Starting the week at 200 – 1 odds to win, Louis Ossthuizen takes the lead on day two and never looked back. What a great performance. Wish I could swing like him!!!
Nelson Mandela turns 92. Great birthday present. After celebrating a very successful, 2010 FIFA World Cup, South Africa must be partying again tonight! Take the Vuvuzelas out of storage!
The winner of this month’s British Open at St. Andrews will receive 850,000 pounds ($1.3 million) after officials increased prize money for the first time in three years.
The prize fund for golf’s oldest major championship will be 4.8 million pounds, the Royal and Ancient Golf Club said in a statement. It was 4.2 million the past three championships, with the winner receiving 750,000 pounds.
“The Open Championship sits at the forefront of world golf and it is appropriate that our prize fund reflects that position in the game,†R&A Chief Executive Peter Daw said. “Over the last 18 months we have had to take account of the pound’s weakened position against the U.S. dollar and euro and we have increased our prize money accordingly.â€
Since mid-2007, the pound has declined about 25 percent against the dollar and 19 percent against the euro.
Interesting that Larry Hagman, the Oil Barren on Dallas, has gone green.
“People just don’t understand that when the end of affordable energy comes, it’s going to be chaos. What do we do to prevent that?â€
To that end, Hagman took his nine-bedroom, 18 000 square foot,14 1/2 -bathroom Mediterranean-style estate off-grid in 2003, causing his annual electric bill to plummet.
In his personal life, Larry Hagman had followed through his own words. The 78-year-old actor and his wife Maj own the largest residential solar-power system in the United States. Since he first installed the solar power system in 2003, the annual electric bill for his mountaintop home and 46-acre farm plummeted from $37,000 to $13 overnight, according to a press release.
Continue reading about Larry Hagman goes Solar -Shine baby shine!
BP Says That Oil Flow Has Stopped as Cap Is Tested
“I am very excited that there’s no oil in the Gulf of Mexico,†Kent Wells, a senior vice president for BP, said about the flow during a teleconference on Thursday, “but we just started the test and I don’t want to create a false sense of excitement.â€
No oil in the Gulf of Mexico!!!!
How many gallons have gushed from the well
in the last three months????
Maxine and I operate a small but growing business and we needed to hire a new employee. I threw this application in the garbage. Maxine (without me knowing) replied to Bryan!
****************
To hoom it mae cunsern,
I waunt to apply for the job what I saw in the paper.
I can Type realee quik wit one finggar and do sum a counting..
I think I am good on the phone and I no I am a pepole person,
Pepole really seam to respond
to me well. Certain men and all the ladies.
I no my spelling is not to good but fi nd that I Offen can get a job thru my persinalety.
My salerery is open so we can discus wat you want to pay me and wat you think that I am werth,
I can start emeditely. Thank you in advanse fore yore anser.
hopifuly Yore best aplicant so farr.
Sinseerly,
BRYAN
PS : Because my resimay is a bit short – below is a pickture of me.
Maxine’s response:
Dear Bryan ,
It’s OK honey, we’ve got spell check.
See you Monday.
Maxine
AND THAT’S WHEN THE FIGHT STARTED…
What does she see in Bryan? I bet he doesn’t even drink beer!
Continue reading about Maxine and the Job Interview -Speling doesnt mattor
I think this a great song! The lyrics are outstanding!
Ooohh New York x2
Grew up in a town that is famous as the place of movie scenes
Noise was always loud, there are sirens all around and the streets are mean
If I can make it here, I can make it anywhere, that’s what they say
Seeing my face in lights or my name on marquees found down on Broadway
Even if it ain’t all it seems, I got a pocketful of dreams
Baby, I’m from New York
Concrete jungle where dreams are made of
There’s nothing you can’t do
Now you’re in New York
These streets will make you feel brand new
Big lights will inspire you
Hear it for New York, New York, New York!
On the avenue, there ain’t never a curfew, ladies work so hard
Such a melting pot, on the corner selling rock, preachers pray to God
Hail a gypsy cab, takes me down from Harlem to the Brooklyn Bridge
Some will sleep tonight with a hunger far more than an empty fridge
I’m gonna make it by any means, I got a pocketful of dreams
Baby, I’m from New York
Concrete jungle where dreams are made of
There’s nothing you can’t do
Now you’re in New York
These street will make you feel brand new
Big lights will inspire you
Hear it for New York, New York, New York!
One hand in the air for the big city,
Street lights, big dreams all looking pretty
No place in the world that can compare
Put your lighters in the air, everybody say yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah
In New York
Concrete jungle where dreams are made of
There’s nothing you can’t do
http://www.elyricsworld.com/empire_state_of_mind_(part_ii)_lyrics_alicia_keys.html
Now you’re in New York
These streets will make you feel brand new
Big lights will inspire you
Now you’re in New York!
Concrete jungle where dreams are made of
There’s nothing you can’t do
Now you’re in New York
These street will make you feel brand new
Big lights will inspire you
Hear it for New York!
From Wikipedia:
Alicia Augello Cook (born January 25, 1981), better known by her stage name Alicia Keys, is an American recording artist, musician and actress. She was raised by a single mother in the Hell’s Kitchen area of Manhattan in New York City. At age seven, Keys began to play classical music on the piano. She attended Professional Performing Arts School and graduated at 16 as valedictorian. She later attended Columbia University before dropping out to pursue her music career. Keys released her debut album with J Records, having had previous record deals first with Columbia and then Arista Records.
Keys’ debut album, Songs in A Minor, was a commercial success, selling over 12 million copies worldwide. She became the best-selling new artist and best-selling R&B artist of 2001. The album earned Keys five Grammy Awards in 2002, including Best New Artist and Song of the Year for “Fallin’“. Her second studio album, The Diary of Alicia Keys, was released in 2003 and was also another success worldwide, selling eight million copies. The album garnered her an additional four Grammy Awards in 2005. Later that year, she released her first live album, Unplugged, which debuted at number one in the United States. She became the first female to have an MTV Unplugged album to debut at number one and the highest since Nirvana in 1994.
Keys made guest appearances on several television series in the following years, beginning with Charmed. She made her film debut in Smokin’ Aces and went on to appear in The Nanny Diaries in 2007. Her third studio album, As I Am, was released in the same year and sold six million copies worldwide, earning Keys an additional three Grammy Awards. The following year, she appeared in The Secret Life of Bees, which earned her a nomination at the NAACP Image Awards. She released her fourth album, The Element of Freedom, in December 2009, which became Keys’ first chart-topping album in the United Kingdom. Throughout her career, Keys has wonnumerous awards and has sold over 30 million albums worldwide. Billboard magazine named her the top R&B artist of the 2000–2009 decade, establishing herself as one of the best-selling artists of her time.
Keys performing at Pavilhão Atlântico in Lisbon, Portugal on March 19, 2008
| Alicia Keys | |
|---|---|
Keys performing at Pavilhão Atlântico in Lisbon, Portugal on March 19, 2008
|
|
| Background information | |
| Birth name | Alicia Augello Cook |
| Also known as | Lellow |
| Born | January 25, 1981Â |
| Origin | New York City, New York, United States |
| Genres | R&B, soul, pop |
| Occupations | Singer-songwriter, multi-instrumentalist, composer,arranger, record producer, actress, music video director, author, poet |
| Instruments | Vocals, piano, keyboards,cello, synthesizer, vocoder,guitar, bass guitar |
| Years active | 1985–present |
| Labels | Columbia, Arista, J |
| Website | www.aliciakeys.com |
Continue reading about New York – Alicia Keys – Empire State Of Mind (Part II) Lyrics – Bio
1. Just loved these songs! Great memories from the 2010 World Cup in South Africa!
Shakir – Waka Waka, This time for Africa
K’naan – Wavin’ Flag
2. Damn Vuvuzelas
3. Beautiful Sexy Fans
I couldn’t understand what FIFA had against the fans in Orange. I love that colour!
4. Diego Maradona -What a character!
5. England, France, and Italy being eliminated.
6. World Cup Jokes
You heard about the England bra?
All support, no cup.
What’s the differnce between a cup of coffee and England? Coffee stays in the cup longer.
Argentina are playing England in the world cup, and Messi says to the team, “listen you all seem tired, why don’t you have a night off, have a drink and I’ll play by myself.†So they agree and Messi goes to play England by himself.
At half time the Argentinian team check the score and they see ARG 1-0 ENG (Messi 37th min). They’re all impressed and get back to what theyre doing.
After the match finishes they check the score and see ARG 1-1 ENG (Lampard 85th min). They go to their dressing room and see Messi with his head in his hands. They tell him, “Come on, cheer up you got a draw all by yourself, that’s great.â€Messi replies, “No you don’t understand, I got sent off in the 60th minute.â€
John Terry reckons the players missed their friends and family… remind me again what he does with his friend’s family?
John Terry is so traumatized he won’t be able to sleep with a teammate’s wife for WEEKS.
In a class, the teacher is asking everyone what jobs their parents have…
Teacher to kid: and what does your dad do?
Jimmy: he’s a stripper in a gay bar and often lets other men touch his privates
After class, teacher takes Jimmy to one side…
Teacher: is that true about your dad?
Jimmy: no, he plays football for england but I was too embarassed to say.
I can’t believe we only managed a draw against a poor team we should easily have beaten.
I’m ashamed to call myself Algerian.
Woman in Distress at the World Cup
My wife and I had great seats for a 2010 World Cup match. I noticed a fan in distress and I got up to help her. My wife asked, “Where are you going?’
I answered, “I think she lost her cell phone and I have a good idea where it is.â€
and that’s when the fight started…
7. Robert Green Jokes, Poor Guy!
Steven Gerard said that “The whole team is behind Robert Green.(the English goalkeeper who scored a goal in his own net)†His problem was that too many balls were getting behind him as well!
Robert Green is a man who makes his goals. Unfortunately for him, some are for the other team!
The English needed an experienced goalkeeper. Instead, they got one who was Green.
Robert Green was told to keep his eyes on the ball. Too bad he couldn’t keep his hands on it as well!
8. The inability of the FIFA Executive to use modern technolgy.
The whole world knew England scored, except for the only person that matters – the ref!
No argument!
9. The Passion of the fans and commentators
Spanish commentator celebrates goal by convulsing celebración de Camacho gol de Villa a Paraguay 2010
10. Â Great 2010 World Cup Commercials
Very Sexy Prestige Beer’s World Cup 2010 TV Ad Brazil Argentina
Animals Playing Soccer (World Cup South Africa 2010) Futbol (football)
Continue reading about Top World Cup Soccer / Football Highlights 2010 South Africa
Continue reading about Best Memories of the 2010 World Cup in South Africa
The Parrot Died
At dawn the telephone rings . . .
“Hello, Senor Rod?” Â Â This is Ernesto, the caretaker at your country
house.”
“Ah yes, Ernesto. Â What can I do for you? Â Is there a problem?”
“Um, I am just calling to advise you, Senor Rod, that your parrot – he
is dead.”
“My parrot? Â Dead? Â The one that won the International competition?”
“Si, Senor, that’s the one.”
“Damn! Â That’s a pity! Â I spent a small fortune on that bird. Â What did
he die from?”
“From eating the rotten meat, Senor Rod.
“”Rotten meat? Â Who the hell fed him rotten meat?”
“Nobody, Senor. Â He ate the meat of the dead horse.”
“Dead horse? Â What dead horse?”
“The thoroughbred, Senor Rod.”
“My prize thoroughbred is dead?”
“Yes, Senor Rod, he died from all that work pulling the water cart.”
“Are you insane?? Â What water cart?”
“The one we used to put out the fire, Senor.”
“Good Lord!! Â What fire are you talking about, man??”
“The one that destroyed your house, Senor! Â A candle fell and the
curtains caught on fire.”
“What the hell?? Â Are you saying that my mansion is destroyed because of
a candle??!!”
“Yes, Senor Rod.”
“But there’s electricity at the house!! Â Â What was the candle for?”
“For the funeral, Senor Rod.”
“WHAT BLOODY FUNERAL??!!”
“Your wife’s, Senor Rod. Â She showed up very late one night and I
thought she was a thief, so I hit her with your new Taylor Made Super
Quad 460 golf club.”
SILENCE……….. LONG SILENCE………
“Ernesto, if you broke that driver, you’re in deep shit!!”
What happens when you cross a singer and a rocking chair? — you rock to the beat.
How do you mend a broken jack o’ lantern? — with a pumpkin patch.
what do you call a lease of false teeth? — a dental rental
Where did the kittens go on the class trip — to the meow-seum.
What goes tick-tock, woof-woof? — a watchdog
What did the art dealer say when a man asked what a picture was supposed to be? — a reflection of you.
what did the girl sea say when the boy sea asked her for a date? — shore
What falls down but never gets hurt? — snow
What kind of brush do you use to comb a bee’s hair? — a honey comb
How do you get a peanut to laugh? — you crack it up
Who greets you at a haunted house? — a host ghost
Why did the farmer bury all his money? — to make his soil rich
Where can you find an ocean without water? — on a map
What do you call a horse that likes arts & crafts? — a hobby horse
Why do shoemakers go to heaven? Because they have good soles
What do you call an avid gardener? — herb
If fruit comes from a fruit tree, where does chicken come from? — a poul-tree
What do you get when you cross a grape with a lion? — a grape nobody picks on
What did the tree say to the mountain? — stop peaking at me!
What are sailors’ favorite fruits? — naval oranges
Where does a penguin keep his money? — in a snow bank
What did the boy chip say to the girl chip (crisp for the Brits)? — Let’s dance and I’ll dip you.
Why do bees have sticky hair? — they use honeycombs
Why did the reporter go into the ice cream shop? — he wanted to get the scoop
Why was it hard for the geometry teacher to walk? — she broke her angle
What do you call a monkey who loves potato chips? — a chipmonk
What kind of trees sew? — pine trees, they always have needles around
What did the plate say to the other plate? — lunch is on me.
What did the man say when the picture fell on his head? — I’ve been framed!
Did you hear about the mummies who went to the theater? — They gave the actors stage fright
How do you turn soup into gold? — add 24 carrots (karats)
What do you do if a rhino charges you? — Give him your credit card.
Why did they bury the battery? — Because it was dead.
What do sneezes wear on their feet? — ahh-shoes
What do wolves say when they are introduced? — howl do you do?
What does a car run on? — wheels
What did the sink say to the water faucet? — you’re a real drip
where do pigs park their cars? — in a porking lot
Why did the banana leave the cinema? — the film didn’t appeal to him.
Why did the little cookie (biscuit) cry? — because his mother was a wafer so long.
What do you call a hot dog in a bun? — an in betweenie weenie.
Why did the rabbit eat lunch under the sink? — He found a leek there.
How do you make a witch itch? — take away her W
What do you call two guys fighting over a prostitute? — tug of whore
*ok, so that was mine. Just threw it in to see if you were paying attention*
What do you call a crab who plays baseball? — a pinch-hitter
What is the clumsiest bee? — a bumbling bee
What kind of bean can’t grow? — a jelly bean
Whats green and fluffy and comes from mars? — a martian mellow
How does a man on the moon get his hair cut? — eclipse it
What do you do when you have no rubber bands? — find a plastic orchestra
— — — — and some old favorites — — — — — –
What time is it when an elephant sits on your fence? — time to get a new fence.
What is green, red, and runs 100 mph? — a frog in a blender
What is yellow, has wheels and lies on its back? — a dead school bus
Why did the man throw his margarine? — he wanted to see the butter fly
What did the finger say to the thumb? — I’m in glove with you (heather’s favorite)
What’s brown and sticky? — a stick
What’s red and not there — no tomatoes
What’s white and flies through the sky? — the coming of the lord
What do you get when you cross a turkey with a penguin? — a very cross penguin
Continue reading about Some of the corniest and worst jokes ever!
