Just in case you weren’t feeling too old today, this Will certainly change things. Each year the staff at Beloit College in Wisconsin puts together a list to Try to give the faculty a sense of the mindset of this year’s incoming freshmen. Here’s this year’s list:
The people who are starting college this fall across The nation were born in 1993
They are too young to remember the 1st space
Shuttle blowing up.
Their lifetime has always included AIDS.
Bottle caps have always been screw off and plastic.
The CD was introduced the year they were born.
They have always had an answering! Machine
They have always had cable.
They cannot fathom not having a remote control.
Jay Leno has always been on the Tonight Show.
Popcorn has always been cooked in the microwave.
They never took a swim and thought about Jaws.
They can’t imagine what hard contact lenses are.
They don’t know who Mork was or where he was from.
They never heard: ‘Where’s the Beef?’ , ‘I’d walk
A mile for a Camel’, or ‘de plane, Boss, de plane.’
They do not care who shot J. R. And have no idea who J. R. Even is.
McDonald’s never came in Styrofoam containers.
They don’t have a clue how to use a typewriter.
Do you feel old yet? Pass this on to the other old fogies on your list. Notice the larger type, that’s For those of you who have trouble reading…Â 
So have a nice day!!!!! It is good to have friends who know about these things and are still alive and kicking!!!!
IF I HAD MY LIFE TO LIVE OVER – by Erma Bombeck
(written after she found out she was dying from cancer).
I would have gone to bed when I was sick instead of pretending the earth would go into a holding pattern if I weren’t there for the day.
I would have burned the pink candle sculpted like a rose before it melted in storage.
I would have talked less and listened more.
I would have invited friends over to dinner even if the carpet was stained, or the sofa faded.
I would have eaten the popcorn in the ‘good’ living room an d worried much less about the dirt when someone wanted to light a fire in the fireplace.
I would have taken the time to listen to my grandfather ramble about his youth.
I would have shared more of the responsibility carried by my husband.
I would never have insisted the car windows be rolled up on a summer day because my hair had just been teased and sprayed.
I would have sat on the lawn with my grass stains.
I would have cried and laughed less while watching television and more while watching life.
I would never have bought anything just because it was practical, wouldn’t show soil, or was guaranteed to last a lifetime.
Instead of wishing away nine months of pregnancy, I’d have cherished every moment and realized that the wonderment growing inside me was the only chance in life to assist God in a miracle.
When my kids kissed me impetuously, I would never have said, ‘Later. Now go get washed up for dinner.’ There would have been more ‘I love you’s’ More ‘I’m sorry’s.’
But mostly, given another shot at life, I would seize every minute, look at it and really see it . . live it and never give it back. STOP SWEATING THE SMALL STUFF!!!
Don’t worry about who doesn’t like you, who has more, or who’s doing what.  Instead, let’s cherish the relationships we have with those who do love us.
19 May 2010
The London 2012 mascots will be introduced to the world tonight at 7pm.
Seb Coe, London 2012 Chair told the BBC Today programme this morning that the characters would be launched in a film
“It’s a story by Michael Morpurgo, who I think would generally be considered to be one of our national treasures.
“I can tell you that they are formed from two drops of steel from the girders, the steel framework, that go to make up the Olympic Stadium.
“And they then take a journey between now and London.
“And they are fun – they are aimed particularly at children.”
London 2012 Olympic and Paralympic mascots, Wenlock and Mandeville.
London promised to connect young people with the power of the Games and in doing so inspire them to choose sport. The mascots will be one of the most powerful ways to connect with young people and deliver this promise.
Created from the last two drops of steel used to build the Olympic Stadium, sport is at the heart of the mascots’ story.
Along their journey to London 2012, they will travel around the UK, meeting people and learning about all the Olympic and Paralympic sports – always striving to push beyond their personal best.
The old Priest lay dying in the hospital.
>
> For years he had faithfully served the people of Ontario . He motioned for his nurse to come near.
>
> “Yes, Father?” said the nurse.
>
> “I would really like to see Dalton McGuinty and Dwight Duncan before I die,” whispered the Priest.
>
> “I’ll see what I can do, Father,” replied the nurse. The nurse sent the request to the Premier’s office and waited for a response. Soon the word arrived that the
> Premier and Finance Minister, devoted Christians both, were delighted to visit the Priest.
>
> As they went to the hospital, Dalton commented to Dwight, “I don’t know why the old Priest wants to see us but it will certainly help our images and might even get us
> some favourable publicity for our HST Deal.”
>
> Dwight agreed that it was a good thing.
>
> When they arrived at the Priest’s room, the Priest took Dalton ‘s hand in his right hand and Dwight’s hand in his left. There was silence and a look of serenity on
> the old Priest’s face.
>
> Finally Dalton McGuinty spoke. “Father, of all the people you could have chosen, why did you choose us to be with you as you near the end?”
>
> The old Priest slowly replied, “I have always tried to pattern my life after our Lord and Saviour Jesus Christ.”
>
> “Amen,” said Dalton . “Amen,” said Dwight.
>
> The old Priest continued, “Jesus died between two thieves. I would like to do the same”
| THE LOVE DRESS
A woman stopped by, unannounced, at her son’s house.. She knocked on the door then immediately walked in. She was shocked to see her daughter-in-law lying on the couch, totally naked. Soft music was playing, and the aroma of perfume filled the room. ‘What are you doing?’ she asked. ‘I’m waiting for Justin to come home from work.’ the daughter-in-law answered. ‘ But you’re naked!’ the mother-in-law exclaimed. ‘This is my love dress,’ the daughter-in-law explained. ‘Love dress? But you’re naked!’ ‘Justin loves me to wear this dress,’ she explained. ‘Every time he sees me in this dress he instantly becomes romantic and ravages me for hours.’ The mother-in-law left. When she got home she undressed, showered, put on her best perfume, dimmed the lights, put on a romantic CD, and lay on the couch waiting for her husband to arrive. Finally, her husband came home. He walked in and saw her lying there so provocatively. ‘ What are you doing?’ he asked.. ‘This is my love dress,’ she whispered sensually. ‘Needs ironing,’ he said, ‘What’s for dinner? and that’s when the fight started…
|
- Sometime this year, we taxpayers will receive an ‘ HST Compensation” payment.
- This is indeed a very exciting program, and I’ll explain it by using a Q & A format:
- Q. What is an ‘HST Compensation’ payment ?
- A. It is money that the provincial government will send to taxpayers.
- Q.. Where will the government get this money ?
- A. From taxpayers.
- Q. So the government is giving me back my own money ?
- A. Only a smidgen of it.
- Q. What is the purpose of this payment ?
- A. The plan is for you to use the money to purchase a high-definition TV set, thus stimulating the economy.
- Q. But isn’t that stimulating the economy of China ?
- A. Shut up.
- Below is some helpful advice on how to best help the economy by spending your compensation cheque wisely:
- * If you spend the stimulus money at Wal-Mart, the money will go to China or Sri Lanka …
- * If you spend it on gasoline, your money will go to the Arabs.
- * If you purchase a computer, it will go to India , Taiwan or China .
- * If you purchase fruit and vegetables, it will go to Mexico , Honduras and Guatemala ..
- * If you buy an efficient car, it will go to Japan or Korea .
- * If you purchase useless stuff, it will go to Taiwan .
- * If you pay your credit cards off, or buy stock, it will go
- to management bonuses and they will hide it offshore.
- Instead, keep the money in Canada by:
- 1) Spending it at yard sales, or
- 2) Going to hockey games, or
- 3) Spending it on prostitutes, or
- 4)Â Beer or
- 5) Tattoos.
- (These are the only Canadian businesses still operating in Canada. )
- Conclusion:
- Go to a hockey game with a tattooed prostitute that you met at a yard
- sale and drink beer all day !
- No need to thank me, I’m just glad I could be of help.
| Friday, June 11 | ||
|---|---|---|
| LIVE | ENCORE | |
| Opening ceremony | 8 am ETÂ   |
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| 2010 FIFA World Cup Today on CBC | 9:30 am ETÂ |
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| South Africa vs. Mexico (Match 1) | 9:45 am ET |
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| 2010 FIFA World Cup Today on CBC | 2 pm ETÂ |
|
| Uruguay vs. France (Match 2) | 2:15 pm ET |
|
| Post Game on CBC presented by CIBC | 4:30 pm ETÂ  |
|
| Opening ceremony | 5:30 pm ETÂ |
|
| Match of the Day | 7:30 pm LOCALÂ |
|
| 2010 FIFA World Cup Today on CBC | 7:00 pm ETÂ |
|
| South Africa vs. Mexico (Match 1) | 7:15 pm ET |
|
| 2010 FIFA World Cup Today on CBC | 9:30 pm ETÂ |
|
| Uruguay vs. France (Match 2) | 9:45 pm ET |
|
