John on January 16th, 2010

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John on January 16th, 2010

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John on January 16th, 2010

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John on January 16th, 2010

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John on January 16th, 2010

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John on January 16th, 2010

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John on January 16th, 2010

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John on January 16th, 2010

wiferunaway husbandhusband

porsche

This Middle aged man was going through his mid-life crisis so he went out and bought him a new bright red Porsche. So he decided to take his new Porsche on a test drive down the interstate one day.

running porsche

He got up to about 85 mph and all of a sudden he saw this highway patrolman with his blue lights and siren blaring coming toward him. He decided he and his new Porsche would outrun the officer. So the man sped up to 95 mph,and then to 105 mph, but the patrolman was still coming.

traffic chasing porsche

The man finally came to his senses and said to himself, “This is crazy, I could go to jail for this,” so he pulled over. The patrolman came to the car and told the man, “It has been a long day and I am tired. If you can give me an excuse no one else has ever given me I will let you go.”

traffic policeman

So the man told the officer, “Last night my wife ran off with a patrolman and when I seen you chasing me I thought you were trying to bring her back.” The officer looked at the man and said, “Have a nice day.”

toon-laughing

John on January 16th, 2010

A man was telling his neighbor, “I just bought a new hearing aid. It cost me four thousand dollars, but it’s state of the art. It’s perfect.”

old man

“Really,” answered the neighbor . “What kind is it?”

“Twelve thirty.”

John on January 16th, 2010

Tavern

The bartender says, “Look, buddy, I’ll bring ya’ martinis all night long but you gotta tell me why you look inside your shirt pocket before you order a refill.”

The customer replies, “I’m peeking at a photo of my wife. When she starts to look good, I know it’s time to go home.”