PASSAGE OF TIME LEAVES OUT NO ONE !!!
Seeing these pictures made me feel better!
Ian Torpe
Val Kilmer
Mickey Rourke
Brendan Fraser
More after the break
Russel Crowe
Alec Baldwin
Richard Gere
Roger Moore
Arnold Schwarzenegger
Pierce Brosnan
Clint Eastwood
Rod Stewart
ARE YOU FEELING BETTER TOO???
Take care.
We are in trouble…
The population of the United States is approx. 310 million.
160 million are retired.
That leaves 140 million to do the work.
There are 85 million in school.
Which leaves 55 million to do the work.
Of this there are 35 million employed by the federal government.
Leaving 15 million to do the work.
2.8 million are in the armed forces preoccupied with killing Osama
Bin-Laden.
Which leaves 12.2 million to do the work.
Take from that total the 10.8 million people who work for state and city
Governments. And that leaves 1.4 million to do the work.
At any given time there are 188,000 people in hospitals.
Leaving 1,212,000 to do the work.
Now, there are 1,211,998 people in prisons
That leaves just two people to do the work
You and me.
And there you are,
Sitting on your ass,
At your computer, reading jokes.
Nice. Real nice.
Continue reading about We are in trouble – For our US Friends
Memory’s Going
An eighty year old couple were having problems remembering things, so they decided to go to their doctor to make sure nothing was wrong with them. When they arrived at the doctor’s office, they explained to the doctor about the problems they were having with their memory.
After checking the couple out, the doctor told them that they were physically okay but might want to start writing things down, making notes to help them remember things. The couple thanked the doctor and left.
Later that night while watching TV, the old man got up from his chair and his wife asked, “Where are you going?”
He replied, “To the kitchen.”
She asked, “Will you get me a bowl of ice cream?”
“Sure.”
Then his wife asked him, “Don’t you think you should write it down so you can remember it?”
“No, I can remember that.”
“Well, I also would like some strawberries on top. You had better write that down cause I know you’ll forget that,” his wife said.
“I can remember that, you want a bowl of ice cream with strawberries.”
She replied, “Well, I also would like whipped cream on top. I know you will forget that. You had better write it down.”
With irritation in his voice, he said, “I don’t need to write that down, I can remember that.” He went into the kitchen.
After about 20 minutes, he returned from the kitchen and handed her a plate of bacon and eggs.
She stared at the plate for a moment and said, “You forgot my toast.”
Spain will reportedly receive the most money out of all 32 World Cup teams if it wins the World Cup, and several Spanish political parties are unhappy at the figure with the country facing an economic crisis.
The Spanish media said each player could earn 600,000 euros (C$755,545) for winning the title, and collect 120,000 euros (C$151,125) just for reaching the July 11 final.
Political party Izquierda Unida asked how such an amount could be paid “in the context of a general crisis where pensions are being frozen and salaries are dropping.â€
Goalkeeper Iker Casillas says the players have family and friends “suffering from the crisis†but that “you shouldn’t mix one thing with the other.â€
Iker Casillas’ Annual salary*: € 6,000,000
Day                hour           min               second
25000 euros     3125 euros    52 euros 08 cents       86 cents
You would think he might help out his suffering family!!!
G20 leaders diving into Fake Lake , Toronto, 2010.
I feel bad for the tax payers and that lady in the pool!
Continue reading about G20 Fake Lake Belly Flop 10 cm isn’t deep enough!
G20 continues to be an incredible Joke on Canadian Tax payers.
I love the millions spent in and around Huntsville for the G8 on potable toilets. Some miles away from any delegats. What a waste!
“When you are 4-0 up you should never lose 7-1” – Lawrie McMenemy, Manager of Southampton FC
“And Farmer has now scored 19 goals, exactly double the number he scored last season” – Gary Lyon an Australian Commentator, finding multiplication difficult!
“Winning doesn’t really matter as long as you win” -Vinny Jones!
“Is the Pope Catholic. No I’m serious, is he? I really need to know”– David Beckham.
“Diego Maradona – a flawed genius who has now become a genius who is flawed” – Bob Wilson
“Chile have three options – they could win or they could lose.”– Kevin Keegan
“Newcastle, of course, unbeaten in their last five wins.” – Brian Moore
“I spent 90 percent of my money on women and drink. The rest I wasted!” – The legendary George Best, RIP
“This is an unusual Scotland side because they have good players”– Javier Clemente
“The Germans only have one player under 22, and he’s 23!†– Kevin Keegan!
“We lost because we didn’t win”– Ronaldo
“Well, I can play in the centre, on the right and occasionally on the left side”– David Beckham after being asked if he is ‘volatile’, obviously thinking that this meant ‘versatile’
Reporter:-Â “It looked like you were outplayed in certain area’s of the field in today’s game.” Gordon Strachan:-Â “Yes, we were outplayed in certain parts of the field today, the big green area of it…”
FUNNY EMAILS TO FORWARD
Continue reading about Funny Football Soccer Quotes – World Cup Fever 2010
Little Johnny was sad and sitting on the back bench. His teacher came in the class, and she found Little Johnny sitting at the back, where he never sat earlier.
Teacher asked, “What is wrong with you Johnny.”
Little johnny said, “Mam, you tell me, whether it is right to punish someone for not doing something?”
The teacher thought for a while, and said, “No, of course not.”
Little Johnny said, “Then, Mam, I have not done my homework.”
Teacher: Why have you come so late in the class?
Little Johnny: Sir I saw a signboard down the road.
Teacher: That is fine that you saw a signboard down the road, but what does a signboard have to do with your being late?
Little Johnny The signboard said, “School Ahead, Go Slow!”
Little Johnny was sad and sitting on the back bench. His teacher came in the class, and she found Little Johnny sitting at the back, where he never sat earlier.
Teacher asked, “What is wrong with you Johnny.”
Little johnny said, “Mam, you tell me, whether it is right to punish someone for not doing something?”
The teacher thought for a while, and said, “No, of course not.”
Little Johnny said, “Then, Mam, I have not done my homework.”
Teacher: Why have you come so late in the class?
Little Johnny: Sir I saw a signboard down the road.
Teacher: That is fine that you saw a signboard down the road, but what does a signboard have to do with your being late?
Little Johnny The signboard said, “School Ahead, Go Slow!”
Summer vacation was over and Little Johnny returned back to school.
Only two days later his teacher phoned his mother to tell her that he was misbehaving.
“Wait a minute,” she said. “I had Johnny with me for three months and I never called you once when he misbehaved!”
What Is Your Long Term Goal?
“I’d like to have your jobâ€
Continue reading about Number One all time Interview Mistake
Hahahaha how much !!?
“I’m not wanted in this state.”
“How many young women work here?”
“I didn’t steal it; I just borrowed it.”
“You touch somebody and they call it sexual harassment!”
“I’ve never heard such a stupid question.”
You look just like my old boss. I hated my old boss!
Have you got a light?
You want me to do WHAT!!?
Do you mind if I take my clothes off ?
Do you mind if I remain standing ?
Do you cover Viagra?
Continue reading about Funny things not to say in an Interview