A woman comes home and tells her husband, “Remember those headaches I’ve been having all these years? Well, they’re gone.”
“No more headaches?” the husband asks,
”What happened?”
His wife replies, Margie referred me to a hypnotist. H e told me to stand in front of a mirror, stare at myself and repeat
“I do not Have a Headache;
I do not have a headache,
I do not have a headache..”
It Worked! The headaches are all gone.”
The husband replies, “Well, that is wonderful.”
His wife then says, “You know, you haven’t been exactly a ball of Fire in the bedroom these last few years. Why don’t you go see the
Hypnotist and see if he can do anything for that?”
The husband agrees to try it
Following his appointment, the husband comes home, rips off his clothes, picks up his wife and carries her into the bedroom.
He puts her on the bed and says,
“Don’t move, I’ll be right back.”
He goes into the Bathroom and comes back a few minutes later and jumps into bed and makes Passionate love to his wife like never before.
His wife says, “Boy, that was wonderful!”
The husband says, “Don’t move! I will be right back.”
He goes back into the bathroom,
comes back and round two was even better than The First time.
The wife sits up and her head is spinning.
Her husband again says,
“Don’t move, I’ll be right back.”
With that, he goes back in the bathroom.
This time, his wife quietly follows him and there, in the Bathroom,
She sees him standing at the mirror and saying,
“She’s not my Wife.
She’s Not my wife.
She’s not my wife…”
His funeral service will be held on Friday.
When things in your life seem , almost too much to handle,
When 24 Hours in a day is not enough,
Remember the mayonnaise jar and 2 cups of coffee.
A professor stood before his philosophy class
And had some  items in  front of him.
When the class began, wordlessly,
He picked up a very large and empty mayonnaise jar
and proceeded to fill it with golf balls.
He then asked the students, if the jar was full.
They agreed that it was.
The professor then picked up a box of pebbles and poured
them into the jar. Â He shook the jar lightly.
The pebbles rolled into the open Areas between the golf balls.
He then asked the students again if the jar was full. Â They agreed it was.
The professor next picked up a box of sand and poured it into the jar.
Of course, the sand filled up everything else.
He asked once more if the jar was full. The students responded with a unanimous ‘yes.’
The professor then produced  two cups of coffee from under the table and poured the entire contents  into the jar, effectively
filling the empty space between the sand. Â The students laughed.
‘Now,’ said the professor, Â as the laughter subsided,
‘I want you to recognize that this jar represents your life.
The golf balls are the important things – family,
children, health, Friends, and Favorite passions –
Things that if everything else was lost and only they remained, Your life would still be full.
The pebbles are the other things that matter like your job, house, and  car.
The sand is everything else –The small stuff.
‘If you put the sand into the jar first,’ Â He continued,
‘there is no room for  the pebbles or the golf balls.
The same goes for life.
If you spend all your time and energy on the small stuff,
You will never have room for the things that are important to you.
So…
Pay attention to the things that are critical to your happiness.
Play With your children.
Take time to get medical checkups.
Take your partner out to dinner.
There will always be time to clean the house and fix the disposal.
‘Take care of the golf balls first —
The things that really matter.
Set your priorities. The rest is just sand.’
One of the students raised her hand and inquired what the coffee represented.
The professor smiled.
‘I’m glad you asked’.
It just goes to show you that no matter how full your life  may seem,
there’s always room for a couple of cups of coffee with  a friend.’
Please share this with other “Golf Balls”
I just did……..
