Short and Funny Mother’s Day Jokes – My Mother taught me…

My Mother taught me about ‘anticipation.’
“Just wait until your father gets home.”
My Mother taught me to ‘meet a challenge.’
“What were you thinking? Answer me when I talk to you! Don’t talk back to me!”
My Mother taught me ‘logic.’

“If you fall out off that swing and break your neck, you’re not going to the store with me.”

You spend a half hour searching for your sunglasses only to have your teenager say, “Mom, why don’t you wear the ones you pushed up on your head?”

You hear a baby cry in the grocery store, and you start to gently sway back and forth, back and forth. However, your children are at school!

My mother taught me about ‘hypocrisy.’
“If I told you once, I’ve told you a million times. Don’t exaggerate!”
My mother taught me the ‘circle of Life.’
“I brought you into this world, and I can take you out.”
My mother taught me about ‘behavior modification.’
“Stop acting like your father!”

For weeks a six-year old lad kept telling his first-grade teacher about the baby brother or sister that was expected at his house.
One day the mother allowed the boy to feel the movements of the unborn child. The six-year old was obviously impressed, but made no comment. Furthermore, he stopped telling his teacher about the impending event.
The teacher finally sat the boy on her lap and said, “Tommy, whatever has become of that baby brother or sister you were expecting at home?”
Tommy burst into tears and confessed, “I think Mommy ate it!”

Mother to daughter advice:
Cook a man a fish and you feed him for a day.
But teach a man to fish and you get rid of him for the whole weekend.

The mother of three notoriously unruly youngsters was asked whether or not she’d have children if she had it to do over again. “Yes,” she replied. “But not the same ones.

Check out the following site for more jokes, stories, free animations and poems about Mother’s Day:

http://mothersdayfunontheweb.blogspot.com/