Maybe I’ll stop watching, baseball, hockey, and football for a few hours on Mother’s Day.
Maybe not!
Continue reading about Happy Mother’s Day from Maxine and Maxine’s Husband- Great Gift idea!
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An ode to mothers! They have toiled, they have sacrificed, they have given more than we can ever imagine possible. Here is a special collection of Mother’s Day Quotes for our boldest and gentlest mothers. If you can’t say it with words, say it with these quotes.
- John Erskine
Woman in the home has not yet lost her dignity, in spite of Mother’s Day, with its offensive implication that our love needs an annual nudging, like our enthusiasm for the battle of Bunker Hill.
- Oscar Wilde
All women become like their mothers. That is their tragedy. No man does. That’s his.
- Rajneesh
The moment a child is born, the mother is also born. She never existed before. The woman existed, but the mother, never. A mother is something absolutely new.
- Peter de Vries
A suburban mother’s role is to deliver children obstetrically once, and by car forever after.
- Author Unknown
All mothers are working mothers.
- Oliver Wendell Holmes
The real religion of the world comes from women much more than from men – from mothers most of all, who carry the key of our souls in their bosoms.
- Helen Hunt Jackson
Motherhood is priced; Of God, at price no man may dare/To lessen or misunderstand.
- Barbara Kingsolver
It kills you to see them grow up. But I guess it would kill you quicker if they didn’t.
- Jewish Proverb
God could not be everywhere and therefore he made mothers.
- Abraham Lincoln
I remember my mother’s prayers and they have always followed me. They have clung to me all my life.
- Mildred B Vermont
Being a full-time mother is one of the highest salaried jobs… since the payment is pure love.
- Henry Bickersteth
If the whole world were put into one scale, and my mother in the other, the whole world would kick the beam.
- T. DeWitt Talmage
Mother – that was the bank where we deposited all our hurts and worries.
- Chinese Proverb
There is only one pretty child in the world, and every mother has it.
Woman in the home has not yet lost her dignity, in spite of Mother’s Day, with its offensive implication that our love needs an annual nudging, like our enthusiasm for the battle of Bunker Hill.
All women become like their mothers. That is their tragedy. No man does. That’s his.
The moment a child is born, the mother is also born. She never existed before. The woman existed, but the mother, never. A mother is something absolutely new.
A suburban mother’s role is to deliver children obstetrically once, and by car forever after.
All mothers are working mothers.
The real religion of the world comes from women much more than from men – from mothers most of all, who carry the key of our souls in their bosoms.
Motherhood is priced; Of God, at price no man may dare/To lessen or misunderstand.
It kills you to see them grow up. But I guess it would kill you quicker if they didn’t.
God could not be everywhere and therefore he made mothers.
I remember my mother’s prayers and they have always followed me. They have clung to me all my life.
Being a full-time mother is one of the highest salaried jobs… since the payment is pure love.
If the whole world were put into one scale, and my mother in the other, the whole world would kick the beam.
Mother – that was the bank where we deposited all our hurts and worries.
There is only one pretty child in the world, and every mother has it.
Good bet: Organic and/or locally-grown flowers
Better yet: A potted plant that comes with an offer to help plant it in her garden
Good bet: Organic and/or fair trade chocolates
Better yet: Hand-made goodies from your own kitchen
Good bet: Cards that are made from recycled paper, “tree-free†materials such as hemp or botanical paper embedded with seeds for planting
Better yet: Handmade cards made from recycled materials that send the message, “I care enough about you to make a one-of-a-kind greeting that is as unique as you are.â€
Good bet: Natural personal care products and perfumes that are made from essential oils and natural ingredients
Better yet: A gift certificate for a spa treatment or a natural therapy such as a massage, aromatherapy or reflexology
Good bet: Brunch at her favourite restaurant
Better yet: A picnic lovingly prepared and served in her own backyard
Good bet: Gift wrap made from recycled materials
Better yet: Use tea towels or hand towels for gift wrap that can be reused over and over.
Continue reading about Mother’s Day gifts that don’t cost the Earth!
Standing Women
This Mother’s Day women from around the world will stand together in silence for five minutes at exactly 1 p.m. They will stand in silence and think about how they can bring about a better world. Their mantra:
We are standing for the world’s children and grandchildren, and for the seven generations beyond them.
We dream of a world where all of our children have safe drinking water, clean air to breathe and enough food to eat.
A world where they have access to a basic education to develop their minds and healthcare to mature their growing bodies.
A world where they have a warm, safe and loving place to call home.
Mother’s Day – May 9, 2010, 1pm Local Time
http://www.standingwomen.org/
Standing Women will stand together
across the globe every year on the
second Sunday in May at 1 p.m.
local time with those in their time zone.
Feel free to stand with a different time zone
if another hour is more convenient for you.A world where they don’t live in fear of violence – in their home, their neighbourhood, in their school or in their world.
This is the world of which we dream.
This is the cause for which we stand.
Will you join them? For more information, or to register, visit www.standingwomen.org.
“Just wait until your father gets home.”
My Mother taught me to ‘meet a challenge.’
“What were you thinking? Answer me when I talk to you! Don’t talk back to me!”
My Mother taught me ‘logic.’
“If I told you once, I’ve told you a million times. Don’t exaggerate!”
My mother taught me the ‘circle of Life.’
“I brought you into this world, and I can take you out.”
My mother taught me about ‘behavior modification.’
“Stop acting like your father!”
One day the mother allowed the boy to feel the movements of the unborn child. The six-year old was obviously impressed, but made no comment. Furthermore, he stopped telling his teacher about the impending event.
The teacher finally sat the boy on her lap and said, “Tommy, whatever has become of that baby brother or sister you were expecting at home?”
Tommy burst into tears and confessed, “I think Mommy ate it!”
Cook a man a fish and you feed him for a day.
But teach a man to fish and you get rid of him for the whole weekend.
Check out the following site for more jokes, stories, free animations and poems about Mother’s Day:
http://mothersdayfunontheweb.blogspot.com/
Continue reading about Short and Funny Mother’s Day Jokes – My Mother taught me…
A toaster – never
Or any Household Appliances
Exercise Equipment – sends the wrong message!
Breakfast in Bed – Bad, messy idea!
Lottery Tickets – $2 ticket not too thoughtfull. Chance of winning-nill!
Email card – can’t replace the good old real card.
Bath sets – don’t you just hate how they pile up under the sink!?
Yard Tools – no way!
New BBQ – it’s the only break a woman gets when the guy cooks. Who is the gift rreally for?
Pets – can you believe it?
A list of things you will do for her. – never happens!
A Mug – how many does she need?
Toilet Bowl Brush – can you imagine?
New dust mop or vacuum cleaner – just as bad
Nothing, Â because,”You”re not my Mother .” and that’s when the fight started…
ANY ideas, please email them to me. Thanks
Continue reading about Maxine’s Worst Gifts for your Mother or Wife for Mother’s Day
** What to get my mother for Mother’s Day????
1. What is the meaning of life?
2. Is there a God?
3. Will I get laid tonight?
4. Why is there suffering and death?
5. Is there life on other planets?
6. Which are better, dogs or cats?
7. How can I lose weight and keep it off?
8. Do I really have a soul Mate?
9. When will the world end?
10. Why do men lose their hair?
Answers to follow when I get them!!!
funny emails to forward
Over the centuries mothers have given their children plenty of good advice; here are some examples which Will and Guy find quite amusing.
HUMPTY DUMPTY’S MOTHER: Humpty, If I’ve told you once, I’ve told you a hundred times not to sit on that wall. But would you listen to me? No!
COLUMBUS’S MOTHER: I don’t care what you’ve discovered, Christopher. You could have written.
MICHELANGELO’S MOTHER: Mike, can’t you paint on walls like other children? Do you have any idea how hard it is to get that stuff off the ceiling?
NAPOLEON’S MOTHER: All right, Napoleon. If you aren’t hiding your report card inside your jacket, then take your hand out of there and prove it.
GOLDILOCKS’S MOTHER: I’ve got a bill here for a broken chair from the Bear family. Do you know anything about this Goldie?
ALBERT EINSTEIN’S MOTHER: But, Albert, it’s your senior picture. Can’t you do something about your hair? Styling gel, mousse, something…?
THOMAS EDISON’S MOTHER: Of course I’m proud that you invented the electric light bulb, Thomas. Now turn off that light and get to bed!
Continue reading about More Jokes and advice from Moms for Mother’s Day
Head of the Household
My husband, Jeff, and I incurred several problems while assembling our new computer system, so we called the help desk. The man on the phone started to talk to Jeff in computer jargon, which confused us even more.
“Sir,” my husband politely said, “please explain what I should do as if I were a four-year-old.”
“Okay,” the computer technician replied. “Son, could you please put your mommy on the phone?”
Your Biggest Fan
While waiting in a bookstore for a guest author to sign her latest book, I leafed through some of the Civil War novels she had written. The woman in line behind me commented, “Those are the best books I’ve ever read. I couldn’t put them down.”
Before I could reply, the author looked over and said, “Oh, cut it out, Mom!”
Wonder Chef
To help a busy mother get away for a two-week vacation (Mother’s Day Gift), my sister agreed to stay with the woman’s three children. On the first evening, she cooked one of their favorite meals. To the youngsters’ delight, dinner after dinner, she “guessed” what they liked. When my sister returned home, we asked her what the secret of her success was. “Each afternoon I would flip through the cookbook until I found a page that was ripped, smudged and food-splattered,” she explained. “Then I would make that recipe. It worked every time!”
Funny Jokes for Mother’s Day
After putting her children to bed, Jacqui changes into her old jeans and a worn out blouse and proceeds to wash her hair. As she hears the children getting more and more noisy in their bedroom, her tolerance grows thin. At last Jacqui wraps a towel around her wet head and storms into their room, putting them back to bed and giving them severe warnings. While leaving the room, she overhears her three-year-old say in a shaky voice, ‘Who was “that”?’
Good Bye Mother
A young man was walking through a supermarket to pick up a few things when he noticed an old lady following him around. Thinking nothing of it, he ignored her and continued on. Finally he went to the checkout line, but she got in front of him.
“Pardon me,” she said, “I’m sorry if my staring at you has made you feel uncomfortable. It’s just that you look just like my son, who I haven’t seen in a long time.”
“That’s a shame,” replied the young man, “is there anything I can do for you?”
“Yes,” she said, “as I’m leaving, can you say ‘Good bye, Mother!’ It would make me feel so much better.”
“Sure,” answered the young man. As the old woman was leaving, he called out, “Good bye, Mother!” As he stepped up to the checkout counter, he saw that his total was $127.50. “How can that be?” he asked, “I only purchased a few things!”
“Your mother said that you would pay for her,” said the clerk.
Continue reading about Jokes and cute stories for Moms and About Moms for Mother’s Day