Corny jokes

What do monkeys sing at Christmas ?

Jungle Bells, Jungle bells.. !

Why are Christmas trees like bad knitters ?

They both drop their needles !

What’s Christmas called in England ?

Yule Britannia !

What did the bald man say when he got a comb for Christmas ?

Thanks, I’ll never part with it !

Why is a burning candle like being thirsty ?

Beacause a little water ends both of them !

What do you get if you cross an apple with a Christmas tree ?

A pineapple !

What do you give a train driver for Christmas ?

Platform shoes !

What did the big candle say to the little candle ?

I’m going out tonight !

Whats happens to you at Christmas ?

Yule be happy !

How long does it take to burn a candle down ?

About a wick !