An ENQUIRER reporter has confirmed
the limo driver’s account of the
secret 2004 rendezvous.
DEVELOPING STORY : NO Kidding!!!!
“Did you hear the video game industry has changed the ratings of the game Grand Theft Auto to an adult-only rating after pressure from media watch dog groups and politicians because the game had hidden sexual content? Politicians felt the sex would have a negative effect on the children. See that shows you how up tight we are in this country about sex. Apparently a game when you’re stealing cars and killing cops is okay — it’s the sex we’re worried about.” –Jay Leno
“Senator Hillary Rodham Clinton has called for an investigation of the video game Grand Theft Auto after finding hidden sex in the game. I don’t know, is Hillary the best one to go looking for hidden sex? If Hillary was any good at finding it, her husband wouldn’t have been impeached.” –Jay Leno
“Remember when Republicans, like Newt Gingrich and Bob Livingston, when they got in trouble it was for sex scandals?
See Tom DeLay is in trouble for money. Or as Republicans would call it — this is a return to traditional values.” –Jay Leno
Barack works hard and spends most evenings bowling or playing basketball at the gym. His wife thinks he is pushing himself too hard,
so for his birthday she takes him to a local strip club.
The doorman at the club greets them and says, “Hey, Barack! How ya doin?” His wife is puzzled and asks if he’s been to this club before.
“Oh no,” says Barack. “He’s on my bowling team.”
When they are seated, a waitress asks Barack if he’d like his usual and brings over a Budweiser. His wife is becoming increasingly
uncomfortable and says, “How did she know that you drink Budweiser?” “She’s in the Ladies’ Bowling League, honey. We share lanes with them.”
A stripper then comes over to their table, throws her arms around Barack and starts to rub herself all over him and says, “Hi Barackie. Want your usual
table dance, big boy?” Barack’s wife, now furious, grabs her purse and storms out of the club.
Barack follows and spots her getting into a cab. Before she can slam the door, he jumps in beside her. Barack tries desperately to explain how the
stripper must have mistaken him for someone else, but his wife is having none of it.
She is screaming at him at the top of her lungs, calling him every four letter word in the book. The cabby turns around and says,
“Geez Barack, you picked up a real bitch this time.”
LESSONS IN SEX AND POLITICS
A son asks his father, “What can you tell me about politics? I have to learn about it for school tomorrow.”
The father thought some and said, “OK, son, the best way I can describe politics is to use an analogy.
Let’s say that I’m a capitalist because I’m the breadwinner. Your mother will be the government because she controls
everything, our maid will be the working class because she works for us, you will be the people because you answer to us,
and your baby brother will be the future. Does that help any?” The little boy said, “Well, Dad, I don’t know,
but I’ll think about what you said.”
Later that night, after everyone had gone to bed, the little boy was awaken by his baby brother’s crying. Upon further investigation, he found a dirty diaper. So, he went down the hall to his parent’s bedroom and found his father’s side of the bed empty and his mother wouldn’t wake up. Then he saw a light on in the guest room down the hall, and when he reached the door, he saw through the crack that his father was in bed with the maid. The son then turned and went back to bed.
The next morning, he said to his father at the breakfast table, “Dad, I think I understand politics much better now.” “Excellent, my boy,” he answered, “What have you learned?” The little boy thought for a minute and said, “I learned that capitalism is screwing the working class, government is sound asleep ignoring the people, and the future’s full of crap.”
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