After all, laughter is the best medicine.
“My wife said that her wildest sexual fantasy would be if I got my own apartment. -Rodney Dangerfield
Some people, Like Rodney Dangerfield, are just naturally funny.
Some people, Like Donald Trump, are funny…
The rest of us have to prepare in order to tell a good joke.
But the most important advice I can give about How to tell a good joke is, start with a good joke.
Then, choose the right target. The joke needs to be suited to your audience.
It helps if the joke has a little truth in it.
Tell a joke about recent events.
Exaggerate, just a little.
Create anticipation ~~~ “Take my wife – please!” -Henny Youngman
Make the joke your own. Make it about something in your personal life.
And practise, practise, practise!
“Ah, Signor Halt,’ he said uncertainly, ‘you are making a joke, yes?’
‘He is making a joke, no,’ Will said. ‘But he likes to think he is making a joke, yes.”
― John Flanagan,
Jane Goodall Says Donald Trump Reminds Her Of How Chimpanzees Act To Get Attention
In Trump, Goodall sees a male chimpanzee trying to gain dominance by making as much noise as possible.
In many ways the performances of Donald Trump remind me of male chimpanzees and their dominance rituals,” Goodall said. “In order to impress rivals, males seeking to rise in the dominance hierarchy perform spectacular displays: stamping, slapping the ground, dragging branches, throwing rocks. The more vigorous and imaginative the display, the faster the individual is likely to rise in the hierarchy, and the longer he is likely to maintain that position.”
Olympic Games History
2500 years ago a slave call girl from Sardinia named Gedophamee (pronounced Get-offa’-me) was attending the first athletic festival in Greece. This festival had no name.
In those days the athletes performed naked and to prevent unwanted arousal while competing, the men imbibed freely on a drink containing saltpeter.
At the opening ceremonial parade of this first great event, Gedophamee observed the first wave of naked athletic males marching toward her and she exclaimed: “Oh! Limp pricks!”.
Over the next two and a half millennia that expression morphed into “Olympics”.
Now you know….
Don’t bother to thank me, I enjoy discussing history.
Are you as moral as you think you are?
This test only has one question, but it’s a very important one.
By giving an honest answer, you will discover where you stand morally.
The test features an unlikely, completely fictional situation in which you will have to make a decision.
Only you will know the results, so remember that your answer needs to be honest.
You are in Florida, Miami to be specific.
There is chaos all around you caused by a hurricane with severe flooding.
This is a flood of biblical proportions.
You are a photojournalist working for a major newspaper, and you’re caught in the middle of this epic disaster.
The situation is nearly hopeless.
You’re trying to shoot career-making photos.
There are houses and people swirling around you, some disappearing under the water.
Suddenly you see a man in the water.
He is fighting for his life, trying not to be taken down with the debris.
You move closer.
Somehow the man looks familiar.
You suddenly realize who it is.
It’s Donald Trump!
At the same time you notice that the raging waters are about to take him under forever.
YOU HAVE TWO OPTIONS:
You can save the life of Donald Trump or you can shoot a dramatic Pulitzer Prize winning photo, documenting the death of one of the world’s most powerful Republican men hell bent on the destruction of America.
Here’s the question, and please give an honest answer.
“Would you select high contrast color film, or would you go with the classic simplicity of black and white?”
Would you believe the email spell checker did not recognize the word murgatroyd?
Lost Words from our childhood: Words gone as fast as the buggy whip! Sad really! The other day a not so elderly (65) lady said something to her son about driving a Jalopy and he looked at her quizzically and said what the heck is a Jalopy? OMG (new) phrase! He never heard of the word jalopy!! She knew she was old but not that old… Well, I hope you are Hunky Dory after you read this and chuckle…
About a month ago, I illuminated some old expressions that have become obsolete because of the inexorable march of technology. These phrases included “Don’t touch that dial,” “Carbon copy,” “You sound like a broken record” and “Hung out to dry.
Back in the olden days we had a lot of moxie. We’d put on our best bib and tucker to straighten up and fly right. Heavens to Betsy! Gee whillikers! Jumping Jehoshaphat! Holy moley! We were in like Flynn and living the life of Riley, and even a regular guy couldn’t accuse us of being a knucklehead, a nincompoop or a pill. Not for all the tea in China !
Back in the olden days, life used to be swell, but when’s the last time anything was swell? Swell has gone the way of beehives, pageboys and the D.A.; of spats, knickers, fedoras, poodle skirts, saddle shoes and pedal pushers. Oh, my aching back. Kilroy was here, but he isn’t anymore.
We wake up from what surely has been just a short nap, and before we can say, well I’ll be a monkey’s uncle!, or, This is a fine kettle of fish!, We discover that the words we grew up with,- the words that seemed omnipresent, as oxygen, have vanished with scarcely a notice from our tongues and our pens and our keyboards. Poof, go the words of our youth, the words we’ve left behind. We blink, and they’re gone.
Where have all those phrases gone? Long gone: Pshaw, The milkman did it. Hey! It’s your nickel. Don’t forget to pull the chain. Knee high to a grasshopper. Well, Fiddlesticks! Going like sixty. I’ll see you in the funny papers. Don’t take any wooden nickels’ Heavens to Murgatroyd! It turns out there are more of these lost words and expressions than Carter has liver pills. This can be disturbing stuff!
We of a certain age have been blessed to live in changeful times. For a child each new word is like a shiny toy, a toy that has no age. We at the other end of the chronological arc have the advantage of remembering there are words that once did not exist and there were words that once strutted their hour upon the earthly stage and now are heard no more, except in our collective memory. It’s one of the greatest advantages of aging. See ya later, alligator!