

‘Very Fine People’

But An Athlete Who Protests

Is A ‘Son Of A Bitch’

WHO ARE THE IDIOTS THAT SUPPORT THIS IDIOT PRESIDENT.

It used to be an honor to be invited to the White House. Not now, with Trump there!

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John on September 14th, 2017

It’s an international embarrassment that the United States is the only major country on earth that doesn’t guarantee health care to all people as a right. Trump is the embarrassment!!!

___ so says Bernie Sanders. Wouldn’t it be great if we had Bernie as President?

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John on September 14th, 2017

TIME TO IMPEACH TRUMP. BETTER SOONER THAN LATER!!!

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John on August 16th, 2017

Thought you knew everything?

Stewardesses is the longest word
typed with only the left hand. 

 


And ‘lollipop’ is the longest word typed
with your right hand. 
(Bet you just tried these out mentally, didn’t you?)

 

 

 

No word in the English language rhymes with 
month , orange,silver, or purple. 

 

‘ Dreamt’ is the only English word that ends in the letters ‘mt’.  
(Are you doubting this?)

 

Our eyes are always the same size from birth,
but our nose and ears never stop growing.

 

 

 

 

The sentence:

‘The quick brown fox jumps over the lazy dog’

 

uses every letter of the alphabet. 
(Now, you KNOW you’re going to try this out for accuracy, right?)

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

The words ‘racecar,’  

‘kayak’

and ‘level’

are the same whether they are read left to right   or right to left (palindromes).  
(Yep, I knew you were going to ‘do’ this one.)

 

There are only four words in the English language which end in ‘dous’: tremendous, horrendous, stupendous, and hazardous.   
(You’re not possibly still doubting any of this, are you ?)

 

There are two words in the English language that have all five vowels in order: ‘abstemious’ and ‘facetious.’ 
(Okay, admit it, you just went through  a-e-i-o-u  in your head)  

 


TYPEWRITER  is the longest word that can be made using the letters only on one row of the keyboard. 
(All you typists are going to test this out)

 

A cat has 32 muscles in each ear 

 

 

 

 

A goldfish has a memory span of three seconds 
(And, some days I think I  m right there with them.)


A ‘jiffy’    is an actual unit of time, 1/100th of a second.

 


A shark is the only fish that can blink with both eyes.  


A snail can sleep for three years. 
(I know some people that could do this too!)  

 

 

 

 

 


Almonds are a member of the peach family. 


An ostrich’s eye is bigger than its brain. 
(I know some people like that also . Actually I know A LOT of people like this!)

 

 

Babies are born without kneecaps

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

They don’t appear until the child reaches 2 to 6 years of age.

 

 


February 1865 is the only month in recorded history not to have a full moon. 

 

In the last 4,000 years, no new animals have been domesticated.  

 

If the population of China  walked past you, 8 abreast,
the line would never end because of the rate of reproduction. 

 


Leonardo Da Vinci invented the scissors

 


Peanuts are one of the ingredients of dynamite!

 

Rubber bands last longer when refrigerated.

 


The average person’s left hand does 56% of the typing.

 

 

 

 

 

 

The cruise liner, QE 2,

moves only six inches for each gallon of diesel that it burns.

 

The microwave was invented after a researcher walked by a radar tube and a chocolate bar melted in his pocket.
(Good thing he didn  t have dynamite.)

 

 

The winter of 1932 was so cold that Niagara Falls 
froze completely solid

 

 

 

There are more chickens than people in the world. 

 

 

 


Winston Churchill

was born in a ladies’ room during a dance.

 

Women blink nearly twice as much as men.

 

 

Now you know a lot more than you did before!!

 

 

The Rain-   Thomas Kinkade  

This is a Thomas Kinkade painting It’s rumoured to carry a miracle!
They say if you pass this on, you will receive a miracle.


I am passing this on because I thought it was neat

and besides, who couldn’t use a miracle?!

 

 

  Now you know everything ……………………….. ……………………..

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John on August 2nd, 2017

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