Jul

Retired People Humour

John on July 31st, 2017

Old Age Humor

TheÂ Association of Retired People Questions and Answers from a recent Forum
Q:Â Where can single men over the age of 70 find younger women who are interested in them?	A:Â Try a bookstore, under Fiction.
Q:Â What can a man do while his wife is going through menopause?	A:Â Keep busy. If you’re handy with tools, you can finish the basement. When you’re done, you will have a place to live.
Q:Â Someone has told me that menopause is mentioned in the bible… Is that true?Â Where can it be found?	A:Â Yes. Matthew 14:92:Â “And Mary rode Joseph’s ass all the way to Egypt…”
Q:Â How can you increase the heart rate of your over-70 year-old husband?	A:Â Tell him you’re pregnant.
Q:Â How can you avoid that terrible curse of the elderly wrinkles?	A:Â Take off your glasses.
Q:Â Seriously! What can I do for these crow’s feet and all those wrinkles on my face?	A:Â Go braless. It will usually pull them out..
Q:Â Why should 70 plus year old people use valet parking?	A:Â Valets don’t forget where they park your car.
Q:Â Is it common for 70-plus year olds to have problems with short term memory storage?	A:Â Storing memory is not a problem; retrieving it is the problem.
Q:Â As people age, do they sleep more soundly?	A:Â Yes, but usually in the afternoon.
Q:Â Where should 70-plus year olds look for eye glasses?	A:Â On their foreheads.
Q:Â What is the most common remark made by 70-plus year olds when they enter antique stores?	A:Â “Gosh, I remember these!”
SMILE, You’ve still got your sense of humor!

Tags: humor for seniors, old age humour, s

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Jun

TWITTER SHOULD FIRE TRUMP

John on June 30th, 2017

TWITTER SHOULD FIRE TRUMP

Tags: TRUMP and twitter humor, trump fired, twitter and trump funny

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Jun

Trump Powers Whitehouse with COAL

John on June 12th, 2017

Trump: ” It’s going to be very, very good power, Best in the world, Very,very clean. Whitehouse is a dumb name. I’m going to call it the Trump House. Coal miners love me!”