Standing Women
This Mother’s Day women from around the world will stand together in silence for five minutes at exactly 1 p.m. They will stand in silence and think about how they can bring about a better world. Their mantra:
We are standing for the world’s children and grandchildren, and for the seven generations beyond them.
We dream of a world where all of our children have safe drinking water, clean air to breathe and enough food to eat.
A world where they have access to a basic education to develop their minds and healthcare to mature their growing bodies.
A world where they have a warm, safe and loving place to call home.
Mother’s Day – May 9, 2010, 1pm Local Time
http://www.standingwomen.org/
Standing Women will stand together
across the globe every year on the
second Sunday in May at 1 p.m.
local time with those in their time zone.
Feel free to stand with a different time zone
if another hour is more convenient for you.A world where they don’t live in fear of violence – in their home, their neighbourhood, in their school or in their world.
This is the world of which we dream.
This is the cause for which we stand.
Will you join them? For more information, or to register, visit www.standingwomen.org.
“Just wait until your father gets home.”
My Mother taught me to ‘meet a challenge.’
“What were you thinking? Answer me when I talk to you! Don’t talk back to me!”
My Mother taught me ‘logic.’
“If I told you once, I’ve told you a million times. Don’t exaggerate!”
My mother taught me the ‘circle of Life.’
“I brought you into this world, and I can take you out.”
My mother taught me about ‘behavior modification.’
“Stop acting like your father!”
One day the mother allowed the boy to feel the movements of the unborn child. The six-year old was obviously impressed, but made no comment. Furthermore, he stopped telling his teacher about the impending event.
The teacher finally sat the boy on her lap and said, “Tommy, whatever has become of that baby brother or sister you were expecting at home?”
Tommy burst into tears and confessed, “I think Mommy ate it!”
Cook a man a fish and you feed him for a day.
But teach a man to fish and you get rid of him for the whole weekend.
Check out the following site for more jokes, stories, free animations and poems about Mother’s Day:
http://mothersdayfunontheweb.blogspot.com/
A toaster – never
Or any Household Appliances
Exercise Equipment – sends the wrong message!
Breakfast in Bed – Bad, messy idea!
Lottery Tickets – $2 ticket not too thoughtfull. Chance of winning-nill!
Email card – can’t replace the good old real card.
Bath sets – don’t you just hate how they pile up under the sink!?
Yard Tools – no way!
New BBQ – it’s the only break a woman gets when the guy cooks. Who is the gift rreally for?
Pets – can you believe it?
A list of things you will do for her. – never happens!
A Mug – how many does she need?
Toilet Bowl Brush – can you imagine?
New dust mop or vacuum cleaner – just as bad
Nothing, Â because,”You”re not my Mother .” and that’s when the fight started…
ANY ideas, please email them to me. Thanks
** What to get my mother for Mother’s Day????
1. What is the meaning of life?
2. Is there a God?
3. Will I get laid tonight?
4. Why is there suffering and death?
5. Is there life on other planets?
6. Which are better, dogs or cats?
7. How can I lose weight and keep it off?
8. Do I really have a soul Mate?
9. When will the world end?
10. Why do men lose their hair?
Answers to follow when I get them!!!
funny emails to forward
Over the centuries mothers have given their children plenty of good advice; here are some examples which Will and Guy find quite amusing.
HUMPTY DUMPTY’S MOTHER: Humpty, If I’ve told you once, I’ve told you a hundred times not to sit on that wall. But would you listen to me? No!
COLUMBUS’S MOTHER: I don’t care what you’ve discovered, Christopher. You could have written.
MICHELANGELO’S MOTHER: Mike, can’t you paint on walls like other children? Do you have any idea how hard it is to get that stuff off the ceiling?
NAPOLEON’S MOTHER: All right, Napoleon. If you aren’t hiding your report card inside your jacket, then take your hand out of there and prove it.
GOLDILOCKS’S MOTHER: I’ve got a bill here for a broken chair from the Bear family. Do you know anything about this Goldie?
ALBERT EINSTEIN’S MOTHER: But, Albert, it’s your senior picture. Can’t you do something about your hair? Styling gel, mousse, something…?
THOMAS EDISON’S MOTHER: Of course I’m proud that you invented the electric light bulb, Thomas. Now turn off that light and get to bed!
Head of the Household
My husband, Jeff, and I incurred several problems while assembling our new computer system, so we called the help desk. The man on the phone started to talk to Jeff in computer jargon, which confused us even more.
“Sir,” my husband politely said, “please explain what I should do as if I were a four-year-old.”
“Okay,” the computer technician replied. “Son, could you please put your mommy on the phone?”
Your Biggest Fan
While waiting in a bookstore for a guest author to sign her latest book, I leafed through some of the Civil War novels she had written. The woman in line behind me commented, “Those are the best books I’ve ever read. I couldn’t put them down.”
Before I could reply, the author looked over and said, “Oh, cut it out, Mom!”
Wonder Chef
To help a busy mother get away for a two-week vacation (Mother’s Day Gift), my sister agreed to stay with the woman’s three children. On the first evening, she cooked one of their favorite meals. To the youngsters’ delight, dinner after dinner, she “guessed” what they liked. When my sister returned home, we asked her what the secret of her success was. “Each afternoon I would flip through the cookbook until I found a page that was ripped, smudged and food-splattered,” she explained. “Then I would make that recipe. It worked every time!”
Funny Jokes for Mother’s Day
After putting her children to bed, Jacqui changes into her old jeans and a worn out blouse and proceeds to wash her hair. As she hears the children getting more and more noisy in their bedroom, her tolerance grows thin. At last Jacqui wraps a towel around her wet head and storms into their room, putting them back to bed and giving them severe warnings. While leaving the room, she overhears her three-year-old say in a shaky voice, ‘Who was “that”?’
Good Bye Mother
A young man was walking through a supermarket to pick up a few things when he noticed an old lady following him around. Thinking nothing of it, he ignored her and continued on. Finally he went to the checkout line, but she got in front of him.
“Pardon me,” she said, “I’m sorry if my staring at you has made you feel uncomfortable. It’s just that you look just like my son, who I haven’t seen in a long time.”
“That’s a shame,” replied the young man, “is there anything I can do for you?”
“Yes,” she said, “as I’m leaving, can you say ‘Good bye, Mother!’ It would make me feel so much better.”
“Sure,” answered the young man. As the old woman was leaving, he called out, “Good bye, Mother!” As he stepped up to the checkout counter, he saw that his total was $127.50. “How can that be?” he asked, “I only purchased a few things!”
“Your mother said that you would pay for her,” said the clerk.
Please send your “things” to me and I’ll post them here:
My mother can solve any crossword puzzle.
My mother can name every actor in every movie.
My mom can turn the other cheek
My mother always has an answer for everything – even when I haven’t asked!
Mother’s Dictionary of Meanings
Dumbwaiter: One who asks if the kids would care to order dessert.
Feedback: The inevitable result when the baby doesn’t appreciate the strained carrots.
Full Name: What you call your child when you’re mad at him.
Grandparents: The people who think your children are wonderful even though they’re sure you’re not raising them right.
Hearsay: What toddlers do when anyone mutters a dirty word.
Independent: How we want our children to be for as long as they do everything we say.
Puddle: A small body of water that draws other small bodies wearing dry shoes into it.
Show Off: A child who is more talented than yours.
Sterilize: What you do to your first baby’s pacifier by boiling it, and to your last baby’s pacifier by blowing on it and wiping it with saliva.
Top Bunk: Where you should never put a child wearing Superman jammies.
Two-Minute Warning: When the baby’s face turns red and she begins to make those familiar-grunting noises.
Whodunit: None of the kids that live in your house.
