John on July 24th, 2018

Trump: Crazy as…

Tags: , ,

John on July 24th, 2018

Best lier ever

Tags: , ,

John on February 14th, 2018

I certainly agree that this is the best explanation of BITCOIN

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Not long ago in a merchant found that a lot of monkeys lived near a certain village.

One day he came to the village saying he wanted to buy these monkeys!

He announced that he will buy the monkeys at $100 each. 

The villagers thought that this man must be crazy- how can somebody buy stray monkeys at $100 each?

Still, some people caught some monkeys and gave it to this merchant and he gave $100 for each monkey. 

This news spread like wildfire and people caught monkeys and sold them to the merchant.

After a few days, the merchant announced that he will buy monkeys at $200 each. 

The lazy villagers also ran around to catch the remaining monkeys!

They sold the remaining monkeys at $200 each.

Then the merchant then announced that he will buy monkeys @ $500 each!

The villagers start to lose sleep! … They caught six or seven monkeys, which was all that was left and got $500 each.

The villagers were waiting anxiously for the next announcement.

Then the merchant announced that he is going on holiday for a week but when he returns, he will buy monkeys at $1000 each!

He said that his employee would to take care of the monkeys he bought pending his return. 

The merchant went on holiday!

The villagers were frantic and very sad as there were no more monkeys left for them to sell it at $1000 each.

Then the merchant’s employee contacted them and told them that he would secretly sell them some monkeys at $700 each. 

This news spread like fire. Since the merchant buys monkey at $1000 each, they would achieve a $300 profit for each monkey.

The next day, villagers queued up near the monkey cage.

The employee sold all the monkeys at $700 each. The rich bought monkeys in large lots. The poor borrowed money from money lenders and bought monkeys!

The villagers took care of their monkeys & waited for the merchant to return. 

But nobody came! … Then they ran to the employee…

But he too could not be found!

The villagers then realised that they have bought the useless stray monkeys at $700 each and were now unable to sell them!

 

This monkey business is now known as Bitcoin! 

It will make a lot of people bankrupt and a very few people filthy rich in this monkey business.

This really is the best explanation of BITCOIN

Tags: , , , ,

John on January 24th, 2018

British pet ads,,,,,,and a little something extra for you teachers 

  BRITISH HUMOR IS DIFFERENT
These are classified ads, which were actually placed in U.K. Newspapers:
FREE YORKSHIRE TERRIER. 
8 years old,
Hateful little bastard.
Bites!
  

FREE PUPPIES
 
1/2 Cocker Spaniel, 1/2 sneaky neighbor’s dog.
  

FREE PUPPIES.
Mother is a Kennel Club registered German Shepherd.
Father is a Super Dog, able to leap tall fences in a single bound.

COWS, CALVES: NEVER BRED.

Also 1 gay bull for sale.

JOINING NUDIST COLONY
!
Must sell washer and dryer £100.
 

WEDDING DRESS FOR  SALE .
 
Worn once by mistake.
Call Stephanie.

**** And the WINNER is… ****

FOR  SALE BY OWNER.

Complete set of Encyclopedia Britannica, 45 volumes.
Excellent condition, £200 or best offer. No longer needed, got married, wife knows everything.
  

Statement of the Century
  
Thought from the Greatest Living Scottish Thinker–Billy Connolly.
  “If women are so bloody perfect at multitasking, How come they can’t have a headache and sex at the same time?”  
 
 

Tags: , ,

John on January 1st, 2018

Tags: , ,

John on December 25th, 2017

Beautiful Christmas Quote and Christmas toast

Tags: , ,

John on December 12th, 2017
A little humorous smile for you,if you can remember that far back. Merry Christmas

 

Grandma’s Christmas Invitation (Priceless)

Those of us who are of an older generation will appreciate this

cookie-elf

Dear Family,

I’m not dead yet.Christmas is still important to me.

If being in my Last Will and Testament is important to you, then you might consider being with me for my favorite holiday.

Dinner is at 2:00 p.m.

Not 2:15.

Not 2:05.

Two. 2:00.

Arrive late and you get what’s left over.

Last year, that moron Marshall fried a turkey in one of those contraptions and practically burned the deck off the house.

This year, the only peanut oil used to make the meal will be from the secret scoop of peanut butter I add to the carrot soup.
Jonathan, your last new wife was an idiot.
You don’t arrive at someone’s house on Christmas needing to use the oven and the stove to prepare your contribution to the meal.
Honest to God, I thought you might have learned after two wives – date them longer and save us all the agony of another divorce.
Now, the house rules are now slightly different this year.
New House Rules:
1. I have decided that 47% of you don’t know how to take care of nice things.
Therefore Paper plates and red Solo cups might be bad for the environment, but I’ll be gone soon and that will be your problem to deal with.
Besides, I don’t have to worry that you might break my good china when you offer to ‘do dishes’ and don’t understand that means ‘wash them in the sink, dry them and put them away, ’ not ‘stick them in the dishwasher and leave them for a week.
2. I don’t care if your favourite team is playing a critical game. The television stays off during the meal.
3. The “no cans for kids” rule still exists. We are using 2 liter bottles because your children still like to open a third can before finishing the first two. Parents can fill a child’s cup when it is empty.
There is one cup per kid and all of the cups have names on them and I’ll be paying close attention to refills.

4. Chloe, last year we were at Trudy’s house and I looked the other way when your Jell-O salad showed up. This year, if Jell-O salad comes in my front door it will go right back out the back door with the garbage. Save yourself some time, honey. You’ve never been a good cook.

You shouldn’t bring something that wiggles more than you. Buy something from the bakery.

5. Grandmothers give grandchildren cookies and candy. That is a fact of life. Your children can eat healthy at your home. At my home, they can eat whatever they like as long as they finish it.

6. I cook with bacon and bacon grease. That’s nothing new. Your being a vegetarian doesn’t change the fact that stuffing without bacon is like egg salad without eggs. Even the green bean casserole has a little bacon grease in it. That’s why it tastes so good.

Not eating bacon is just not natural. And as far as being healthy… look at me. I’ve outlived almost everyone I know.

7. Salad at Christmas is a waste of space.

8. I do not like cell phones. Leave them in the car. If I find one in my house I have a hammer to deal with it.

9. I do not like video cameras. There will be 32 people here. I am sure you can capture lots of memories without the camera pointed at me.
10. Being a mother means you have to actually pay attention to the kids. I have nice things and I don’t put them away just because company is coming over.
Mary, watch your kids and I’ll watch my things. If you don’t watch your kids, remember that I have a hammer.
11. Rhonda, a cat that requires a shot twice a day is a cat that has lived too many lives.
I think staying home to care for the cat instead of coming to dinner is your way of letting me know that I have lived too many lives too. I can live with that. Can you?
12. Words mean things. I say what I mean. Let me repeat: You don’t need to bring anything means you don’t need to bring anything. And if I did tell you to bring something, bring it in the quantity I said.
Really, this doesn’t have to be difficult.

13. Dominos and cards are better than anything that requires a battery or an on/off switch.

That was true when you were kids and it’s true now that you have kids.

14. Showing up for Christmas guarantees presents at Birthdays.

Not showing up may or may not guarantee a card that may or may not be signed.

In memory of your Grandfather, the back fridge will be filled with beer.

Drink until it is gone. I prefer wine anyway. But one from each family needs to be the designated driver.
(I realize that might be a difficult choice, so think about a cab because I don’t want any arguments on my front door step. Remember, I have a hammer.)

I really mean all of the above.

Love You,

Grandma.
laugh-8498

Tags: , ,

John on November 1st, 2017

Sarah Huckabee Sanders is pretty funny. I wonder what history will say about herZ?

 

Tags:

John on October 24th, 2017

Donald Trump Is A ‘Dangerous Clown’ On The New Yorker’

This week’s cover, “October Surprise,” by Carter Goodrich

Tags: , ,

John on October 19th, 2017

TRUMP: THE KING OF FAKE NEWS

and the Biggest MORON of all time

Can’t wait to see the Movie about the idiot Trump!

 

 

How many lies has Trump told?

 

Toronto Star: How many lies?

 

 

Tags: , ,