A Blonde goes to Heaven
>
> A Blonde was sent on her way to Heaven. Upon arrival, a concerned St
> Peter
> met her at the Pearly Gates. ‘I’m sorry,’ St Peter said; ‘But Heaven is
> suffering from an overload of godly souls and we have been forced to put
> up an Entrance Exam for new arrivals to ease the burden of Heavenly
> Arrivals.’
>
> ‘That’s cool’ said the Blonde, ‘What does the Entrance Exam consist of?’
>
> ‘Just three questions’ said St Peter.
>
> ‘Which are?’ asked the Blonde.
>
> ‘The first,’ said St Peter, ‘is, which two days of the week start with
> the
> letter ‘T’ ‘? The second is ‘How many seconds are there in a year?’
> The third is ‘What was the name of the swagman in Waltzing Matilda?’
>
> ‘Now,’ said St Peter, ‘Go away and think about those questions and when
> I
> call upon you, I shall expect you to have those answers for me.’
>
> So the Blonde went away and gave those three questions some considerable
> thought (I expect you to do the same).
>
> The following morning, St Peter called upon the Blonde and asked if she
> had considered the questions, to which she replied, ‘I have.’
>
> ‘Well then,’ said St Peter, ‘Which two days of the week start with the
> letter T?’
>
> The Blonde said, ‘Today and Tomorrow.’
>
> St Peter pondered this answer for some time, and decided that indeed the
> answer can be applied to the question.
>
> ‘Well then, could I have your answer to the second of the three
> questions?’ St Peter went on, ‘how many seconds in a year?’
>
> The Blonde replied, ‘Twelve!’
>
> ‘Only twelve?’ exclaimed St Peter, ‘How did you arrive at that figure?’
>
> ‘Easy,’ said the Blonde, ‘there’s the second of January, the second of
> February, right through to the second of December, giving a total of
> twelve seconds.’
>
> St Peter looked at the Blonde and said, ‘I need some time to consider
> your
> answer before I can give you a decision.’ And he walked away shaking his
> head.
>
> A short time later, St Peter returned to the Blonde. ‘I’ll allow the
> answer to stand, but you need to get the third and final question
> absolutely correct to be allowed into Heaven. Now, can you tell me the
> answer to the name of the swagman in Waltzing Matilda?’
>
> The blonde replied: ‘Of the three questions, I found this the easiest to
> answer.’
>
> ‘Really!’ exclaimed St Peter, ‘And what is the answer?’
>
> ‘It’s Andy.’
>
> ‘Andy??’
>
> ‘Yes, Andy,’ said the Blonde.
>
> This totally floored St Peter, and he paced this way and that,
> deliberating the answer. Finally, he could not stand the suspense any
> longer, and turning to the blonde, asked ‘How in God’s name did you
> arrive
> at THAT answer?’
>
> ‘Easy’ said the Blonde, ‘Andy sat, Andy watched, Andy waited til his
> billy
> boiled.’
>
> And the Blonde entered Heaven…
>
> … you’re singing it now, aren’t you…??
>