Tags: funny cartoon, funny email forward
As a teacher, Ms. Jones, was curious about how each of her students celebrated Christmas She called on young Patrick Murphy.
“Tell me Patrick what do you do at Christmas time?” She asked.
Patrick addressed the class, “Well Ms. Jones, me and my twelve brothers and sisters go to the midnight Mass and we sing hymns, then we come home very late and we put mince pies by the back door and hang up our stockings. Then all excited we go to bed and wait for Father Christmas to come with all our toys.”
“Very nice Patrick,” she said. “Now Jimmy Brown, what do you do at Christmas?”
“Well, Ms. Jones, me and my sister also go to Church with Mum and Dad and we sing carols and we get home ever so late. We put cookies and milk by the chimney and we hang up our stockings. We hardly sleep, waiting for Santa Claus to bring our presents.”
Realizing there was a Jewish boy in the class and not wanting to leave him out of the discussion, she asked, “Now, Isaac Cohen, what do you do at Christmas?”
Isaac said, “Well, it’s the same thing every year. Dad comes home from the office we all pile into the Mercedes, then we drive to Dad’s toy factory. When we get inside, and see all of the empty shelves we all begin to sing ‘What a Friend We Have in Jesus.’ Then we all go to the Bahamas.”
Tiger Woods Holiday Poem
Twas the night of Thanksgiving and out of the house
Tiger Woods came a flyin’, chased by his spouse.
She wielded a nine iron and wasn’t too merry,
Cause a bimbo’s phone number was in his Blackberry.
He’d been cheatin’ on Elin, and the story progressed.
Woman after woman stepped up and confessed.
He’d been cheatin’ with Holly, and Jaimee, and Cori,
With Joselyn, and Kalika. The world had the story.
From the top of the Tour to the basement of blues,
Tiger’s sad sordid tale was all over the news.
With hostesses, waitresses, he had lots of sex,
When not in their pants, he was sendin’ them texts.
Despite all his cryin’ and beggin’ and pleadin’,
Tiger’s wife went investin’ — a new home in Sweden.
And I heard her exclaim from her white Escalade,
“If you’re gettin’ laid then I’m gettin’ paid.”
She’s not pouting, in fact, she is of jolly good cheer,
Her prenup made Christmas come early this year..
Get One At – Friendster Comments
“That’s my Frisbee!!!!
![[]](https://i0.wp.com/www.eligr.com/wp-content/uploads/2009/12/postie-media186.jpeg?resize=377%2C411)
Bear, A Lion and a Pig ………….
A bear, a lion and a pig meet.
Bear says: “if I roar in the forest, the entire forest is shivering with fear.”
Lion says: “if I roar in the jungle, the entire jungle is afraid of me.”
Pig says: “big deal…. I only have to cough, and the entire planet shits itself.”
A  lot of folks can’t understand how we  came
to  have an oil shortage here in  Canada .
Well, Â there’s a very simple answer,
Nobody bothered  to check the oil.
We just didn’t know we  were getting low.
The  reason for this is  purely geographical.
Our  Oil is located  in:
ALBERTA
SASKATCHEWAN
BRITISH COLUMBIA
MANITOBA
COASTAL Â NEW Â BRUNSWICK
COASTAL Â NEWFOUNDLAND
Our DIPSTICKS are   located   in OTTAWA
Any  Questions ???
NO  ?….  Didn’t  think so.
